


Moonlight

by Vamps4Vamps



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Girls Healing Eachother, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mutual Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Insert, Slow Burn, black girls deserve to be angry!, the writing gets better circa chapter 9
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21833920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vamps4Vamps/pseuds/Vamps4Vamps
Summary: After the fortunate murder of her father, a witch ends up halfway across in the country in the tiny town of Forks, Washington. What chaos will her presence bring?Donate to: https://mthg.org/ to support the Quileute tribe moving to higher ground.(An attempt at addressing the racism of canon.)
Relationships: Leah Clearwater/Original Female Character(s), Rosalie Hale/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 91
Kudos: 346





	1. Chapter 1

The worst thing about being eighteen in 2005 was there was no Tinder. The second worst thing was Abeni had killed her father. She considered the first worst than the second - she was horny and gay and the brief flings in high-school only satiated her so long - and the second, a bigger pain in the ass than the first.

Her family called themselves 'rootworkers'. Each had their skill. Abeni's mother was good with love spells. Delphine was good for quickies and Abeni did rituals. She baked her spells into breads and pans, murmuring words as she kneaded them into proper shape. She could sit for hours at a time.

It was partially because this wasn't her first life. In her past life or her future life or another self entirely, it was 2019 and she had died brutally. In this life, she grew up with an abusive father, a witch for a mother, and one loving sister.

The years were a blur. 12 and she meditated like she used to. Her anxiety carried with her to this world. Her new family bringing their own set of issues. She's paranoid. She flinches at every loud sound. She has too much mouth on her. Too rash and reckless as her father liked to say. She figures it came with the territory of having lived twice. 13 and she reads Zora Neale Hurston. Her past life drifts farther and farther away. She practices the spells without intent. They lose their power, but she remembers the routine. Beef tongue for curses. Red for love. Rosemary for protection. Her father doesn't let her leave unless to go to the library for school. 16 and her sister leaves for the West coast. Her mother weeps for days on end, casts spells in the dead of the night asking for protection. 18 and Abeni kills him. It takes thirty days for the bastard to die - thirty days of her lighting black candles and burying chicken hearts-- and when he finally does, it's _glorious_. Abeni takes pride in knowing that it's her hands who did this.

And her family knew too. Her mother had seen the ingredients hidden in her daughter's closet. She hadn't wanted to assume, but she knew. Abeni could tell.

When Delphine finds out, she talks their mother into living with her. Delphine - practical, sweet, Delphine- uproots their little home and moves them to Forks, Washington. A bleary town. It's May and Abeni has to wait until the next year to enroll. She spends her days baking and going to the library. They rarely let her leave. They drop her off and pick her up, Monday through Saturday. 

It's a Sunday in June when Abeni meets the wolf girl. She knows this because Sunday is the only day her mother and sister can find it in their hearts to let her drive by herself. Something about her being unsupervised--- perhaps the fact that she had killed her father -- made her family anxious. And so, Abeni is driving. She's driving slowly to La Push to pick up her sister from work. The clock reads 5 AM and she'd just turned around the corner when she sees her. A woman, skinny, and half-hidden by the shadows of the moon kicking the deflated tire of a car repeatedly. 

Abeni doesn't give it much thought. She pulls over, gets out of the car, and pockets her knife.

She doesn't ask ' _Are you okay?_ '. Her mom had always said yes. Abeni knew how easy it was to lie. 

"Do you need a ride?" she half-yells as she walks over.

The woman whips around to look at her, so fast Abeni would've thought she hadn't moved at all. Full lips and a face cut by sharp cheekbones. Her nose, small and flat, the corners of her lips slightly turned down in a pout. It strikes Abeni that she looks like she's her age. The harsh light of Abeni's car illuminates the redness of her cheeks and puffiness of her eyes. Her eyes are dark brown. Moving across Abeni's face, searching for something. It takes Abeni a moment to realize she had spoken. Another moment to realize she was waiting for an answer. 

Regardless of how many lives she had lived, she was still gay. At least, that much hadn't changed.

"I'm sorry. What'd you say?"

"Who are you?" she repeats. Her voice sounds scratchy, ragged, like she had yelled herself horse.

"Abeni Brown." At the sight of the woman's expression, she continues. "My sister works at the health clinic."

_And she'll curse me if I'm late._

Forks is such a small place. La Push, even smaller. It would still take some time before Abeni got used to people acting entitled to her name, confused when they didn't know her. 

"Delphine?" It's an easy enough guess. They are the only black people for miles as far as Abeni knew. She nods. 

"Leah," the woman offers. "My car's engine blew and I, uhm-" She gestures to the flat tire and laughs bitterly. She wags her boot in the air. "- I guess I have more strength than I thought."

"I can take you home."

"No," she says quickly. "I-I can't go home right now."

Abeni thinks for a moment. "Well, I don't have much gas, but I'm not about to leave you here. I can take you to my house." The woman, _Leah_ , stares at her. "I only live with women. We're not gonna kill you."

"Women can be just as viscous as men."

"Yeah," Abeni thought of her dad on the floor. Bloodied and comatose. She grinned. "You don't have to worry about us, though. The most my mom will do is feed you to death."

Leah's smile is small. After a moment, she opens her car door and pulls out two bags, one plastic and one a regular bookbag. Both stuffed with clothes. She looks ashamed for a split second before her mask slips in place. Abeni can tell explaining herself isn't something she's used to. "I'm not sleeping over - I'll stay at a motel once-"

Abeni glances at the woman, from her worn tee to the scuffed Timberland boots. She laughs. "No drama. No shade, but motels aren't good places for women like us. You're better off just waiting. "

Women like us meaning black or brown. Women like us meaning poor. Leah catches her meaning. 

She hops into the passenger seat and Abeni into the driver's side. As Abeni begins to drive, she wonders how she's going to explain this to her sister. _I found this girl on the side of the road and she looked like she needed help, so I'm bringing her home._ Delphine would kill her quite simply.

"Do you know Delphine?"

"Her and my mom work together," says Leah. "Sue Clearwater?"

"I just moved here. I don't know anyone," she responds. There's no point in pretending. She sighs. "You don't have to tell me, but it'd help if I knew what happened - just because if my sister knows your mom then-"

"-she probably knows what happened," Leah mumbles.

"Well, no. It means she probably knows something. I'd just like to know more."

Leah huffs a laugh. A tear trickles down her cheek before she wipes it with crook of her elbow. She shakes her head. Abeni waits. By the time she speaks, they're a block away from the clinic. She purposefully slows down the car to give the girl time.

"My ex-boyfriend broke up with me to date my cousin."

"That's one hell of a sentence."

She laughs. Abeni likes her laugh. It is loud enough to make her a witch. "I guess it is."

"Are you and your cousin close?"

"We were like sisters." Her voice catches on the last word. Leah groans and sniffles. "It's fucked. Sorry."

"No need."

"I walked in on them at the hospital. She got mauled by a bear or something. When I went to check on her, there they were kissing."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Mhm."

"That's really some shit," Abeni chuckles disbelievingly. "And let me guess. You were the last one to know."

"My brother says no one wanted to be the one to tell me. Which is just fucking-"

Abeni thinks of the car with the blown engine and how her tire had a boot shaped hole in it. It makes sense. "Trash."

"Yeah. It's fucking trash."

They're close enough that Abeni can see the outline of her sister standing outside the clinic. Her arms folded and her scrub uniform standing out amongst the greens of her surrounding. She honks her horn as is their routine and Delphine furrows her brows at the woman in the passenger seat. The bags under her eyes hidden behind a layer of concealer but puffy enough to be noticeable if you knew what to look for. Noticing Leah's gaze, she puts on a smile. The fake one she usually gives when she's too tired to show her teeth. She pops open the back door and slides in.

"Delphine, this is Leah, Sue's daughter. I invited her over for breakfast."

"You told umi that?"

She glances at her sister in the rearview manner. "It's a surprise."

"We all just love your surprises," Delphine remarks sarcastically. "Are you the newest girlfriend, Leah?"

"Really, Deli?"

"I told you don't call me that." 

"You can't just ask people-"

"It's a normal thing to ask! What? Lesbians can't be asked questions."

"No, we can't," Abeni snaps. "She's a _friend_. Not every girl I bring home is a girlfriend, you know?"

_Some of them have just broken up with their shitty boyfriends and need a break._

She spares a glance at Leah. Her face is turned away, but the corner of her lip is upturned in what Abeni can guess is a smile. Delphine chooses then to lean forward in her seat. She taps Leah's shoulder and Leah turns. If Delphine is shocked by the tear-stricken girl, she doesn't show it. Instead, she smiles that same tight-lipped smile.

"I promise I'm not usually this bitchy or homophobic."

Leah cocks an eyebrow and gives Delphine a teasing smirk. "Usually?"

"Call her out, Leah!"

The drive home is filled with short quips and laughter. Abeni thinks for a moment that that's what she loves about her sister. No matter how bitchy or angry, the Brown girls have a way of making people feel at home without feeling forced. Maybe, it's the glamour their mama puts on their makeup, but Leah takes to them easy. Delphine babbles onto the two about the trouble with her patients and every now and then, Leah would pipe up that she knew that man or didn't like the other. ' _Derek is a dick. I dated him in Pre-K,'_ and Delphine would cackle her witch's cackle. The tight-lipped smile long gone from her face. She's still suspicious -- she wouldn't be Delphine if she wasn't-- but Abeni knows she can sniff a mental breakdown from a mile away and so, she doesn't say anything. 

By the time they pull up to their tiny house, Abeni has forgotten she hasn't told her mom about Leah. She doesn't remember until they open the door and her mother looks up from her place on the couch. Her faces flashes the seven stages of grief before she smiles. Unlike Delphine, her smile isn't a tight-lipped one. It stretches across her face. 

The first thing Leah notices is how colorful the house is. The walls are dyed a vivid orange and the doorways adorned with thick curtains. The second thing is how the richness of the home isn't one of wealth, but of warmth. It reminds her of her home in that way, only with more smells. 

Fatima, Abeni's mother, is a short woman like her daughters. Her nose is crooked as if being broken too many times and her hair hidden under a bright yellow scarf. It strikes Leah that her face looks like Emily in the hospital bed, like it's been touched by violent hands. 

"Hey, mom. This is Leah. She'll be eating with us."

"And she's _not_ Abeni's girlfriend," her sister says. She winks at Leah. "In case, there was any confusion."

Delphine moves upstairs.

"You're not going to eat?" Her mother calls. 

"Save me a plate," Delphine replies.

"I'm Fatima." Abeni's mother doesn't wait for Leah to say hi. She wraps her in a hug, only pulling back to reach her hand high and pull a stray strand behind her ear. "Thank you for bringing my daughter home."

"Oh, I didn't," begins Leah, but Abeni is quick to whisper to her mother in Arabic and Fatima responds back fast, not unkindly. It is a confusing conversation filled with eye rolls and at the last moment, a nod of understanding. Fatima leaves. Leah catches Abeni's eye and she shrugs apologetically.

"You can sit with me in the living room. She won't let us help."

"You don't have to apologize," she says quickly, almost wincing at how harsh the words sound. "Thank you for everything."

Leah thought she'd be halfway to Seattle by now. Not taken in by a random girl and her family or sitting in a beautiful home. 

Abeni simply shrugs. "No biggie."

"So, you're going to Forks? You excited?"

Abeni's mouth scrunched up in a distasteful frown. "It's hella white so, no." 

Leah smiles despite herself. The honesty is refreshing. "Where you from?"

"New York."

Leah had never been to the east coast before. When she was younger, she used to dream of applying to a school there and getting lost in the big city. _'Now that Sam's out of the picture, I can,'_ she thinks bitterly. He always preferred life on the rez. She always wanted more and she had convinced herself she could find it in him.

"New York? And you chose to come here?"

Leah misses the way Abeni's eyes dart to the kitchen. Her laughter is all light. Carefree. "Wasn't really a choice. I'm kind of too reckless for the east coast. Mom thought it'd be better for all of us if we stayed with my sister while I calmed down."

Now, that's interesting. Leah raises her eyebrows and nods. "But did you calm down? I mean, you _did_ pick up a random girl and bring her home."

"And you kicked your tire so hard you made it flat. I guess we're on the same level."

At first, it catches Leah by surprise mostly, because the girl sitting next to her is smiling. People didn't match Leah in sass. Seth whined. Leah never sassed her mom. Her dad and Sam laughed, but people didn't match her. And if they did, it was with a scowl or a barely repressed ' _We're sick of your shit'_ sigh. Only Emily ever really bantered with her and she-

Quickly, the girl's face turns worried. "I'm sorry. Was that too much?"

"No," Leah says. She smiles, but she knows it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "No, it was funny."

Abeni looks like she doesn't believe her. Leah lets out a breathe she didn't know she was holding when she changes the topic regardless. It isn't long before they're eating on the couch; one of Fatima's soaps play on their TV. A man and a woman dressed lavishly stare dramatically at the camera and cry. Abeni pauses inbetween bites to tell Leah what they're saying. The Browns don't have a dinner table. Abeni remarks that they can't afford one, before her mother sends her a withering gaze. And then, it's Leah's turn to babble on about how her family couldn't afford a dining room table until her father carved one from the trees in their backyard. Abeni seems grateful. Fatima says nothing.

When they're finished and Leah has somehow convinced Fatima to let her clean the dishes, Abeni watches her or to be more specific, she watches her hands. It is when her heart line stands, dark and broken, against the bronze of her skin that Fatima finally remembers. There's a beautiful girl in her kitchen, yes, but she's here for a reason. Heartbreak, being one. Her shitty ex, being another.

"So, my plan for the day was to go herb-hunting," she begins. 

"Herb-hunting?"

"I gotta grab weed from this drug dealer. White boy from Port Angelas," she whispers. Then, louder. "I go to the woods and gather some herbs and plants, too. It's fun."

Leah's mouth is half-pursed, half-smile. She blinks. Once. Twice. "What?"

"I can drop you off at home or wherever you wanna be- except a motel. Don't. I saw your eyes. Or you can come with me."

She dries her hands on one of the rags. "Is this what calming down looks like for you?"

Abeni thinks of how she had killed her father and spent the whole year on some sort of manic high; practicing sex magic and running away for days on end. The past month in Forks she baked, smoked weed in the woods, and visited the women's shelter. She didn't really have a choice in the matter, but she guessed it was calm.

"Yeah," she says. "You coming?"

"Sure."

* * *

"You herb-hunt like a white girl." Leah wraps her hands around Abeni's, stopping her from plucking another plant whole. Her hands are rough and dry and a bit calloused. They make Abeni shiver. "You only need the important parts."

"What if the important part is the root?" She manages to choke out.

She laughs, removing her hand from Abeni's. "Doesn't matter. If you take too much, the earth'll get mad."

They're high. Leah's higher than Abeni. She cried earlier because a tree reminded her of the shape of her ex-boyfriend's ass. _'Square and flat?'_ Abeni had asked and Leah had punched her shoulder so hard it still ached if she moved too fast. 

Abeni would be lying if she didn't say hanging out with someone her age was a relief. 

The only sound that could be heard was the crunching of leaves underneath their boots. Occasionally, an animal would wander by or they'd stumble on giant wolf prints, but the forest was so peaceful, Abeni didn't think much of them. The crack of wood. The rustling of bushes. She breathes deeply and sighs. "Nature's so beautiful."

Leah grins. "Fuck yeah."

"So, we have to go there-" She points up a hill. "-for the wolfsbane."

"Isn't that poisonous?"

"It's like garlic for werewolves."

"I mean, poisonous for _real_ people, Abeni. Like you and me."

Abeni frowns, purposefully sidestepping the question. "Werewolves are real people. They're not like the lochness monster. They breathe and shit."

"Are you saying the lochness monster doesn't _breathe_?"

"It's a fish!"

"Fish breathe water."

They bicker like that as they walk. Abeni finds that Leah has a habit of arguing. All her comments bite. Like she's looking for a flaw, an excuse to shut Abeni out and push her away. Or maybe, Abeni reads too deeply into things. It can go either way.

Abeni doesn't want to explain why she needs wolfsbane. It's one thing to tell someone you practice magic. Another thing entirely to say you live in fear your father will come back from the dead. It's a clusterfuck of PTSD she doesn't have time to think about, much less explain.

The sun is beating down directly overhead by the time they reach the peek of the tiny mountain. The wolfsbane is hidden in the crook of a rock like the books said. The flowers are just beginning to bloom a vivid purple against the bleakness of well, everything. Abeni crouches down, not close, but close enough, and Leah follows.

"If you were a flower, I think you'd be wolfsbane," comments Leah.

Unfazed, Abeni continues to put on her gloves. "Why?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "Just a vibe."

Abeni carefully takes a few plant bulbs and puts them in their own seperate bag. She takes the gloves off, making sure they don't touch her skin, and discard them in the same bag before tying it in a knot and placing that bag inside another uncontaminated bag. She can't risk it touching skin.

She feels him before she sees him. Immediately, she's standing and staring into the bushes. A man, tall and shirtless, walks through the trees. Abeni becomes statue. Her shoulders tense together and her hand goes to hover above her pocket where the knife is. It's almost like the high disappears in the tension that comes with his presence. She glances at Leah and she's all seriousness. She's slower to stand. Her brows furrowed together and her lips pulled down in a frown.

Glancing rapidly between the two, it doesn't take much to gather that they know each-other.

"Why the fuck are you here, Sam?"

""You can't just leave like that. The whole rez is looking for you. Your parents thought you were kidnapped," He speaks with such authority and conviction. _Apologize. Apologize for what you did,_ he seems to say. 

"After everything, you really think you can fucking scold me," she spits. 

"Leah-"

" I don't even know why my parents sent you."

"I chose to come."

"Like that makes it better." Her words are all venom and pain.

He winces. It's a while before he speaks.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Lee-lee," he says quietly.

 _'This is the ex-boyfriend,'_ Abeni thinks. ' _And he's calling her a cute nickname after fucking her cousin.'_ Sometimes, Abeni just really hated men. 

"That's bullshit," she remarks without much thought. He looks at her for the first time. The small-town confusion apparent on his face as his eyes scan her. His eyes decide to settle on her thin plastic bag. 

"Who are you?"

"Does it matter? I think she wants you to leave."

She's all adrenaline and nerves. He stares at her and Abeni does her best to stare back. Eventually, he breaks eye contact. He turns to leave, glancing over his shoulder at Leah as he does so.

"I'll tell your family you're alright."

And then he's gone. It isn't long before Leah's sobbing. Without words, Abeni stands on her tip-toes to scoop Leah's head into her shoulder; the other girl's sobs shaking both of them violently. The bags of herbs long discarded on the floor. The event makes Abeni extremely grateful she doesn't like men. She doesn't think she has the heart for the amount of pain they cause. 

Leah doesn't pull away when she speaks. Abeni swears she can feel her smiling into her collarbone

"Are you... are you standing on your tippy toes?" Her breathe is warm against Abeni's neck. She pulls back, an incredulous grin on her face, and looks down. Abeni flattens her feet quickly.

It's her turn to avoid Leah's gaze. "I was trying to comfort you."

She laughs softly and shakes her head. "Thank you."

The silence between them is comforting as they move to leave the forest. Leah only asks her to take her home and Abeni agrees. Neither one of them aware of the wolves watching them from a distance, waiting for them to pull off and leave. In the moments between the forest and Leah's house, it is only two girls sitting in their trauma. One trauma, new, and the other, having festered for too long.

"Can we do this again?" Abeni says without looking at her. They've just pulled up to her house. A boy sits on the porch steps, staring. "Hang out, I mean. Our next adventure can be me reading your palm."

"You read palms?"

"Yeah." Abeni thought of the dark heart line of Leah's palm. She was itching to see what else the girl's future said. "You can come over tomorrow."

Leah hovers on the car door. "I have school. Senior year. My mom will kill me if I skip," she added. "Can I come over Friday?"

"Sure."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remembering is painful.

It's unnatural being reborn and remembering. Abeni likes to think this is why her other life bleeds into her dreams so often. All the dreaming ends with her death. At first, it would only happen every few days of the month - the time when the moon was waxing or full - but in Forks, it's an every-day nightmare. How many times had she woken up in the middle of the night to her mother or sister leaning over her bed? How many days did she spend drifting here and there?

"Did you dream of killing him?" They'd ask and she'd say 'yes' so quickly. She finds her family prefers her to be haunted by what she did and so, she likes to give them a show. She spent the months in-between her father's death and her arrival to Forks in some sort of frenzy. She disappeared; spent her days practicing sex magic and getting tattoos. One of a snake eating it's tail to commemorate her 'resurrection'. Another of the date he died. 

Is it bad? She often wondered before. Is it bad to feel relieved that he's dead? He was an ugly, abusive man. If he lived, she knew her 'mother' would live a life without freedom, but _didn't she deserve at least, that much?_ It didn't take her long to decide she did and they do. Fatima deserved freedom. Abeni deserved a better second life than one spent locked in her apartment.

And then, there's the question of why. Why is she here? Why not a different body or different girl? Why did she remember when most people forgot? Somedays, she likes to entertain the thought that she's some vengeful reincarnation of the Dalai Llama - this thought always disappears when she remembers in every life she's lived he's still alive. She gets a headache when she asks this question, a feeling akin to standing up too fast. Her vision gets blurred and her words slurred. Sometimes, she'll test how deeply she can think about the mechanisms of living, of her other life, and interpreting the dreams before she throws up. Every time, she pushes the edge a bit farther.

In her other life, she was gay. Witches existed, but they existed in a world of muffled magic. It only took a few studying sessions here for Abeni to master death. Here, her sister excels at work - not because she's exceptional - but because she prays to the ancestors every night. Her mother can enchant any man into falling for her. In this life, she still has the scar from how she died. It's a different scar in this life; from one of the many times her father forgot himself. It looks the same as she remembers from her dreams- a mangled burn on her thigh. 

Healing isn't her reason for existing. Recklessness and selfishness run too deep in her heart for that. There is something that changes when he dies like her piece and a million others shift to make space for the new reality. There's Forks and a new school and her her mom's new job as a waitress. She likes to think one of those moving pieces is Leah.

Over the weeks, her and Leah's friendship is one filled with biting remarks and deep conversations. One moment, they'll be arguing about something absolutely _stupid_ like what to eat and the next, they'll discuss the struggles that come with being indigenous or a lesbian. On some level, Abeni knows friendship is supposed to have this flexibility. That doesn't stop her from being surprised when Leah calls her or invites herself over when they cook - she bikes the couple miles from her house to Abeni's. She doesn't like to be home. Loving Leah is a quick thing. Becoming her friend is like breathing. It doesn't help that after school ends, they spend almost every week together. 

"They say the shorter the fingers, the more stubborn you are," she says to Leah one day. She craddles the other girl's hand in her palm.

"Who says that?"

"I do." She ignores Leah's snort. "And it says here that you have a quick temper and are very stubborn."

Leah scowls. "You're only saying that because you know me."

"You're gonna live a long life, but see here... it's straight which means you have a hard time trusting people. And it's broken which means your life is gonna change in some dramatic way. And this-" She traced Leah's heart line with her finger, slowly and purposefully."-you'll have heartbreak, a big one."

Leah doesn't say anything. She is quick to slip her hand out and grab Abeni's hand gently with hers. "Lemme see."

She opens Abeni's hand and stares down at the palm. Her brows furrow together in concentration. 

"This is bullshit. You can't-"

"Shut up. I'm concentrating." Leah nods and makes a soft sound in her throat. "Hm. It says here you don't do any hard work-"

"Fuck off!"

"- see that." Her calloused hand rubs Abeni's soft one. "Squishy."

"I do things with my hands," she says sharply.

Leah cocks an eyebrow, a challenge written across her face. "Like what?"

"Fuck," Abeni responds plainly, not breaking eye contact. 

She frowns, dropping Abeni's hand quickly as if stung or bit. "You're disgusting."

This is their routine. Leah comes over. They get high, go hiking, or rent movies from the library. Sometimes, Leah will watch Abeni mutter simple spells over the food she bakes. She calls it 'helping'. Abeni's family send food home with Leah. Repeat. Repeat. Besides the magic on her fingertips, the consistency of it is all enough for Abeni to forget that not even a year before she had ran away. Maybe, her mother forgets, too. She looks happy and even her cautious sister smiles more.

It takes a trip to the women's shelter for that to change. Going to the women's shelter in Port Angelas is part reminder, part healing. She goes every week and hides protection spells for the families who live there in jewelry and bottles. Magic didn't protect her family until it wanted to, but she hopes it'll do these families better.

Every day she went before had been sunny. A blessing, she thinks, that ends too soon. The overcast drops the temperature a few degrees - the clouds seem heavy with rain. As she hops out of her sister's car, her bag clicks and clanks with all her gifts. She waves her sister off as she drives away. It's not a Sunday. 

She cracks open the door, making sure to shut it softly when she enters. The dark-haired woman at the front desk, Maria, smiles at her warmly. At first, Abeni always suspected she was gay - a quick fingering session in the back of Maria's car proved her point - and she reasoned it was in the way Maria carried herself. From the first day, her eyes lingered too long on Abeni's physique. Them fucking had done little to change that.

She points a freshly manicured finger at Abeni's bags.

"Did you finally bring me something?" She walks around the front desk.

Abeni smirks. "Was I supposed to?"

The response is swift. She pretends to wipe an imaginary tear from her eye. " Shelly was wondering when you were gonna come in today. She wants you to meet Rosalie." She says the name with a sneer. 

Rosalie. Rosalie. Rosalie. The name belongs to the only other Forks girl who came to the shelter, the daughter of a rich doctor who donated the place the organization used for their Port Angelas location which made sense - Abeni thought it was a little too ritzy to be something a non-profit could've scavenged up for themselves. It was definitely nicer than anything her family had ever stayed in. Rosalie never came in when Abeni was there. It was an ordeal really. Every day Abeni went in, Shelly would comment that she had just missed her. Abeni was starting to think she was a joke.

"Oh. She's real, then?" Abeni places her bags in the donation bin. Maria rolls her eyes.

"More than real," she mutters. She returns to her place behind the desk. "You'll know her when you see her. Wait here. I'll call Shelly down."

"Why don't you just call Rosalie?"

"She wouldn't come if I did."

_They must have beef._

A quick call later and Shelly came in the room huffing. She reminds Abeni of a mother and she probably is, Abeni never thought to ask. She's always all smiles.

"I was wondering when you'd be coming in. Didn't I ask you, Maria?" Her Southern accent is thick and noticeable whenever she has a longer day than usual.

"You sure did."

Shelly looks at the new addition to the donation bin. "You spoil us." She leans in to Abeni. "Rosalie's here. You've just got to meet her. I told her all about you and how you help us out. She don't have much friends in that small town."

She leads Abeni through the rooms, excitedly, practically buzzing. In another life, Abeni was sure she was a matchmaker or community leader. She loves matching women in the shelter with others she thinks they might like. It's a beautiful quality - one Abeni admires her for. 

And that was when, she sees her. Her first thought is, '*There are too many unnaturally beautiful women here*. There are a total of two now. Leah and this woman. It's all too much all at once.

Her second thought is _'Wow'_. 

The woman doesn't look anything like Leah. At least it is some comfort to realize she doesn't have a type. Her blonde hair falls on her shoulders in waves. Her skin pale - paler than anyone she had seen in this overcast town-- and she has a hint of blush on her cheeks. She could be a model. She looks rich enough to buy the whole place. She could move down to LA and have a career immediately, but no. She's here in this small town at this shelter and she's helping.

A thought nags at the back of Abeni's head. She cann't tell if Rosalie was actually gorgeous or if her whiteness filled in the gaps where beauty should be. The thought seems to dim her, make her unnatural. Painful in how perfect she is.

Shelly beams at Abeni. "Isn't she a doll?"

The blonde is too far away to hear, but she looks at them as if they had called her name. It's a brief moment. Her gaze meets Abeni's before she returns to speaking to the woman beside her.

Not waiting for Abeni's response, Shelly begins walking in their direction. "I would call her over, but you remember, we don't like to yell. Some of the women are a bit sensitive to loud noises."

Shelly has a bad habit of overexplaining and repeating herself. It's something a lot of women who been abused do.

"I get that."

Rosalie stands when they arrives. Abeni scans her face - looking for a flaw or some indication that this person is real - and finds nothing. She's all soft lines and femininity. "Hello, Shelly." 

Her voice is light, neutral almost. It doesn't sound particularly outstanding to Abeni, but something about it pulls her in regardless. She frowns. 

That wasn't right.

"Abeni is new in Forks." Shelly's hand hovers just above her shoulder, not touching her. "And you know, I was so excited when she came, I thought,'Oh! A new friend for Rosalie! I-" Someone calls Shelly's name and she frowns. She curses under her breathe - leaving Abeni as quickly as she came and without another word.

Abeni feels _nervous._ Her head is beginning to pound as if she is thinking of things she shouldn't be thinking of. This isn't right. 

"What's your last name?" She asks.

"Hale," she answers curtly. 

Abeni shakes her head. "That's your dad's last name, too?"

She squints her eyes, but Abeni doesn't have time for prissy rich girls and their slights. "His name is Carlisle Cullen."

 _Oh._ The name rings painfully familiar in her head. She rolls it around in her mind. Cullen. Where did she know that name? It's from another life, but everyone has names. Humans aren't exactly prolific. Why is this one significant? 

"I think I know you," she says finally.

The girl freezes. It's so small that anyone else wouldn't have noticed it. "You must have me confused with someone else," she responds.

But Abeni knew her. Her brain is screaming. Red lights blare in her head. A warning sign. Don't ask questions. Stop talking. She fingers the protection charm around her neck and glances around the room. There are too many people for this to be dangerous. She shouldn't be afraid.

"Doubt it. People who look like you are rare," She tries to laugh, but winces instead. Wrong thing to say. "My name's Abeni."

"Shelly told me."

Abeni laughs dryly. "Did she say it the way I do?"

The woman's lip quirks up slightly. Abeni makes the mistake of thinking it might be a smile, but it quickly turns into a sneer. "I suppose not."

She's guarded, still staring at her suspiciously. _'She doesn't want to be known,'_ Abeni thinks. _'She's hiding something.'_ Abeni breathes deeply, clutches the little jar around her neck in a tight grip. There's a thread connecting this woman to her past life. Cullen. It hurts too much to not have meaning. Her vision blurs. 

"Good talk." And she's gone. Her head is screaming. Yelling. She heads to the front office, faster than her feet can carry her, away from her. Maria sits in her chair as always. She holds the phone in her hand when Abeni appears, her brows quirked together in worry.

"Are you alright?"

The ground speeds at her faster than she can process. Passing out isn't nearly as dramatic as people make it out to be. Maybe for others, but for Abeni it's quick. She sees Maria, the ground, and then, nothing. She disappears.

* * *

"You see a pretty girl and you faint? Is that what we're doing now?" Delphine arrives at the shelter an hour after Abeni wakes up. Abeni hadn't told her the details, but she didn't need to. All it took was a glance at Rosalie Hale for her to know.  


Abeni hates being gay. When she woke up, it had been a huge ordeal. Rosalie had looked positively furious and Maria had been a huge ball of worry. Maria and Shelly took turns doting on her until her sister arrived. Everyone except her sister believed her when she said she fainted because she hadn't eaten that much. They had fed her the scraps from the kitchen; blueberry muffins and orange juice left-over from breakfast. Abeni ate it and the whole time Rosalie stared at her like she knew somehow that Abeni was lying.

It was unnerving to say the least.

"Do you know the Cullens?" Abeni asks, eager for a change of subject. The moment the words drop off her lips, her head throbs just the slightest. _'Tread carefully,'_ she reminds herself.

Her sister sucks her teeth. "I know two things. They're rich and the Quileutes don't like them."

Abeni cocks an eyebrow. "The Quileutes? Like the whole tribe?"

"Yes."

"You're tellling me a whole town don't like this one fam," Abeni says slowly.

"I'm not being racist."

"I didn't say you were."

"You implied," her sister snaps. 

"Did they tell you why?"

Delphine shakes her head. "Me and the other nurses have an agreement. I don't ask about their secrets and they don't ask me about mine. Ask Leah. I'm sure your girlfriend won't be eager to know you fainted over some other chick, but she might tell you."

She debates telling her sister Leah's not her girlfriend for the hundredth time. It's not worth it, she decides. They drive the rest of the way home in silence. Delphine drops her off and quickly speeds down the street with a simple goodbye. Abeni tries not to take it to heart. Her sister has patients and they desperately need the money, but there's a swollen knot where her forehead should be. She sighs.

As soon as she gets inside, she plops on their kitchen counter and dials the Clearwater number. She kicks her feet back and forth while she waits.

"Leah?" She says as soon as the phone stops ringing.

"This is Sue. May I ask who's calling?" Abeni had never met Sue. She only knew her from the handful of times she answered the phone. 

"Hi, Mrs. Clearwater. It's Abeni."

"Abeni," Sue repeats. Abeni can hear faintly the sound of someone else saying her name in the background. "When will you be coming over? I'd love to put a face to the person my daughter spends so much time with."

She doesn't want to open up that can of worms.

"It's all up to Leah," she says. Better to defer the responsibility to someone who could handle that question.

"Is it?" She doesn't wait for a response. "How about you come over tomorrow night? You can bring your sister and your mom. We'll be having a party at our house."

_Fuck me._

"I don't wanna intrude."

"You won't," Sue says with a hint of finality. "Here's Leah."

"Hey," says Leah quickly. She sounds a little out of breathe. "Sorry about that."

"It's no problem. Listen, I have a question."

"Shoot."

"What do you know about the Cullens?"

There's a long pause. Abeni can practically picture Leah on the phone, biting her lip like she always does when she's thinking too hard. "Leah?"

"Everyone knows the Cullens," she says. 

"Yes, but I asked what do _you_ \- emphasis on you - know about the Cullens."

"They're rich and white," she offers.

Abeni hates Leah.

"Oh wow. I couldn't tell."

"What the fuck you want me to say? I've never seen them. They don't come to the rez."

"Has anyone ever said why?" Abeni winces, ignoring the throbbing behind her right eye. Her irritation overthrowing the pain. 

"Does it matter?" 

Abeni sighs. She counts to three in her head before she speaks. It's obvious from the way Leah sidesteps the questions that she's hiding something. Between the headache and well, _Leah_ , Abeni doesn't have the patience to figure out what. "Delphine said you guys don't like them."

"You guys like my family or-"

"No, you guys like the Quileute tribe," Abeni interrupts.

"Really? All 2,000 of us don't like the Cullens," Leah laughs. "You make us sound like a cult. It's old beef, Bee. Drop it."

"So, there's beef between them and-"

"I'm hanging up."

"No, wait. Please," she whines. When she can still hear Leah's breathing, she smiles. "I'm hanging up first."

And she clicks the line before the girl can protest. _'That's what she gets for being so rude.'_ Abeni runs upstairs to collapse on her bed in the room she shares with her sister. It's a twin bed, but it's enough of a cushion that when her body connects with the mattress, it feels like a cloud. Her head, despite her better judgement, swims with questions. Why is Rosalie so pale? What is the connection between the Cullens and her past life? What isn't she supposed to know?

With every question, her head throbs and the bile gathers in her throat. Abeni closes her eyes and decides to do the only thing she feels will help the situation. She forces herself to dream. 

Dreaming proves difficult. For what feels like forever, her body tugs violently inbetween sleeping and keeping her awake. She focuses on her breathing - the soft way her body relaxes - and that is what finally lulls her.

She's in a bed, but it's not her bed. Four men surround her laughing and she can't move. the panic immediately settles in her chest. This is always how dreaming begins. Only this time she knows she's asleep. Slowly, the men begin to freeze. Their mouths stuck half-open. She almost laughs. They look like beasts. Curiously, she pictures a match in her hands. _'This isn't what's supposed to happen,'_ something inside her whispers. She ignores it.

Dreaming is like magic. It's thick and moldable. The fire rages around her, not touching anything. Not touching her. Only the men burn.

The world shifts and she's in a living room, sitting on a couch. A brown-skinned woman curls up against her chest. Abeni can't see her face, but she knows she's beautiful. It's a fact of this world and this dream. Abeni is in love. Netflix is on the screen. Her heart fills with warmth, a longing for something that isn't hers any longer

"I don't want to watch this," she hears herself say.

The woman sighs as if they've had this conversation millions of times. "It's not a choice."

She presses play and the movie shifts. A deer runs through the forest as a man's voice monologues. ' _No.'_ Again, the same voice whispers. Even as she tries to cling to the dream, her body fades back into feeling. Her arms. Her legs. The puddle of drool by her mouth. Someone shakes her.

"Fuck off," she groans.

She can still feel the women's hair against her. Soft and pillowy. If she tries, she can just... ignore reality. Slip back in.

"You weren't supposed to go to sleep! God, can't you listen for a fucking-" 

Abeni's head smacks against something hard.

"Shit."

She opens her eyes groggily. Her head is throbbing. She can't tell if that's because she was pushing too roughly or because she's on the floor when she's supposed to be in the bed. She lifts her head and sure enough, there's her sister. She looks like a fish.

"Are you okay?"

"Why am I on the fucking floor?"

"I told you that you're not supposed to sleep when you have a concussion." The words are rushed. Abeni has to blink repeatedly to decipher their meaning. Her sister used to get like this when they lived together, too. All worry. No semblance of rational thought in that pretty brain. 

"You pushed me on the fucking floor."

"If you sleep, you can die."

Abeni sits up, rubbing her head. The knot is still there. Dreaming is the key, she realizes. She'll have to dream her way into getting rid of the headache and vomit. Dream her way into remembering. Fuck.

She peers up at Delphine. Delphine's still staring, but she no longer looks worried. She looks annoyed. Pissed, maybe. "Have you been sleeping since you got home?"

"No, I talked to Leah for a bit."

Delphine mutters something under her breathe that sounds suspiciously like an 'of course'.

"Sue invited us over tomorrow by the way," Abeni stretches as she stands.

"Invited?"

"More like demanded, but yeah. All of us." She listens for the familiar sound of people chattering in Arabic. The house is eerily quiet. The light from outside having already dimmed into twilight. "Where's mom?"

Delphine shrugs. "Outside doing a spell. Protecting us from demons, she said."

"Sexy."

Abeni does her own spell later that night when her family finally goes to sleep. She does a spell of truth, a spell of revealing. The candle she lights in the bathroom won't light at first. Every attempt ends with it being smothered. Eventually, she discards the candle in the trash. It's an omen. A sign that there's blockage stopping her spell from flourishing. She'll be damned to let that stop her.

She makes do with her fingers. She turns on the shower, focuses her mind on what she wants. A simple prayer, she ends with a quiet orgasm on the tiled floor.

* * *

Leah's bedroom is nice. Abeni only saw bedrooms like this in her dreams and on TV. It's not that it's big. Her bedroom is small and her bed, a simple twin. What amazes Abeni is that the room is hers and hers alone. Abeni can't recall a time where she hadn't shared a room with her sister or her mom on the nights she was too afraid of her dad to go to their bedroom. 

Her bedroom walls are a pale green, adorned with pictures of Leah and friends. Some pictures are artwork which shocks Abeni a bit. She didn't know Leah could draw. She grabs the corner of one painting; a girl in the shape of a blue flower. A blue-flower that looks too vivid for the browns and blacks of the girl's skin.

"Does it get lonely?" She asks. She sits on the bed, moves away from the painting. 

Leah looks at her funny. "Does what get lonely?"

"Having the room all to yourself."

She pouts in the slightest, shaking her head. "I think I'd lose my mind if I had to share a room with Seth."

"He's a sweetie."

Leah just shakes her head again.

It had taken approximately five hours for Abeni's family to get ready for Sue's event. Abeni spent two of those hours picking out a outfit. She decides on a bandeau top and flared jeans. 2000's fashion is miserable. The rest was spent cooking. Fatima liked to cook her feelings out and her daughters were more than willing to oblige. They made rosemary garlic bread, collard greens, mashed potatoes, anything and everything their car could carry.

There were so many people when they arrived. Leah immediately grabbed Abeni and dragged her upstairs, leaving the rest of Abeni's family to the wolves.

"You know my sister is probably gonna think we're fucking." She hopes her voice doesn't sound too hopeful. She'd be lying if she didn't admit a part of her was attracted to Leah, that her sister's words about Leah being her girlfriend didn't get to her. 

While internally monologuing, she misses the way Leah's eyes widen. She crosses her legs in her place beside Abeni on the bed. She shrugs when Abeni looks at her, averting her gaze to the window. 

"We can mingle if you want to."

"No," Abeni says quickly, smiling. "It's fun. Maybe, she'll tell people."

Leah half-laughs half-groans. "I can picture the rumors. Harry Clearwater's daughter gets her heartbroken and becomes a lesbian."

"Runs away with her girlfriend to pursue her art career." Abeni gestures to the blue painting. "I didn't know you could draw."

Leah looks at her hands. "You know now."

She stands abruptly - it shakes Abeni to realize she's so much _taller_ than her when she's sitting- and cocks her head towards the door. "Let's go downstairs."

Abeni follows. She scruches her nose. "Is it because of the gay thing?"

Leah forces out a laugh. "Shut up. Of course not. I'm hungry."

Down the stairs, Abeni can see her mother in the kitchen with Sue. Delphine sits with the men, an unimpressed expression stuck on her face. She raises her eyebrows at Abeni. Before her lip can lift in a smile, Abeni rolls her eyes and turns away.

They grab food. They head outside. Three boys stand by the bonfire in their backyard. The fire fans their face, licking and twisting around them. One boy stands starkly from the rest. He's tall - his hair pulled back into a bun ontop his head - and he looks familiar. Painfully familiar.

"Who's that?" She whispers to Leah.

"Jacob Black. He's Billy's son." 

_Jacob Black_. Her head throbs a warning sign. She's sure she'll have an aneurysm. She blinks and nods - following Leah to sit by the fire. They settle into silence as they begin eating. The food is almost enough of a distraction. Abeni doesn't think. She focuses on the fire. The warmth of it. Even, the sounds of the chattering around her becomes a dull hum. 

The realization dawns on her then. It's August. School starts in a week. She'll have to see Rosalie at school. She'll have to be at school with Rosalie and the headaches will only get worse because Abeni doesn't know how to control her curiosity, because her ritual will only make the truth come out one way or another. 

"Bee." Leah's voice snaps her back. She mumbles a soft 'hm' and turns towards her friend.

"Sam's here. Can we-" Abeni's already moving. There's a palpable tension she hadn't noticed before. It's thick. The other boys around the fire are all laughs - their eyes darting between Sam and Leah with every hug and hello. Leah grabs her forearm, gently tugs her back down to the ground.

"We're not leaving," she says. "If you let me finish I would've asked you to not cause a scene."

Abeni scoffs. "Why would I cause a scene?"

Leah levels her with a look. In turn, Abeni rolls her eyes. Sam is followed closely by two other boys. They're all muscular, equally annoying in that the testosterone radiating off of them is enough to make Abeni gag. She glances around. There's more people outside than when her and Leah had gotten there. She catches Sam's gaze and purposefully smirks.

"Bitch," she mouths. To her disappointment, he doesn't take the bait. "You should let me curse him."

"No."

"It'll be a simple one like make his hair red or his balls blue."

"No," she says forcefully. Leah isn't looking at her. Her eyes are trained on the fire, watching the flame lick and spit. 

If she were to tell Abeni the truth, she'd say she didn't want to hurt him. It hurt more to see Sam existing than any curse she put on him could ever compare. She sighs and leans into her friend, scooting her butt to the side in order to lay her head on Abeni's shoulder. 

"You're so fucking short," she groans.

"If I'm so short, get off me then," Abeni half-heartedly shoves her. 

Despite herself, she smiles. In the warmth of the fire with Abeni, she can pretend Sam isn't here. Gone are her obligations. Gone is the heavy weight on her shoulders that she'll soon have to go to college and decide what to do with her life. She's not Harry Clearwater's daughter. She's Leah.

For Abeni, that's enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in the summer before New Moon. Originally, I was going to have it take place at the same time that Bella goes to school BUT New Moon is when the pack gets formed so there you go. We'll see how that comes into play with her and Rosalie ;).
> 
> I'm not betraying canon too much I promise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, Abeni puts the pieces together bit by bit.

Somewhere in-between Leah learning she wants to leave the reservation and dropping out of college, her father gets sick. She tries not to think of it as a big deal. She chose Penninsula College because she wanted to stay home, but with her world crumbling around her, the short 30 minute drive wasn't enough of a distance. When Sam broke up with her, she entertained the thought of pulling a Black (term coined because both the Black sisters left without a second look back) and fucking off to New Mexico or California. Somewhere _far_ , but not far enough that she couldn't drive home if her family needed her. Then, it was her listening to Abeni's tales of New York City and shifting her getaway ideas to there. She had it all planned out. Abeni would take her to Harlem. She'd get a job working as a waitress or something simple and send her family back the extra coin she made. Her and Abeni would rent a little 2 bedroom apartment before what Abeni called _'gentrification'_ could settle in and they'd be happy. she never told Abeni this. Things always had a habit of changing when you spoke them too loudly. She kept this fantasy tight and firm against her chest.

Then, her father got sick. _'Sick'_ sounded better than cancer. She realized she didn't really like concrete. The thought of all those buildings and no grass to dig her toes in made her nauseous. She needed trees to roam through and an ocean to stare at. She dropped out of Peninsula College shortly after her mom told them. She didn't want to admit it, but rejecting college to help her family sounded way better than rejecting college because her boyfriend dumped her. Her parents didn't care much. They repeated the words 'we're proud of you no matter what' over and over, tightening the noose each time they comforted her. Her other friends gave her those sympathetic eyes people give when they think they understand. The whole time she couldn't stop herself from thinking that if Sam were there.... not there, but if she still were talking to him, he would've held her tight and took her to her favorite place under the stars. 

_'You'll see the same sky here that you would've seen at some fancy college,'_ he would've said. He wouldn't have pretended to understand. Sam never wanted more than to continue their tribe's legacy, but his words are true. Peninsula College is too close for the sky to be much different. Hell. Sam had called her so many times when he found out that she'd been tempted to pick up the phone just so she could hear those words.

But she didn't. And she won't. 

"There are other ways to get out besides college," Abeni says mid-chew over the phone. "College is a fucking scam. All that debt and for what? A piece of paper? Not worth it."

"College gets you a job," Leah whispers in return.

Abeni had called because it was the night before school. She was nervous for reasons she wouldn't say outloud. Leah hadn't told her about her dad. She knew that she knew though. If all the nurses at the clinic knew then, it made logical sense that Delphine knew and if Delphine knew, Abeni did, too, but Abeni wasn't the type to ask. Instead Leah told her, she dropped out, and Abeni took it the way Leah knew she would. With a conspiracy theory and certain aura of nonchalance. 

"Yeah, for talentless people. You can _draw_ and make shapes out of blocks of wood. You could charge these Forks kids hella coin for your talents."

"I don't want to make dreamcatchers."

"I didn't say you should."

"But you know they would ask me to."

She can't see her, but she imagines Abeni shrugging. "True. That's not even part of your culture right?"

Leah chuckles. She shakes her head, knowing Abeni can't see her either. "No. I couldn't even tell you what tribe it came from."

Abeni doesn't respond. She does this. She'll just sit on the phone for hours at a time until her mom or sister yells at her to get off. Leah doesn't know what it is about silence that Abeni finds so comfortable. Leah's used to loudness and talking. Even alone in her room, she can hear the faint sound of waves or her father and Seth laughing from downstairs. It's too late for that now. Her whispers and the animals outside are the only noises in their tiny home.

She sighs. "What am I gonna do?"

"You're so talented, Leah," Abeni responds softly. "You have time. Just focus on what you can control right now."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

"I know I am. Now, can you please tell me more about the Cullens?"

When they hang up, Leah focuses on the things she can change. She makes a list. She needs a car in her name and to broaden her skillset. She needs to fill out that job application for that crafting store in Forks. She _needs_ Abeni to shut the fuck up about the Cullens. Simple things. Things she can control. 

And Leah does it, too. While Abeni focuses on school, Leah checks off the things on her list. She gets a job at the crafting store after her walk-in. She starts threading her drawings with ink into fruits. She keeps to herself. She learns and works, and that's only the first week of September.

She starts to think maybe, she can heal.

* * *

Delphine had insisted on doing Abeni's hair for the first 'last' day as she called it. Abeni's new braids tug so deep at her scalp, she's sure her eyebrows look permanently arched. And then, there's the people. They stare at her. They talk about her in barely disguised whispers. By second period, she's heard her name pronounced in more ways than she thought was possible. Aben. Bean. Benny.

It's 2006, she has to remind herself. This is pre-woke America. The people around her probably don't even know they're intimidated for no damn good reason. Granted. She has killed someone before, but she smiles. She can play nice.

There's Mike. He's in Physics class and he stares at her chest too long for her to do anything more than ignore him when he talks. There's a lot of boys that she meets that she quickly learns aren't worth her time. Boys that she can feel staring at her ass as she walks. Boys who she would've yelled at or fought at her old school. Part of her disgust with boys she knows has to do with her dreaming. Every time they look at her, she can just feel the fire licking at her skin. Threatening to burn her if she gets too close.

This is Forks, though, and for the sake of her mom and her lovely sister, Abeni has to play nice. 

"Hey, beanie baby!" One of the boys, Abeni can only assume introduced himself earlier, slips his arm around her shoulder. She tenses and shrugs it off, keeping her gaze fixed on us her food options. Salad. Macaroni. Pasta. She decides on the pasta.

"Angela said you're sitting with us." He's entirely too close. 

"I guess I am," she states blandly. She turns, still not looking at him. Her eyes scan the tables. There's many blondes in the sea of Forks high students. None of them Rosalie, the thought both relieves and upsets her. "Where are you sitting?"

He points to one table - Angela, seeing her, waves happily - and Abeni walks and sits down without a second glance. 

"Yo."

They all murmur their hellos. Angela is the one to introduce everyone. Lauren. Mike, again. Tyler, a boy that only peaks her interest because he looks like her, but he doesn't return the interest. 

"There's Bella," Jessica mumbles.

"Jess."

"I bet she won't even sit with us this year - now that she's got her shiny new boyfriend."

Lauren snarks out a laugh, but the rest of the table is filled with uneasy glances and side-eyes. Abeni debates asking the question. She can picture the conversation in her head like a movie. _Bella who?_ She'll say and someone will say something like ' _Bella is my ex-girlfriend or Bella betrayed us all once she started dating this new guy.'_

She doesn't need to ask, though, because Bella saunters into the cafeteria, on the arm of her shiny new boyfriend. Abeni vaguely recognizes him and Bella as the couple who sat in the back of her history class. Of course, she should have noticed he had the same pale complexion as Rosalie. Every single one of the group - save for Bella - looked too pale and too perfect. Abeni could feel the yearning in her chest, familiar in that it was distinctly wrong.

"They look like Rosalie," she says to no one in particular.

"Rosalie Hale?" Jessica says.

Abeni nods.

"How do you know Rosalie?"

She thinks of the blonde girl with her scowl and sneer. How would she react if Abeni... Abeni smirks just slightly, weighing the possibilities. Tell them she's friends with Rosalie and deal with the possibility of them asking her questions. Say the truth. Tell everyone her and Rosalie had a fake affair this summer and out herself as gay. It would annoy the blonde if she ever found out, but would it be worth it?

"I met her this summer. We're friends" she says finally. 

"You're friends with Rosalie Hale?" Jessica's voice is a little too loud. The tables near them all turn. "How?"

She turns again to look at the group. They take turns speaking; a thick burly boy, a tiny girl, and the boy from her History class. The pixie-haired girl's eyes flicker to Abeni. She smiles, a slight quirk of her lips, before whispering something to the group. Bella leans forward. Edward sits intense and speaks again, only to Bella or maybe, he's speaking to everyone.

"Is it hard to be friends with Rosalie Hale?" Abeni asks. Careful to keep her tone of voice light and teasing. 

"She doesn't really have friends," mutters Jessica. "When she went to school here, she didn't talk to anyone."

"None of the Cullens talk to anyone."

"Except Bella," Mike interjects. "I mean, she is dating one."

"So, they have a secret?" Abeni grins. 

"What?" 

Abeni shrugs. "Either they have a secret or they're in a cult."

 _Or they're a group of witches. Or the whole reason I'm here._ It makes sense. Reclusive group of foster kids don't talk to anyone save for one girl who stops talking to everyone when she starts dating one of the foster kids? Suspicious. She stops herself from smirking triumphantly at the faint pressure in the back of her head. Ding. Ding. Ding. She's getting warmer. 

They all pause and stare at her. A silence blankets the table until Jessica finally awkwardly laughs. 

"I just thought they thought they were better than everyone."

"I think everyone thinks that, Jess," says Mike quickly.

"So, what- if you talk to the Cullens, they just ignore you?"

"Depends. Rosalie hurt Mike's feelings sophomore year," interjected Eric in-between bites of his french fries.

"I don't remember that."

"Really? You were all,' You're so gorgeous,' and she was all, 'I will never be interested you ever.' It was right before biology-"

"Shut up, Eric."

"Just trying to help your memory, dog." Eric returned to eating his fries.

By the end of the week, Abeni's sure the Cullens are gods, a tether binding her to this world. It's the only explanation she can find for everyone's worship. It's interesting really. Abeni tests the tether as often as she can. On Tuesday, she sits next to Edward and when he's not looking, she analyzes him. His skin. The way he is almost too perfect, painfully so. She disguises it as an attempt at drawing his face. Only Bella seems bothered by her actions. Edward doesn't spare her a second glance. 

That's the thing though. The Cullens keep their distance from her. At first, she thought they did it to everyone, but no. They purposefully went out of their way to ignore her. Edward refused to look at her even when she was the one speaking in class. Alice, the pretty pixie girl, who Abeni had tried to strike a conversation up with in Art had purposefully stared intensely at her painting until Abeni had returned to her seat. Abeni could handle their blatant rudeness if they didn't stare at her. They watched her. Sometimes, she'd catch them staring at her from across the parking lot while she waited for her sister. Other times, she'd turn around in her seat in Art to find Alice staring at her. 

There were many possibilies. Maybe, they were homophobic and knew she was gay? Racist? Maybe, they thought she was clawing her way to fame by pretending she knew Rosalie more intimately than she did? The more the Cullens ignored her the less the others believed her on knowing Rosalie which didn't bother Abeni. What bothered her was that she hadn't had a headache her entire week there. She was farther away from knowing herself than she had ever been before.

"Did you and Rosalie have a falling out?" Jess asks.

"A lovers' spat," Abeni replies quickly because if anything, she wants the rumor to get back to them. To _her_. Maybe, it'll provoke someone into action.

Jess chuckles awkwardly. Seeing Abeni's blank expression, her grin falters. "What? You're not like serious right?"

"I'm kidding."

 _'That wouldn't be fair.'_ Abeni reminds herself. _'You can't start rumors because you want attention. Aren't people who remember their past lives supposed to be mature?''_

What would the mature thing to do be? The mature thing would be to ignore it. Search for answers on her own time. Read a book. Focus on her friendships. Invest in the future. The past is meant to be the past. Leave it buried. There are other ways to learn, she convinces herself. She could go into the mountains and meditate for days on end or summon a spirit for questioning. Why don't I feel guilt over killing my father? Why do I remember things that haven't happened to me? Why does my head hurt? 

When she walks into school, that is what she resolves to do and then, she sees Bella talking to Angela. Seeing her, Angela smiles eagerly and waves her over. Bella looks back, sees her, and hunches a bit. Abeni could even say, she tenses slightly. The girl offers her a slight smile and waves.

"Have you two met? Abeni, this is Bella." Something in Angela's gaze is pleading. 

Bella isn't as pale as her friends. She doesn't bring with her a sense of alertness. All Abeni can feel is pity, pity because this is the first time she's seen her without her boyfriend glued to her hip.

"Yeah, uhm, Angela told me you're friends with Rosalie. I didn't know Rosalie really had... friends."

_'So everyone thinks she's a bitch. Cool.'_

Abeni quirks a brow. "You don't like her?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to." 

Bella opens her mouth. She closes it. She opens it again. 

The warning bell rings.

"My sister isn't exactly the type to have friends." Edward seemingly appears out of nowhere. He wraps an arm around Bella's waist. His face contorts in what Abeni can assume he thinks is a friendly grin. "Come on, Bella. You have class."

She doesn't like it. Not his grin. Not the way he pulls Bella away from their conversation. Her hand inches up to roll her protection jar between her thumb and her palm. When they scurry off, she cocks a brow at Angela, but Angela isn't like Jess. Abeni isn't even sure Angela has a suspicious bone in her body. All she offers Abeni is a half-hearted grin and shrug.

"You don't think that's weird?"

"He's right. If we don't leave now, we'll be late."

It pisses Abeni off to admit that he's right. She's late to homeroom and because she's still pissed and unsettled by the time 2nd period rolls around, she decides to sit by none other than Alice Cullen. Call it stubbornness or recklessness. She didn't know which. She just knew she needed to see up close. 

When Abeni sits down, Alice goes noticeably still. So still, Abeni thinks she might be a statue, until the bell rings and she finally breathes.

Abeni doesn't say anything. She says nothing when their teacher instructs them to draw a portrait of your partner, not a grin or a smile in Alice's direction. She says nothing when they gather their pencils.

"So, you're Abeni?" Her voice is light. It lacks the huskiness of Rosalie's and the primness of Edward's. It's all light. All air. Hearing her voice, Abeni can't imagine this being the person who ignored her a few days prior. She's too peppy and sweet.

But she did.

"That's me." She turns towards her. "And you're Alice Cullen."

The pixie girl opposite her smiles just slightly. "The one and only."

She insists she draw Abeni first. Her golden eyes flicker from her page and back up to study Abeni's face, murmuring compliments the whole way through about Abeni's complexion and undertones. 

Abeni doesn't have time to react before Alice's fingers are around a stray braid. Her eyes studying it inquisitively as if it's some sort of magical wonder and not a simple braid.

"Your hair's lovely," she murmurs.

Abeni reaches up and curls her own hand around Alice's prodding one. For a moment so quick Abeni thinks she must've imagined it, it feels like she's pulling at stone and then, Alice is moving with Abeni and her hand is hovering over her own lap. 

"Don't... do that," Abeni says simply. She smiles to let Alice know ' _It's okay. I'm not mad.'_ and Alice returns it with her own smile of her own. Abeni doesn't like this smile though. Although her lips are upturned, her eyes are calculating. Watchful. 

"Sorry. Your hair is just very beautiful," she answers and maybe, it's the innocence in her expression that causes Abeni's guard to slip slightly. 

Abeni smiles softly. She nods. "Thank you."

In another world, Abeni imagines she would've snapped. If anyone else had done it, she's sure she would've yelled or lectured. There's just something not right about it all. From her headaches to the way everyone shifts around this family. The way this family watches her, catches her off guard. 

She absentmindedly fingers her necklace. 

"I hear you know my sister." Alice says her sister's name the same way Abeni's mom would say 'habibti' like her mouth is dripping in honey. She looks at Abeni. Her eyes dancing with mischief. Her lip curled in a smirk.

 _'I know you don't know Rosalie,'_ Abeni imagines her saying. 

"I do."

"That's good," she responds. Her voice light, unassuming. "I keep telling Rose she should get more friends."

* * *

It isn't only Bella at their lunch table. It's Bella and Edward -- a two for one special Abeni never remembered ordering. She plops her ass down next to Angela and immediately shoves a few fries in her mouth, ignoring the awkward tension. Mike is avoiding looking at Bella. Eric is eating. Eric's _always_ eating. Edward looks constipated. Lauren looks pissy. No one is speaking. Not even sweet Angela.

"Abeni-"

"You see any cute boys yet?" Jess interrupts whatever Lauren was going to say. A tense smile threatening to break her face in half.

"Nope."

Lauren scoffs. "Seriously?"

Abeni thinks of Leah and immediately squashes that thought. She shrugs. "I don't have a type."

"But, there are so many black guys here," Lauren says dumbfoundedly.

Abeni can see Bella put her face in her palms. She can see Edward shake his head. She hears the words leave Lauren's mouth, but she can't bring herself to register them. 

"Seriously, Lauren," Angela says.

"What?"

Abeni continues eating.

* * *

"You know I'd be totally okay if you were like _that_. My uncle's -" Jessica leans forward. "-gay."

"Jess, please."

"I'm just trying to be helpful."

* * *

Like most Sundays, Abeni strides into the Port Angeles women's shelter. The cloudy overcast having forced - she uses this word lightly - her to borrow her sister's velour tracksuit. She had spent the better part of the weekend anticipating seeing Rosalie there. She had even dreamed about her living the life Abeni assumed would fit her more: red carpets, movie premieres, and a wave of adoring fans. Even still, something in the back of her head throbbed when she entertained these thoughts. Only this time it was less of a warning and more of a 'pay attention'.

Maria's talking to a family when Abeni walks in. She smiles at her, but says nothing more. Abeni signs in on the sheet and walks into the big room, the room where she saw Rosalie the first time. 

She doesn't find her. Instead, she finds Shelly applying ointment to a child's hand. Shelly looks up and smiles.

"She's upstairs." Her Southern accent is nothing more than a twang today. 

"Who?"

"Blondie," Shelly shoots her a knowing look. "She's organizing our new book donations. Probably needs help, too."

Abeni finds Rosalie reading in the library. Three unopened boxes of books beside her and an empty bookshelf in front. Her long blonde hair is pinned in a loose bun. Wisps of hair curl around her face. Pearls sit in her ears. A beige wool coat is thrown on the back of her chair. She wears a neatly pressed white blouse. The moment is almost too perfect and too still. If not for the banging of the radiator, Abeni might've mistaken Rosalie for a painting.

"Are you going to just stand there?" She flips to the next page without so much as a glance.

"Why? Would that bother you if I did?"

Rosalie glares from behind her book. When Abeni doesn't move or break eye contact, she snaps it shut. She huffs, turning away from Abeni and rips open a box. "I guess I can read later."

"I met your family. I think I'm starting to figure out where I know you from," Abeni begins slowly, watching Rosalie carefully.

"And where is that exactly?" Rosalie asks.

Abeni picks up one of the boxes and shuffles it to a nearby bookcase with empty shelves. 

"I said I'm starting to figure it out. Meeting your family helped," she turns to the blonde with a knowing smile on her face. "You guys look a lot alike."

Rosalie doesn't respond. She pauses her motion of picking up another book and stares at Abeni. Golden eyes meet brown ones. A faint throbbing begins in the back of Abeni's head.

"We're foster siblings," she says curtly.

Abeni's seen enough of the foster care system to know that their similarities are not normal. You didn't just adopt beautiful children with similar qualities. It'd be different if they were all black. Abeni could dismiss that as a racial fetish, but Alice was the only non-White Cullen family member as far as Abeni knew and yet, she was just as unnatural as the rest of them. 

She shrugs and attempts to rip open the box as easily as Rosalie had... with difficulty. She can feel Rosalie watching her struggle. After a moment of embarassment, the blonde sighs. She leans close enough to Abeni that she can smell the perfume on her skin.

Up close like this, Abeni doesn't even think Rosalie has pores. She lifts up the box top with ease and steps back quickly, returning to her work. 

"Thanks," Abeni mumbles.

A 'mhm' is all that Rosalie replies.

By the time they finish, the sun is beginning to set. Abeni sits on the curbside outside the shelter, close enough to the door that she can run in if need be. Sometimes, angry partners came around looking for their wives or kids. That and she was always scared she might see her dad in one of those car windows.

It didn't make logical sense, but fear doesn't need to. 

Maria had long since switched out her shift for another volunteer. Shelly had left work early, complaining about needing to make dinner. 

When she turns her head, Rosalie is exiting the shelter. Her wool coat tailored perfectly to her figure, belted around her waist with a belt. She glances at Abeni and then, away. Her expression not shifting once out of a cool blankness.

Fine. If she didn't want to talk, Abeni wouldn't either. 

She walks past in the direction of a bright red car - Abeni has to assume that it's hers. It's the nicest car in the lot.

Instead of continuing, she pauses. She turns around, looking visibly annoyed like Abeni called her name.

"Are you waiting for a ride?" She calls.

"Yeah. My sister's usually here by now. She probably got held up at the clinic," Abeni glances at the ground.

Rosalie sighs. Again, looking visibly disgruntled. "It's getting dark," she says slowly. Every word seems to pain her. "I can drive you."

"I would, but I have no way to call-"

She pulls out a slim grey blackberry. Abeni's eyebrows shoot into her scalp. No one she knew had a phone. She only saw them in her dreams. At her hesitance, Rosalie shakes it slightly. She looks around at the darkening sky.

"You can call her in the car," she says quickly. Abeni grabs the phone and before she knows it, Rosalie is already moving.

Abeni tries to not look starstruck at the sleekness of the car, how clean and neatly polished everything in the interior is from the seats to the dashboard. She pops open the door and slides in. She dials the number of the Quileute Health Clinic and almost stops herself from breathing a sigh of relief when her sister's familiar frantic voice answers.

Internally, she mumbles a 'thank you'. She had asked for truth and here was an opportunity.

"Deli?"

"Abeni. I'm so sorry. We're so shortstaffed right now. I'm still waiting for the 2nd shift nurse to come in. Can you call Leah? Wait, who's number are you calling me from? Is this the women's shelter?"

"It's okay. I got a ride. I'll meet you home, okay?"

"A ride from who?"

"A friend from school."

"What friend?"

"Love you. I'll see you at home."

She hangs up before her sister can fire off another line of questions. 

Rosalie has already started the car and begun pulling out of the parking lot. Per Rosalie's request, she plugs her address into the GPS - another thing she had only seen in her dreams. The only sound while they drive comes from the radio. It shifts from rock to pop and then, back again until Carrie Underwood sings her pop-country tune about keying her boyfriend's car. Abeni chuckles.

"She should've just killed him," she half-jokes.

She swears she can see Rosalie smile.

"You'd kill a man if he cheated on you," Rosalie drawls.

"I'd kill a man for anything, but I don't think I could kill a woman if she cheated on me," she says casually, watching Rosalie carefully. "The most I'd do is curse her, probably."

"Curse... as in magic."

Abeni grins. "Yes, as in magic. What would you do?"

"Kill them," Rosalie replies simply.

 _'Oh. That's hot. I shouldn't think that's hot.'_ She refocuses and checks magic off her list. Everyone who practices magic talks about practicing magic or carries it with them in the form of a jar or pendant. Rosalie and her family did nothing of the sort, but they had to have done something. Being white wasn't enough of a crime to make every Quileute Abeni mentioned their name to go silent.

There's something she's missing. Abeni ignores the intensifying pain in the back of her head. She thinks back to all the times she's seen the Cullens. Every time they looked beautiful, painfully beautiful and statuesque. The thought slaps her across the face, crescendos on her mind with an abrupt searing pain and nausea and yet, even it is only a tiny piece of the entire puzzle she's missing.

She curses, doubles over and stares at the rubber ground. 

The Cullens rarely breathed. Their movements lacked the fluttering, shakiness, that most people had. They looked like art because they embodied that lifelessness.

"Are you okay?"

Her vision blurs. She nods vigorously. Not letting herself think. There is only the rubber floor, this car, and a beautiful woman next to her. She clutches at her necklace until the pain subsides and she can finally lean back up.

"It happens sometimes," she says, seeing Rosalie's confused expression. The woman's eyes flicker across her face, assessing her. "It's just a side effect of trauma. Conversion disorder, I think that's what it's called?"

"Somatoform?" Rosalie offers. One eyebrow quirked slightly up.

Abeni hadn't even realized she had pulled over. She shrugs weakly. "Yeah, I just need to get home and lie down."

Abeni doesn't think the rest of the ride. She focuses on the music and the rain as it pitter-patters against the window. Rosalie doesn't offer any words of comfort. She does drive faster or maybe, that's Abeni's imagination. When they pull up outside of her home, it is the first time since her attack that Abeni lets herself look at her.

Her nails are cut short and pink. Her eyes are darker than the golden brown they were before. A trick of the light, Abeni assumes. There's not a single hair out of place. It is only after Abeni stares at her for awhile that she begins to see the slow rise and fall of Rosalie's chest, almost like an afterthought.

She shakes her head. "Sorry for all of that. I don't normally panic like that."

"You should get that checked," she says quietly. She pulls out a piece of paper from her overhead mirror and scribbles on it. "Here. That's my father's work phone. He can help you."

Her handwriting is so elegant. Abeni twirls the paper before pocketing it. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

Rosalie nods quickly. Her lips almost forming a smile before Abeni's porch light turns on and her sister steps out, hands planted firmly on her hips. The light from the porch illuminates her in an ominous glow.

"Fuck me," Abeni rolls her eyes. She turns one last time to Rosalie. "See you next Sunday!" She calls and exits the car. 

By the time Abeni is finished being yelled at by her sister, Rosalie is home. Her family knows she's arrived well before she even step foot on their land. Alice is the first to greet her. She jumps down from the bannister, smile still stuck on her face even as Rosalie glares at her. They stare at each-other long enough that the rest of the family joins them in the living room.

Here's the thing. The Cullens don't need to speak to understand each-other. Anyone who lived with Rosalie long enough knew her murderous expression meant someone, mostly Edward, was going to get thrown threw a tree or punched into the ceiling. Everyone knew to avoid her when she got like that.

"What's the issue?" Esme asks. Her gaze shifting uneasily from daughter to daughter.

"Rosalie just got back from hanging out with her new friend," Alice chirps. Her smile growing with each word.

This is the wrong thing to say. Rosalie spins around and stomps upstairs to her room, leaving a perplexed family and a smug Alice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen... this quarantine got me dying. Please if you enjoyed the chapter let me know! Seeing all ya'll's kudos and comments motivated me to get this out. Thank you.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world seen through Leah's eyes.

"I'm telling you, Leah. They don't breathe." 

Abeni doesn't know how many times she had begun this rant and ended it. Since her realization Sunday, she'd have to say six or eight. Six times reserved for her mother and sister and now, once for Leah when she plopped her bag on her living room couch. Leah is sleeping over. The excuse the two girls gave their parents ranged from it being more convenient for the both of them to Leah needing space. Leah could drop Abeni off at school and get to work faster. It'd save Delphine time and her mother wouldn't have to fret. Leah wouldn't have to be at home. That is what they told anyone who asked. Really, the two missed each-other though neither one of them would say that out loud. 

There was one issue with this perfect plan. It had been three days since Abeni had realized a fraction of the truth and she hadn't shut up since. 

"They don't breathe," Abeni repeats. Her mother watches her with rapt attention as she always did when this topic came up. "They're not human."

Leah pauses. She turns to Abeni, doubt written all over her face. "What? Were you just staring at them?"

"Yes! I was at the clinic with Rosalie right-"

"Oh. _Rosalie_ . How intimate."

Abeni ignores her. "And she looked like a painting. Like I'm talking not a hair out of place and I realized, wow, the reason she- I mean, they all looks like art is because they don't breathe... and because they're really beautiful."

"Beautiful?" Leah's lip curls up in a frown.

"Eurocentrically." Leah stares blankly. "Beautiful in the way white people are considered more beautiful, but they're really not, you know? Like I look at her- them- and I'm like, 'okay this is what my ancestors died to look like'."

The truth of the matter is Leah doesn't want to hear about the Cullens. She lets her best friend talk because that is what friends do, but she couldn't give a shit about them or their breathing. What Leah knew was what her mother told her the day they moved into Forks, ' _They're colonizers.'_ Sue's voice had taken on that lilt it did when she wouldn't say more on a topic. _'They come from our enemies. Demons. That's all you need to know.'_. There was a story, too. Something told loosely that her father whispered when her and Seth were young. One of the many monsters told to scare bad children. The Cold Ones. Them not breathing surprised Leah as much as the time Delphine walked around the dinner table, scooping the leftover chicken bones into a jar of oil - which is to say she thought of it once and put it somewhere where she could pretend it didn't exist. Once she began this process, there was no stopping it.

As the night wore on, her answers grew shorter and more clipped until finally, Fatima demanded Leah help her cook and made her daughter re-do their home's protection - a wording that Leah had long since learned meant 'clean the house'. 

"I learned this," Fatima smiles softly, stirring the batter. Today, she wears her work clothes - her hair is pulled back in a tight bun and she looks nothing like the woman she was when Leah first met her. Something about her eyes having less fear. "When she gets like this, I make her blueberry bread. Shuts her right up."

"Yeah," Leah grins, dropping each blueberry into the bowl with a tiny _plop_. "When was the last time you had to make this?"

"When her father died," Fatima says grimly. She moves quickly and pours the batter into the lightly greased pan. "She wouldn't shut up. I fed her blueberry bread. She stopped talking. Then, she left."

Leah slowly and quietly shuts the oven door. At first, she had handled their house the same way she handled hers. She moved loudly and shouted her answers, but the Browns were silent. Fatima couldn't handle loud sounds. Sometimes, even the loudness of the cars driving past could send her in a frenzy. She'd curl up in a ball for hours and Abeni or Delphine would have to sing lullabies to her in their tongue. Leah asked once 'why' and never again. Abeni had opened her mouth to answer and Delphine had shushed her. The tension between the two sisters ran thick for the rest of that night. 

"I'm sorry for your loss," Leah says finally. 

Fatima smiles without humor and shakes her head. "Don't let Abeni hear you say that."

The bread does shut Abeni up. It seems the moment the smell drifts into the air, she hovers by the kitchen eagerly waiting. When the bread touches her lips, she goes back for seconds and thirds. They sit on the floor. Leah tells Abeni she looks like a chipmunk and the girl puffs her cheeks up more, sticking her top teeth out over her bottom lip. All Leah can do is laugh. _'I could laugh with her all day,'_ she thinks, but it is less of a thought and more of a train. Abeni with her bonnet on. Abeni spitting crumbs of blueberry bread on the carpet inbetween laughter. As present as she tries to be, the thought of laughing with her friend all day hits her and lingers.

A crumb of mashed blueberry bread lands on her top and Leah manages to groan out a half-hearted insult. She wipes it off with her thump and flings it at Abeni; it lands perfectly on the space between her collarbone and the beginning of her tank-top. Abeni digs her finger and her shirt drags down with her hand. Leah averts her gaze. Friendship means feeling seen and being comfortable, she reminds herself. 

The last time Leah slept over, Abeni had slept on the couch and Leah on the floor. This time they both sleep on the floor. Abeni talks until they fall asleep, so much Leah's worried she won't actually wake up in time for school. She talks about magic; how her spells always come true, but with a price. Always a price. How Leah is her closest friend. How she thought there was more to this world than, her eyes could see. 

"Myths are real," she says to Leah. Their faces so close Leah can smell the blueberry on her breathe. 

"Don't start talking about the Cullens," Leah says quickly.

Abeni glares. "I wasn't. I was going to say I think we're destined for something bigger."

"Bigger?"

"Something's big is gonna happen. It's gonna change everything." And although her words are slurred, Leah understands. 

She had noticed it at La Push. Reportings of wolves running rampant, tearing people limb from limb. Sam picking boys off one by one to join what her friends had called a gang. Leah didn't want to think things would change. All she wanted was this. Working towards a better future. Her father, alive, and laughter. Lots of laughter. She'd think about the rest- her plans and her dreams of leaving- later. 

"Do you feel it?" Abeni asks when Leah doesn't reply. Her eyes closed.

"Yeah," Leah whispers. Her stomach filled with knots. "I do."

Leah's the first to wake up. She takes a quick bath with one of their spare washcloths and brushes her teeth, careful to step lightly throughout the house. She doesn't know what time Delphine got home last night, but she sees her on her way downstairs. Despite herself, Leah peaks. Her curly hair, looser than Abeni's, is a heavy curtain around her face and she snores. Loud. The interesting thing about Delphine coming home in the middle of the night is she had long since switched out of her clinic night shifts. Leah wouldn't comment because frankly, it wasn't her business, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't a bit curious about the older sister's whereabouts - why her eyes were streaked with eyeliner and her face looked different. Not smushed by the pillow, but different. Longer, maybe. Altered, slightly.

It takes thirty minutes for Abeni to wake up and half a bite of Leah's bagel for her to walk up the stairs and do god knows what to make her sister's whispered curses carry throughout the house. An hour later and she's dressed. Leah doesn't know how long it takes for them to get in the car and get to the school, but she knows it involves a lot of smiling and Abeni mocking the way Leah's face scrunches up when she says anything vaguely inappropriate. 

"I'm not a virgin. You're just obsessed with sex."

"Of course I'm obsessed. It's _fun_."

Leah doesn't justify that with a response.

They pull up to the school and Abeni hops out after confirming her pick up from school. It's quick and simple. Leah almost misses the way Abeni pauses once she steps out of the car. The enthusiastic way one of her friends points at a bright red convertible. Her keys ready to turn in the ignition and then, she sees it. Them. The infamous Cullens. If their looks didn't give them away, the flashiness of their cars was enough to seal the deal. She peeks a bit, leaning back to catch the license plate. A 2005 Jeep Wrangler. A lesser her would whistle. Shit like that was enough to cover her parent's mortgage. The cost of all those cars could have her and her family set for life.

 _'People like that get their cars stolen and just buy another one,'_ she thinks, briefly entertaining the thought of snatching one and selling it in Seattle. 

She watches as the scene plays out, checking the time casually before continuing. She had a half hour before work started. She could wait. She leans over the seat, rolling down the window so she can see without the smudges of the glass - she really needed to get to a car wash. Abeni swerves away from her friends and moves to the Cullens because of course, she does. Leah sighs, shaking her head.

"Dumbass," she whispers. 

_'The blonde she's talking to must be Rosalie.'_ She towers over Abeni. Blonde hair falling around her shoulders in effortless waves. Face that somehow seemed striking even from Leah's distance. She had to be the prettiest Cullen. Leah frowned despite herself. She refused to admit it out loud, but she could understand why Abeni was so... taken. There was another Cullen talking to Abeni now. Two, in fact. A short girl and a man big enough that even, Abeni, with all her bravado, stepped back. Leah put her hand on the door handle, ready to move if needed. Her grip only relaxing when they all disbanded.

Abeni turns back to her then. She waves as if she knew Leah was there all along and she probably did. The old rusty truck was hard to miss. Satisfied, Leah turns the key and pulls off.

* * *

"You're sleeping there again." Sue's words are less of a question and more of a statement. Leah tosses a pair of jeans into her bag.

"Yep," she mumbles.

Leah doesn't have to look to know her mother is leaning against the door-frame, folding her arms. She can imagine the crease between her brows vividly, the chronic downturn of her lips that Leah had seemed to inherit. It meant she was going to say something Leah didn't want to hear.

Sue pauses, betraying whatever thought she had initially decided on. Leah's at an age now where Sue can't demand or order Leah to do anything - not that that ever turned out successfully in the past either. She clears her throat. "When will I get to meet this friend of yours?"

"You met her at our party."

"No, I didn't. I met her mom. You never introduced me to her." Leah waits for the punchline. "You know, Delphine used to always come into the clinic telling tales of a little sister she had... one that was very troubled after her dad's death. Ran away from home for months. Got into fights. Practiced forbidden magic."

Leah came from a long line of practical women. She knew better than to lie and pretend magic didn't exist. She knows enough to know her mom dropping that at the end means she wants Leah to comment. Leah couldn't sidestep it without a fight.

She turns to Sue. "Forbidden magic?" 

"Is that what you're doing at her house?"

"Mom."

"You've been spending all your time there."

Leah could laugh. Abeni's family thought they were fucking and her mom thought they were practicing forbidden magic. Did she begin by telling her mom the only spells Abeni ever practiced involved baking or did she play dumb and ask what forbidden magic is?

Of course, Leah had never seen Abeni practice anything more than singing or baking. Once or twice her bedroom door had been cracked and Leah saw herbs hanging from the wall and the ceiling. Sometimes, they hung out when Abeni made trinkets of protection for the women at the shelter, but nothing looked forbidden. Everything she did from the salting of her windows to burning her clumps of hair was damn practical by Quileute standards. All Abeni ever did remotely frightening was that one time when they first met and she bagged wolfsbane while high. Leah never did find out what that was for.

One problem at a time.

She shakes her head. "Abeni doesn't practice forbidden magic."

"And how would you know that?"

"She doesn't. She's a tiny girl who bakes and talks too much shit for her own good. How would she even learn the spells?" Leah pauses, thinking. "Why would Delphine even tell you that?"

Sue doesn't respond at first. She sighs. Her arms still folded like Leah expected. "Not important. Have your friend come over for dinner Friday. Are you working?"

"Mom-"

"Are you working?"

Leah shakes her head.

"Good. I'll cook."

Sue pauses by the doorway as if she wants to say more. She falters with one hand placed on the doorframe. Leah thinks her eyes might be watering, but that could also just be a trick of the light. Her mom never cries. "Your dad's appointment went well in case you were wondering."

Leah avoids her mom's face. She stares instead at the empty space next to her and nods. "Where is he?"

"On the couch downstairs. Sleeping. It was a long drive."

"You literally could have just went to Forks Hospital."

"You know why we don't go there. Besides, Harry doesn't want people finding out."

 _'Because he's the council elder,'_ Leah mentally finishes. A statement fed to her many times throughout her life. Being a council family member wasn't like being a president's daughter, but everyone knew the Clearwaters. Whatever Leah did was known, put on a billboard, and whispered about. Sam breaking up with her for Emily had been a bad taste in her mouth for months. All anyone talked about for weeks. Her running away had just stopped being the talk of their rez. Now it was Sam's gang; a question Leah never got an answer to no matter how often she asked her dad.

All of that is to say, Harry had to represent strength.

Sue breathes deeply. She steps out of the room. "Friday, Leah."

"Friday."

"I'm serious."

Leah manages to pack an outfit for tomorrow and some of her drawing materials. She was itching to try drawing Abeni's living room and paint it when she had a chance. All the bright colors and little quirks: jars of bones, black salt, oil labeled for each property. She wanted to capture it on paper. She tiptoes down the stairs. Her dad's snores carry around the house. She even lets herself spare him a glance.

He doesn't look sick which is all that worried her. She didn't think she could bare it if he did.

Abeni spends the ride talking about the Cullens. _'They invited me to their house. For Bella's birthday,'_ she half-whispers half-sings to Leah when she slides in. She thinks Leah doesn't notice the way she keeps flinching, breathing deeply, and clutching her scalp after each sentence. She thinks Leah forgot Delphine telling her that Abeni was prone to fainting. The Cullens. Rosalie. Bella. The words keep flowing out of Abeni's lips even, when Leah stops questioning and starts giving clipped responses.

It's not that Leah hated the Cullens. She didn't know them and hadn't seen them until today. She knew the stories. She knew to stay away from them and the sudden interest they were taking in her friend didn't sit right with her. In fact, she can feel her stomach tightening every time Abeni drops their names.

"Why're you so interested in them?" She questions abruptly. She had turned the car into a McDonald's parking lot after they'd grabbed a snack. Her boots are kicked up and out of the window, and she's sure her face has a ketchup or mustard stain somewhere.

Abeni stares at her. Her brows furrowed and her bottom lip jutted out just slightly. The girl never liked being interrupted. Neither one of them did. She flips her braids over her shoulder.

"What?"

Leah rolls her eyes. "You heard me. They're just rich and white."

_'And demonic.'_

Abeni opens her mouth and then, winces. "They're hiding something."

"Okay," Leah begins slowly. She bites another fry. "And what does that have to do with you?"

Her friend watches her. She analyzes her in a way that makes Leah shift her gaze to her lap and then, back again to her eyes. The silence stretches on with Abeni gnawing on her lip, staring at her, _reading_ her, and Leah trying to not be uncomfortable. There were two things Leah didn't like: silence and being seen. Silence was a weapon. She liked to use it, mold it, and fill the space with it when she was angry or upset. She didn't like how Abeni slipped into it as easily as someone put on a favorite sweatshirt. How she made it comfortable.

"Can you stop staring at me?"

Abeni looks sheepish. She averts her gaze to the windshield. "Sorry. I was thinking. I don't know what it has to do with me. I think that's why I'm so interested. Like, remember how I said things are changing last night?"

Leah nods.

"I want to be ready when it does. I don't... I don't want any surprises."

"Is that why we got the wolfsbane? To prevent surprises?"

She smiles. She has such a pretty smile. Bright teeth popping out against dark brown skin. "You remember that?" She shakes her head. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

And here's the moment. Here's the opening. Leah glances down at her bag, pretends to dig into it and look for another fry. "My mom says you practice forbidden magic."

"Huh."

Leah waits. 

One. 

Two.

Her head snaps up. A scowl set on her face.

"Are you gonna say anything?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"You could start with saying yes or no."

"Yes or no."

Leah throws a fry covered in ketchup at her. It bounces on her cheek and lays on her jeans, staining the fabric and - when she picks it up- leaving behind an angry red dot. 

"You're such an ass."

"Mhm," Leah responds. "Answer the question."

"Magic isn't good or bad. It just is. What's forbidden for one culture isn't-"

"Let me clarify. Your sister told my mom you were practicing forbidden magic," Leah interrupts. 

At that, Abeni pauses. Her face twists and contorts. She looks through Leah as if remembering and then, almost as quickly as it came, she comes back to herself.

"I had to," she spits. Her voice more broken than angry. "Delphine got to leave. She went across the fucking country. It was just me and umi." She spits 'Delphine' the same way, Leah had spit 'Emily' the day she found out. It's a certain type of venom that's not easily recreated. All betrayal and love.

"I had to," she repeats. She gnaws on her lip. Her eyes staring at Leah's hands. 

The sky turns twilight by the time she decides to speak again. She looks up and glances out the window. Her mouth opening as if she means to laugh, but nothing actually comes out. 

"Guess I'm not going to the Cullens," she whispers. 

"We don't have to talk about it," Leah says slowly and cautiously. "I can bring you home so, you can go."

Abeni shakes her head. "Nah. I don't think Rosalie wanted me to go anyways."

Tension wouldn't be the right way to describe the car's atmosphere. Whatever it is the air is thick with it. Abeni turns her gaze to stare back out the window and Leah follows suit. The clouds are so thick, shifting from their normal light grey to a darker blue. A few street lights have decided to turn on. The one above the truck illuminates their faces in a golden hue. On Abeni, it looks flattering. Leah thinks it must make her look sickly. 

"If I asked you what you did, would you answer me?" She asks. Her gaze finding her friend. 

Abeni doesn't turn to look at her. Her eyes flicker to the side. She sighs. Her legs shift to curl up against her chest and then, back down into the cushion of the seat. When she does finally look at Leah, she angles her whole body with her. 

"Do you promise not to tell anyone?" Her voice has a desperate edge to it.

"Who would I tell?"

Abeni stares at her.

Leah sighs. "I promise."

"You promise not to freak out?"

"Jeez, Bee," Leah runs a hand through her hair. "You're making it sound like you killed someone."

Abeni doesn't have to answer. She does this thing when she's about to say something she knows someone doesn't want to hear. Leah had seen her do it many times with her mom and her sister. Once with her when Leah had asked if she should return Emily's calls. She pushes her top lip up to her nose, opens her mouth as if she wants to speak, and then, sighs. It's a funny face. In any other circumstances, Leah might've laughed or teased her.

She freezes. "Are you fucking with me?" 

"Delphine thinks I used magic to kill our dad," she says with a roll of her eyes.

"Did you?"

Abeni shrugs.

"It's a yes or no question."

"Fuck, Leah. Yes," she sighs, exasperated. "I did." Seeing her friend's expression - even harder to read under the dim lamplight - Abeni continues. A bubble of anxiety rising in her throat. "He's the one who did this." 

Leah doesn't expect Abeni to unbutton her pants. Her eyebrows shoot into her scalp and then, relax once she sees what Abeni means to show her. A mangled burn mark covers the length of Abeni's upper thigh. _'That's why she never wears shorts.'_ All summer Abeni wore jeans and dresses. If she couldn't wear one of the two, she wore baggy men's shirts and leggings. Leah can't even begin to think what must've happened to give her a burn that big, the type of person who'd hurt their own kid.

Abeni pulls her pants back up and buttons them again. 

"Your dad did that," Leah says slowly. Abeni nods. 

Leah can feel her brain putting the information away and in a place where she can never touch it even if she wants to. _'My friend killed her dad.'_ She repeats the words over and over, trying to make them stick. 

"Delphine thinks I should've just - I don't know - rolled over and let him beat us," Abeni spits. "But, we have power, you know? What's the point of having power if you don't use it?" 

Leah thinks of Fatima's crooked nose - the way silence seemed to be the Brown family's preferred method of communication. She always thought it weird how Abeni refused to miss even one trip to the women's shelter - it was so much gas and yet, Delphine never objected to bringing her. It makes sense. It all makes sense. 

She runs another hand through her hair and whistles.

"Don't spells like that come back to you?" Leah's voice is low and slow. Her mind still gone and processing, repeating the words and trying to make them real.

"Not if you know what you're doing," Abeni says quietly.

"And you're not fucking with me?"

She rolls her eyes. "I wouldn't joke about this." At Leah's stare, she groans. "Fine. I _would_ , but I'm not."

Leah tilts her head back against the glass of her window - the light outside having long faded from twilight to black - and stares at the ceiling. Harry never hit her mom. She doesn't think he could even entertain the thought. The most they did was argue and Harry was never one to raise his voice. He nodded while his mom yelled. He smiled up at her and he waited for the storm to pass. Violence was barely a whisper in Leah's home.

Leah didn't think she hated anyone enough to kill them. She tries to imagine Sam raising his hand to hit her and the thought makes her mouth twist in a grimace. You didn't know what you'd do until the situation happened to you. Something deep in her tells her she might've killed him, too.

"He deserved it," Abeni says suddenly. Leah pops her head up to look at her. She leans against the opposite window. Her face partially hidden by shadows. There's not an ounce of regret in her voice. "I know you probably wouldn't get it, but he did."

Leah lets out another breathe of air. She wishes she had a blunt. "That's a lot."

"It is."

"You really killed him?"

"He's dead dead. Cardiac arrest."

She leans forward. Her eyes searching Abeni's face for a tell. She knows Abeni isn't lying -Leah was always raised to trust her intuition and nothing in her smelled dishonest - and yet, part of her wishes Abeni was.

After a moment, Leah presses her lips together. "And Delphine..."

"Delphine thinks murder is too far," Abeni says, shifting slightly. "Umi - my mom, she-"

"You can just say umi," Leah interrupts with a shrug. "You don't have to... switch."

"Right. I think my umi is still figuring out how she feels," Abeni says with a nod. 

Leah's eyes flicker to Abeni's thigh. Leah knows she's normally a hard to read person. The giveaways are in the details. The slight of her brow and chronic downturn of her lips are things that most interpret to mean she's angry, but it's her default face. A bitchface, Seth had called it more than once. She doesn't know what her face looks like now. She does know that she's biting her lip and running another hand through her hair, thinking of all the little things she'd dismissed before. Fatima walked with a limp and at the party, she'd sat in the kitchen with her mom and only her mom. She'd never thought to ask, but maybe her mom knew what Abeni's dad was like. Maybe, the thought of Leah hanging out with someone who'd kill their dad scared her. 

It didn't scare Leah, though.

She smiles. "I thought your whole 'if a man hurts you, kill him' thing was just because-"

"Because I'm a dyke," Abeni smirks at her friend. A subtle challenge written all over her eyes. Leah nods. "Being gay does help. If Delphine was gay, I'm sure she'd agree with me." 

"I agree with you," Leah says softly, softer than Abeni can remember it ever being. "He deserved it."

To her surprise, Abeni's smirk only widens. "That was a trap."

"What?"

"You agreed with me. You're gay now."

Leah stops biting her lip. She blinks before realizing her mistake and scowls. "I'm not gay." The words come out harsher than she intends, but Abeni doesn't falter.

"You agreed with me. You're gay now," Abeni repeats with a nod. Her eyes sparkling with mischief. "You've joined the he-man man-hater's club."

"It's he-man woman's hater's club," Leah retorts, imitating the high-pitched wine of a child. A smile growing on her face. They never should've watched _'The Little Rascals'_.

"Nope," Abeni leans her head on the car seat. "First rule of being gay: we make our own club names."

They laugh. Leah presses her head against the car seat. 

_'The person in front of me has killed someone',_ she thinks. Abeni, the girl who had found her on the side of the road and gave her weed. Abeni, the one she had spent practically all summer with, had killed someone. She didn't get caught. and she didn't regret it. The thought causes Leah to shiver for reasons other than fear.

Abeni arches a brow. "What?"

She imagines their faces must've gotten closer somewhere between their bursts of laughter. Leah has to move her eyes up to see the flick of her brow and then, down when her lips move. Her eyes linger there. 

Leah stiffens, instead leaning back in her chair to put distance between them. "My mom wants you to come over for dinner Friday."

Abeni's face cycles quickly through what Leah can only call the 7 stages of grief. 

"Why?"

"She says you guys didn't really meet before so," Leah shrugs. 

"So, she wants to ruin my life."

Leah rolls her eyes, ignoring her friend's comment. There were many ways the dinner could turn out. Abeni and her mom getting in a full out fight being the worst case scenario and her mom not suspecting Abeni of any crime being the best. No. That was a lie. The best case scenario was her father going fishing the day off and cooking his best dish, fish fry. Abeni and her mom were both too strong for their own good and Abeni was too crass, uncaring. She almost opens her mouth to ask Abeni to be nice, but bites her tongue. That was like asking Leah to be nice. Niceness was pointless. The most she could do was ask Abeni not to cause a fight and even that was asking too much.

"Well," Abeni begins after a pause. "Dinner will be interesting."

It takes everything in Leah not to groan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone willing to be a beta (heh) and proofread the chapters for me before I put them out? Comment down below!
> 
> This took forever because I really want to get to the supernatural big reveal, but there's so little that can realistically happen without making everyone out of character. Thanks everyone for all the kind words and the corrections (I still don't know how to spell vicious but I'm learning). I really do appreciate and re-read every word. Next chapter involves dinner, a party, Abeni and Leah getting drunk, and maybe a time skip. Stay safe.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abeni has a temper.

Sitting there in Leah's truck and hearing her acceptance come as quickly as night makes Abeni say," I love you." It's less of a confession and more of a reminder. The words fall out of her lips after they pull up to Abeni's house. The clock beams '6:57 PM' - one of the lines of the 7 flickers and flashes brightly and dull - but Abeni isn't paying attention to that. She's thinking about how she expected Leah to do more. Scream. Deny her. Leave. 

And there's another part of her, too. A bright red angry part that grows the longer they sit in her house's driveway talking. Several thoughts run through her head. Who was Delphine to judge her? Who was she to talk about what Abeni did to other people? _'Forbidden magic,'_ she said like their mom didn't slip love potions into their dad's coffee to lessen his temper. Like she hadn't moved across the country the moment she could. Bullshit. 

She squashes the anger and instead tells Leah she loves her. She says it mid-laugh to soften the blow, but Leah freezes all the same. Her teeth begin gnawing on her lip, her laughter frozen like the words snatch the breathe out of her.

She doesn't say it back. Abeni doesn't expect her to. She shakes her head and whispers something under her breathe in a different language, another tongue Abeni had heard briefly when she went to that one party the Clearwaters threw. A part of her imagines it is Leah's way of saying she loved her back. Another part, the bigger part of her swallowed by anger and rage, imagines the words leaving the ground of their friendship cracked and fissured. Abeni pretends she didn't hear her - the words quiet enough that she can pretend they got caught and muffled under the faint sound of a woman singing from inside her home.

They shut the car doors. They go inside. They have dinner with Abeni's mom. They fall asleep and Abeni dreams of a wolf. A grey wolf watching her from across a forest, shifting in the shadows from wolf to woman and then, back. 

She wakes up to the sound of the front door shutting quietly and footsteps on creaky stairs. The light is just beginning to filter in from outside, coloring their living room in a bluish grey, and rain pitter-patters against their roof. Any other time she might've put out a glass to collect the rainwater, but the anger still sits heavy on her. She feeds it, cares for it. Every step up the staircase another biting remark or question she had harbored against Delphine since they moved back.

When she opens the door to their room, Delphine stands there looking back at her with a lighter in her hand. Abeni's eyes flicker down to the flame and back up again to her face. Her sister's face is her own, but the details are shifted. Her hair had always been looser than Abeni's tight curl, but it is almost _too_ loose. Her eyes, always big, but now too wide. The corners of her lips more pronounced. Slight changes. Again, Abeni's eyes flicker to the flame and back. A bitter laugh leaving her lips as realization dawns on her.

"A glamour? Are you fucking kidding me?" Her voice raises and then, crescendos back down to a whisper. 

Delphine rolls her eyes and turns to the lone mirror against the wall. She lifts the lighter to her face, the flame licking almost every piece of skin off. Abeni tries not to grimace as burned flesh falls to the ground, curls up, and disappears. Poof. Like it never was there to begin with. Her sister turns to look back at her after a few moments. Her hair and face returned to normal. Those same deep drawn bags and default disgusted expression.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Abeni repeats the words slowly. Again, reminding herself to keep her voice low.

Delphine scrunches up her face, not in confusion but in annoyance. "It's 5 in the morning, Abeni," she says with a hint of finality. "I don't have time for... whatever you're upset about today." She shakes her head, running a hand through her hair, and turns to the dresser.

"You tell Sue Clearwater I'm practicing forbidden magic, but you're using glamours," Abeni takes a small tinge of pride, happiness, joy, call it whatever you want, at Delphine pausing her shuffling through the drawers. "You're such a fucking hypocrite."

"You killed someone," Delphine says slowly as if to a child. 

"He deserved to die-"

"Do you hear yourself? Do you really hear yourself?"

"You wouldn't even let me tell Leah about dad, but you get to go run your fucking mouth and tell all your frien-"

"You killed our dad," Delphine repeats urgently. Her nostrils flared. Her words slipping from English to Arabic quickly and without pause. Somehow the words sound more real in this language like the crime hangs heavy in the air. "You don't even know what I'm doing. There's no comparison."

And Abeni is speaking in Arabic, too, not out of anger. Not because it is easy, but to match her sister's energy. Even now, the words aren't as quick as her sister's. The difference between the two being one child who only speaks it to her mom and the other who knew enough of their mother's family - before their dad's last successful attempt at cutting communication- to have to speak to them, too. 

They speak like this. Back and forth. Saying the same thing over and over until their voices echo around the house. When asked by Leah on their way to school, Abeni will say she doesn't remember shoving Delphine. She remembers Delphine falling and somehow landing on top. Delphine's nails digging into her cheek - her arm and tugging at her braids, each time leaving the skin behind stinging. Her fist connecting with her sister's skull. It's funny how this is all colored red in her mind's eye. A blur in her memory singed with anger.

And then, Leah's arms lifting her up with ease and pushing her against the wall. Her bottom lip swollen and looking like it had been chewed raw. Abeni tries to shift or shove, but Leah's strong - stronger than Abeni remembers her being - and her grip on Abeni's arms don't budge. Umi is there, too. She stands in the doorway looking from one daughter to the next. Eyes wide and one hand covering her mouth.

Delphine stands. Her lips twisted in a snarl Abeni had seen much as a kid. They used to fight often. At first, because Abeni didn't think this life was real and then, because they were too different. Abeni too careless and Delphine too anxious. 

She doesn't say anything. She turns and leaves. Leah doesn't let Abeni go until the faint sound of a car engine revving and being pulled out of the driveway is heard.

* * *

Her lip is split. The right side of her face has puffy angry red lines that attract attention in the hallways. Everyone whispers. Abeni even catches sweet Angela talking to Lauren and glancing at her. Abeni assumes that at least, nine out of ten of the rumors floating about are racist. Drugs. Baby momma drama. She doesn't bother to ask. She doesn't want to know. 

It doesn't hit her until the final bell rings that the Cullens aren't there. She leans against Angela's car, eyes scanning the sea for Leah's infamous old truck when it hits her. Their cars, bright and new, are absent. The thought doesn't bother as much as she suspects it would've a day or two ago nor does the sight of Bella brooding make her curious. The only two feelings are the ones causing her stomach to twist into knots. Dread. Apprehension. Anxiety. The dread and apprehension she can pinpoint to her decking her sister, but the anxiety feels misplaced. 

"Your friend's running late," Angela offers. She smiles softly at Abeni, turning away from Mike and Jessica who are engaged in a heated argument. The words are enough to stop Jessica and cause her to turn. She looks across the parking lot.

"That girl whose always picking you up?" Abeni stares at her for a long moment before nodding. Jessica smiles. "She's so pretty."

"She is."

"Is she, like-" Jess's eyes flicker to Mike. She makes a vague hand motion. "-you know?"

Abeni quirks a brow. "You know?"

"One of your people?"

"Jess," Mike and Angela seem to say at the same time. 

"You mean, is she black?" Abeni offers, purposefully pretending she doesn't know the line of questioning. She smirks. "You can't just ask people if they're black, Jess."

She bites back a laugh at Jess's shriek and sputter. "That's not what I meant and you know that!"

"She isn't," Abeni's grin threatens to split her lip further. "She's Native-American."

Jessica rolls her eyes. "Haha, you're so funny," she retorts dryly. 

When Leah pulls up, Angela grabs Abeni's bags before she can reach for them, giving her a shy smile and an offer to carry her bag to the car. Abeni squints her eyes, but doesn't protest. 

"You're late."

"And you still have a black eye," Leah replies.

Abeni flips her off. Angela throws the bag in the front-seat, waving at Leah shyly. She tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Her gaze flickering from Abeni to Leah. It's an expression Abeni remembers Maria sending her the first day she popped in the clinic. It's a little bit too... familiar. She clicks her tongue. 

"Angela, this is Leah. Leah's an asshole."

Leah nods. Angela waves again. 

"So, you're from the reservation?" Leah nods. "Cool. We go there sometimes to, ah, visit the beach."

Maybe, Leah sees it, too. She shrugs and turns her head to stare in front. "The beach is nice."

Angela lingers for a moment - the dismissal taking longer to sit in - before she nods her head, walking back in the direction of her car. Watching her leave, a grin threatens to split Abeni's lip further. She swings herself into the seat and slams the door, turning her head to stare at her friend with that same grin.

Leah holds her gaze - a silent conversation taking place between the two -rolls her eyes, and starts the engine.

"No," she says simply.

"She's cute."

"I don't like girls."

"And you think the preacher's daughter does?" Abeni scoffs. The smile smaller now, but still dancing on her face. "She's probably just thinking she wants to be your friend." She leans forward in her seat, propping her head on her hands. "Your very close friend."

Despite herself, Leah slightly leans away as Abeni leans closer. She makes a point of turning her head to eye Abeni up and down. "Is that what you're wearing to the dinner tonight?"

Abeni withdraws as if slapped. "Shit. It's Friday." _That's_ where the anxiety came from. Shit. She looks down at her simple outfit; a long-sleeved shirt with a men's tee thrown over it and then, her eyes move to look at Leah's. Leah is dressed in a tank top, flannel wrapped around her waist, and a pair of low-hanging jeans. To her, they look just about dressed for the same occasion. She nods.

Leah doesn't say anything for the rest of the ride. Call it nerves. Call it whatever. Abeni imagines the thought of her meeting Leah's mom formally without any distractions has her mind spiraling - taking up too much space in her brain for conversation - so, Abeni talks. She talks and talks about nothing, giving herself a point each time one of Leah's nervous ticks disappear. She relaxes her shoulders? A point. She rolls her eyes? A point. She stops biting her lip raw? Five points.

Abeni has twenty points by the time they walk up to the Clearwater's front step. She makes the mistake of thinking the house is quiet, that is until she hears a prepubescent voice scream 'they're here', and the sound of another deeper voice saying 'shut up'. 

"Jacob's over," Leah says with a sigh. "Of course."

She opens the door and Abeni follows her inside, pausing only to take off her shoes at the door. Immediately, two boys run up to them. One, taller with long hair thrown behind his head in a bun, and the other, shorter one with the same eyes at Leah. The younger one, the one who Abeni knew to be Seth, pauses at the sight of her. His face a comical mix of surprise and confusion. Whatever greeting he had lost. Jacob joins him when he turns his gaze from Leah to her. They both simply stare.

The sound of skin slamming against skin breaks the silence. Leah's fist connects with her brother's arm and then, Jacob's. 

"Don't be fucking rude." She folds her arms, staring them down in a silent command.

They grin at Abeni sheepishly, muttering their 'hello's' and pleasantries through winces. 

Abeni knows it's the scars on her face. She hadn't looked at herself in the mirror since the morning, but she knows they must've gotten worse over the course of the day. The black eye darker and the harsh lines her sister gave her, still puffy and scabbing a bit over. She likes to think the bloodied and battered makes her look hot, mysterious even, but perhaps, that was an overestimate. Perhaps, she just looks bloodied and battered.

She hopes her sister looks worse. 

"Mom!" Leah calls, leading Abeni through the hallway to the kitchen. Abeni almost reaches for her hand. Her fingers dropping when she remembers how little her and Leah actually touched like that. 

Sue sits in the kitchen. One eyebrow arched as she leans back in her chair - the same chair she sat in the night of that one party - and a magazine propped open. She glances up at them when they enter and then, she glances up again as they get closer, eyes lingering on Abeni's face, but her expression not betraying anything. Sue was like Leah only composed. She lacked all the feralness and anger that made Leah easy to lean into. She was every bit calculated where her daughter was impulsive. She gave the impression that she not only saw you, but saw through you down to your bits and bones. The thought unnerved Abeni and made her itch.

That, and she was hot. 

And she had judged Abeni for doing so-called _bad_ things. Whatever the fuck that meant. 

"Abeni," Leah says without grace, gesturing to her friend. "I brought her."

Sue slowly places the magazine down. Her eyes dancing from Abeni to Leah and back. Her face, similar to her son's but lacking surprise, as her eyes move over each new scar on Abeni's face. 

Abeni almost opens her mouth to tell her what happened, but decides not to give her the satisfaction. Delphine must've went to work with the scars. Sue could figure out 2+2.

"Hi, Mrs. Clearwater," she says sweetly. The smile not quite reaching her eyes. 

"You're the one I've been hearing so much about." Sue stands. Abeni's not surprised - annoyed wouldn't cut it either - to find she's much taller than Abeni as well. She eyes Leah who Abeni just notices is back to being tense and moves to the stove. "My daughter isn't too keen on us meeting."

"I couldn't possibly know why." Abeni tries to ignore Leah's not so subtle glare and fails. Her lips quirk into a smirk just as Sue turns to glance at her.

Sue makes a quiet sound in her throat in response, picking up a spoon from a bowl and stirring whatever is in the pot. "That's interesting. I've never known Leah to hold back."

Again, Abeni finds herself wanting to explain and squashes it. Sue lived with Leah. She understood sarcasm. Abeni was overthinking things. Instead of responding, she turns to the wooden table Leah had told her once her dad crafted. It looked like the type of furniture people in her dreams spent over 400 dollars on. Finely crafted, but quirky. A collection of planks nailed together that took to the stain differently. She ran a thumb over the crack between two planks, expecting to feel the piece where the wood misaligned, and finding none. It was smooth.

"You like that?" 

When she turns her head, Harry Clearwater's eyes widen. He's older than she imagined. Unlike Sue, his grey hair colors his entire head stormy and his skin is weathered, hanging in the places it overflows and sinking in the spots there's not enough. He seems like the type of man who smiles and laughs often. The crow lines by his eyes and the creases near his lip emphasize his joy. 

"It's beautiful. Leah told me you made it."

"Always a humble one, Leah." Harry grins. "She's a liar. She made it, too."

"Of course she did," Abeni quips. 

Before she knows it, the fish fry on the stove is finished. Abeni realizes she'd never been in a home so loud before. There was never silence. When people didn't speak, they hummed or the radio played or the boys could be heard shouting somewhere. There was no one sound. At parties, it was either the music or people talking. At school, it was the teacher speaking or Abeni listening to the sound of her food chewing in her jaw, a weird thing she did that dulled the noise. There was too much overlapping at the Clearwaters. Several times she tensed and several times Leah made some excuse that required her to go outside and dragged Abeni with her. The first time the sun was still high in the sky, peaking thinly behind the clouds. In the distance, Abeni could hear people laughing and the sound of waves. The second and third and fifth time Abeni can only hear waves. 

Abeni shows her their shed on the fifth time. In the shed, there's lots of tools Abeni doesn't have the name for. Leah tells her the names, but she doesn't care enough to remember them. The shed is filled with wood projects, some finished some unfinished. Her favorite is a blueprint Leah has hanging on one wall - a crude drawing of one of Leah's dreams. She had a lot of them that much Abeni knew. This dream was a school bus complete with a shower and a bed where Abeni imagined Leah would sleep.

"You want to live in a bus?" She asks when she first sees it.

"I did." Abeni turns to look at Leah and she shrugs sheepishly. "I _do_. It seems like it'd be fun. Leaving whenever I want to. Having my own space."

"Would you work?"

Leah shrugs again. "I'd sell my art. Pick up odd jobs."

Abeni smiles softly at that, ignoring the drop in her stomach at the thought of the future. She hadn't given it much thought. She just thought Leah would always be there and life would somehow figure itself out from there. 

"I'm coming with you," she says.

Maybe it's a trick of the light, but Abeni swears she sees Leah's face soften before she rolls her eyes. "Did I say you could?"

"Did I ask for permission?" Abeni retorts quickly.

Sue's voice calls them just as Leah opens her mouth to respond. Abeni smirks and the two girls make their way back inside. 

Abeni isn't surprised to find the boys are already at the table and the dishes already set. Seth grins up at her- his mouth stuffed with food. 

"Sorry. Seth couldn't wait," Sue offers with a 'what-can-you-do' shrug.

Abeni sits at the closest seat next to Jacob and Leah sits across from her. They talk about everything it seems even food doesn't stop them from speaking. Abeni learns that Jacob likes repairing cars. Seth likes... everything. Sue asks her questions and Abeni tries her best to answer. They talk and talk and talk-

"So, ah, Abeni?" Jacob hunches over in his chair, apparently trying to make himself as small as her. An attempt at making her more comfortable, she guesses.

She really fucking hates tall people. Instead of responding, she pauses her fork and turns to him, silently asking him to continue.

"Do you know Bella?" At her blank stare, he continues. "Brown hair. Really pale. She's, um -"

"Charlie Swan's daughter?" Harry interjects from his seat beside Sue.

"- yeah! She's, um, Charlie Swan's daughter."

_'Oh you like her,'_ she thinks. She pities him as much as she pities Bella. Abeni couldn't imagine Bella having eyes for anyone but her boyfriend.

"The one dating Edward Cullen?" She responds innocently. Not innocently enough for she can feel Leah's scowl before she even looks at her. The table falls quiet. A tension blanketing over the previous cheeriness.

Jacob glances away from her. His voice turning from excited to belated. "Yeah, that's her."

"I know her, but we're not friends," she says bluntly, taking slight joy in the way his eyebrows raise. "Her boyfriend doesn't like me."

It catches her eye how Sue perks slightly at the information. 

"Why?" Jacob asks. 

Abeni grins. "Do I seem like the type of person he would want around his girlfriend?"

Leah snorts. 

"She makes a fair point," Seth offers. His hands gesture to his face. The words a garbled mess, hidden in-between bits of fish and soup. 

"Seth," Sue warns. She turns to Abeni. Her head cocked slightly to the side. "You mentioned something before about magic?"

Abeni looks down at her plate. "Did I?"

She hadn't.

"Yes," Sue continues. "What're your thoughts on magic?"

She can feel Leah staring at her. She looks up and shrugs. "What kind of magic?"

"B-"

"Any," Leah interjects, shooting her mom a quick glare. Abeni could kiss her.

"It depends on the culture. What one magical tradition considers bad another might consider good. Love spells. Killing curses," she says, making purposeful eye contact with Sue. "It's not like Harry Potter. Real life's complicated. I'm sure Quileute culture has some... morally questionable magic that's accepted."

Sue and Harry exchange a weighted glance. Abeni smiles triumphantly. "See?" She says, not letting hte moment pass unnoticed. "You do."

"We do?" Leah questions, staring at her parents. Harry shakes his head.

"You know we come from wolves, Abeni," Seth remarks eagerly, oblivious to the glares of his family. 

Abeni winces, trying to maintain her smile. "Wolves?"

Seth bobs his head.

"So, you guys are like werewolves basically? Half-man half-wolf," she jokes, wincing again. The pressure in her head growing. 

' _This is new,'_ she silently muses. She catches Leah's eye and quirks a brow, silently questioning her friend for never mentioning that. She understood why. People had to keep their secrets. Protect their cultures. God only knew how many witch practices Abeni kept hidden from Leah, but there was still something not quite right. A forced veil over that specific topic akin to the ones over the Cullens. This one being thicker and harder to see through. 

"It's just a legend," Jacob says with a shrug. "I'm sure your people have them, too."

"My people," Abeni rolls the words in her mouth. Her thoughts drifting to her umi's tales of their heritage. Black rootworkers extending back generations and generations. Jacob pauses - his eyes wide and ready to defend himself - but Abeni simply continues. "I guess that's true."

"What else do the legends say?" She says with a furrow of her brows. Her question pointed at Jacob and a quick glance at Seth. The dull ache in her head increasing.

Jacob shrugs again, a nervous laugh tumbling out of his lips. "Lots of things."

Abeni quirks her head to the side, eyes flickering to Leah. Her friend looks annoyed - that much she can conclude - the unusual quietness masking her anxiety.

"Do your legends say anything about people who don't breathe?"

"Like zombies," Seth proclaims at the same time Sue repeats the words.

"Yeah, like, people who are really pale and don't breathe."

Leah kicks her lightly under the table.

"Our _history_ -" Harry begins, carefully emphasizing the word. "-tells of all things our people have witnessed."

"Is that a yes or a-" The phone rings loudly from the kitchen, slicing through Abeni's head and cutting her sentence off prematurely. Harry lifts out of his seat in a slow and almost painful motion, holding up his hand when Sue offers to help him. It seems normal enough that no one, but Abeni and Leah shift. Leah's expression tightens - her eyes quickly averting their gaze from her dad down to her plate. Abeni tries not to watch him as he walks to the kitchen and fails. Her eyes flickering obviously from him to Leah and back again.

"What were you saying, Abeni?" Sue asks. 

"I-"

"I think Abeni's done talking for the day," Leah interrupts.

"No, I don't think she is," Abeni quips quickly. in response."I think-" she holds up one finger, eyes wide and eyebrows raised in mock excitement. "-she actually might have more to say.."

Abeni turns her head to Sue, not waiting for a response. "Does your history tell anything of really pale people-"

"White people are everywhere," Leah remarks gruffly.

"-who don't breathe? Specifically," Abeni adds.

"Oh," Seth exclaims suddenly in realization. "You mean, vampires?"

The words hit her. Her vision blurs. Shifts. She leans back in her seat, blinking rapidly. The stern voice of Sue telling her they didn't have myths of vampires became void. Abeni didn't know what she was realizing, but it was causing her gut to turn and her vision to shake. 

"Fuck," she mutters, rubbing at her eyes, trying to block whatever epiphany was making her head feel like it was splitting open. Her gut knew. She knew, but she couldn't bring herself to consciously think the words. Her headache was a blaring red siren - no longer a warning - blocking out all semblance of language. She clutches at her scalp, turning from the table to lean over and clutch her head.

_'Vampires,'_ she thinks. 

Her vision blocks out. All she remembers next is waking up on her side, her mouth tasting faintly of blood.

"Fuck," she repeats. Leah is beside her, staring down at her with a mixture of apprehension and worry creasing her brow. 

"She's awake," Leah shouts. 

Abeni chuckles despite herself. She lifts one hand and points at her friend. ""

Leah drops whatever it is she was holding in her hand - Abeni realizes with a jolt it was her head - and grimaces.

"Is she alright?" Sue asks. Abeni lifts her eyes to see the older Clearwater holding a first aid kit. 

"Same as she was before," Leah remarks dryly. Sue leans down beside Abeni and commands her to open her mouth. She turns her head this way and that, inspecting her with a flashlight and then, again with a cotton swab.

"Are seizures normal for you?" She asks.

Abeni can feel Leah's eyes boring a hole into her scalp. She shakes her head.

"She faints a lot," Leah says, ignoring Abeni's glare. 

"This is your first time having a seizure?"

Abeni nods.

"You should go to the hospital."

"I can't afford a hospital. I can call Dr. Cullen." She still had his number. He could inspect her. She could get some answers. 

"The Cullens aren't in Forks anymore," Harry says simply. His gravely voice carrying from the kitchen. Sue gazes at her husband. Their expressions not shifting, but their eyes speaking volumes. "I'll bring you to the clinic."

"I'm coming," Leah says quickly and before Abeni can blink, she's already up, moving to grab her jacket and handing her dad the truck's keys. She blinks again and she's lifted in the air, body thrown over Leah's shoulder halphazardly - Leah doesn't even seem to heed her mom's hushed 'careful' - and they're out the door. 

Leah knows Abeni's head isn't in the right place. The girl says not a suggestive comment or swear when she's thrown over her shoulder, and she merely huffs when Leah places her gently in the truck's passenger seat. She swings herself over and into the truck's backside as her father revs the engine.

As they drive, she swears she sees shapes shifting in the shadows of the trees. Flashes of grey and brown illuminated by the streetlights. Golden eyes flash once seeming to stare at her when her dad stops at a red light. She blinks and the eyes are gone. It's the experience of being watched that causes her to lie down in the truck, content to stare at the night sky until the engine shuts off.

When she steps out of the back, there's no mistake that there is something coming out of the trees. She thinks it's a pack of wolves - she's sure it's a pack of wolves, but Abeni's grunt as she leaves the car distracts her. Turning her head back, she has to blink repeatedly. She had somehow mistaken her boyfriend and his group of friends for wolves. Fitting. She scowls.

"I just can't escape this bitch," she mumbles. 

"What bitch?" Abeni asks, shutting the car door.

Leah points and Abeni nods in understanding. "That bitch."

As Sam gets closer, both girls take great pride in his disgruntled expression - the way his eyebrows furrow and his gaze shifts wearily from one to the next. 

"He heard us," Abeni whispers with a satisfied smirk. 

Harry leans over the car window to stare down at them. "You girls head inside. I'll catch up with you."

Leah cocks a brow. "Why?" She asks, folding her arms. 

"Leah."

"What could you possibly have to talk to them about?"

"Leah, go inside with your friend," Harry says firmly.

"This is bullshit." 

She slams the door on her way inside, but the glass does nothing more than vibrate.

The Quileute Health Clinic is small and their team of medical staff smaller. Leah knows the lady at the front desk vaguely in the way she knows everyone on the reservation. Someone's cousin or her cousin or one of those women her mom hung out with on weekends. She nods at Leah in casual acknowledgement. When her gaze finds Abeni, she blinks slowly, shaking the sleep out of her eyes. 

"You're Delphine's sister?" She asks mid-yawn.

Abeni grins. A tiny pool of blood gathers on the cut of her lip. "How could you tell?"

_'Now's the best time as anything,'_ Abeni thinks as the nurse leads her to the back. If she faints, she'll be okay. She lets herself string the one thought she'd been pushing and squashing to the back of her mind forward. 

_'The Cullens are vampires.'_

And there was nothing she could do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta and all your comments :). They've been really helping me get through these past few troubling weeks. This story is such a nice break for me and I hope it is for you.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short bridge between then and the time-skip to happen next chapter.

"Real eyes realize real lies."

"Is that supposed to be fucking deep? Because it's not," Leah holds her hand up to squeeze her nose and takes a deep breathe. "You had a seizure, Bee. Out of nowhere."

"Can we just go to this party?" Abeni tugs on the tank top Leah had loaned her, peering at herself in the bedroom mirror. What would've been the right amount of snug on Leah squeezes at Abeni's everything. Her boobs look ready to burst. The hem slightly rising to expose one of her tattoos. "This is so tight."

Leah turns around. Her figure in the mirror looking stuck and dumbstruck, her mouth forming a thin line. For a brief moment, Abeni thinks she sees something in her gaze. It flashes and disappears just as she catches it. 

"You look fine." Leah plops on the bed and turns to look out the window. 

Sensing the shift in Leah's mood, Abeni plops on the bed. She waits until Leah finally turns to look at her. Her brown eyes seeming darker, holding an intensity that Abeni tries to ignore... but she can't. Leah's eyes seem determined to travel no further south than her nose. 

"The only reason we're still here is because you can't decide what to wear."

"Fine. I'll wear this," Abeni grumbles. The shirt seems to ride higher, determined to expose more of her torso. Her leggings doing little to hide anything. Every curve and divet accentuated. She saunters over to the closet, wrapping one of Leah's baggier sweaters around her waist and stands in-front of the mirror. Leah didn't have any eyeshadow or makeup- a thought that annoys Abeni. Black eyeshadow might've made the look more badass.

Instead her black eye still stands stark and raw. Her face, less swollen, but still the scars are noticeable. At least, she has her hoops. 

She smirks at herself in the mirror. "Do you know what they call me in Harlem?"

"No, I don't." She can hear the small smile in Leah's words.

Abeni raises her hand and grabs a chunk of her ass. "Thick," she says, emphasizing and drawing out the word. 

Both her and Leah laugh. Although, Abeni's is larger and louder. Leah's laugh ends sooner and in the mirror, she pauses to see her friend. Her outfit exposes more skin than Leah remembers her ever seeing, even in the summer where Abeni wore dresses. This is the first time Leah can remember seeing her wear clothes so _tight_. She swallows deeply. 

"Let's go," she stands and cocks her head to the door. She hadn't changed. Everyone on the rez knew what she looked like. Same Leah with the short hair. She had let Abeni braid half her hair, but that had been all.

They follow the sound of laughter and the smell of food. The reservation small enough that they don't have to wander far off the road to Leah's house before they hear the noises. Some part of Leah was apprehensive. Abeni would draw attention. Leah would draw attention. _Sam_ would be there. 

Abeni shoves her shoulder - a small smile on her face - and Leah returns her smile, reminding herself to relax.

* * *

"I'm taking one of these." Abeni grabs a beer, snatching it back from one of the boy's outstretched hands.

He tilts his head to the side. His mouth half-open as he assesses her. "I know you. You're Leah's friend."

Abeni blinks, looking around at the sea of faces. It was funny. Leah had just been right by her. She must've lost her sometime between seeing the alcohol and making a beeline for it. The boy is pretty, really. His long black hair is piled atop his head in a messy bun. Muscular. Cocky look in his eye. He looks like the kind of guy a different her might've been friends with. 

Deeper under the cocky glint is... apprehension. Cautiousness. Definitely someone she'd be friends with if only so, she could find out why.

"Paul. Leave her be." And then, Sam comes and dashes any hope of that fantasy. He places a hand on the boy's shoulder. His eyes shifting from her to him rapidly. 

"Yeah, Paul," Abeni smirks. "Leave me be."

She grabs another beer and stuffs it in her elbow crook. She shakes it. "For Leah. You know, the one you fucked over."

The moment Paul's nostrils flare Abeni steels herself. His shoulders tense and he steps forward, his mouth opening up to defend his friend. Like this, he reminds her of her dad. The similarities lie in the details. The way his muscles gear up as if he's ready to pounce. The quick switch from interest, possibly even warmth, to anger. The comparison jars her - almost forces her back to her smaller self- but another image comes to her mind's eyes vividly. Her father, dead and on the ground bloody.

_'Oh that's right. He's not here. He can't hurt me anymore.'_

Ignoring her own panic, she stares Paul down.

"You don't know shit," he spits. 

Him and Sam make eye contact and he turns abruptly away from her, seething off into the crowd and disappearing. 

"Is she okay?" Sam asks. 

Abeni nods. Of course, Leah's okay. She doesn't have a choice. Letting grief turn you docile was a privilege they didn't have. Leah's dad was too sick to work. She was poor. She had to deal with her grief, pack it, and look forward. This wasn't a fact of life Abeni believed in, but it was a fact regardless. Her mom lived it. Delphine did. She was sure Sue did, too. Grief isn't patient with women like them. 

Which is why, Leah deserves a beer. Or two. Abeni grabs a third bottle and makes her way through the crowd to find her friend. She finds Leah off on the outskirts of the party, shifting and moving to glance through the crowd. When she sees Abeni she perks up just slightly. Her eyes move from Abeni's face down to the bottles in her hand and she squints, turning her head to the side in puzzlement.

"Two for you. One for me." She hands Leah a bottle.

"Where did you get this?"

"That's not important." Abeni pops open the bottle and takes a swig. She hadn't realized how much she missed alcohol. It tastes like long nights spent in stranger's apartments. She can already tell her time spent not drinking is going to catch up and smack her across the face. "Wait. I never asked. Do you even drink?"

Leah shrugs, popping the top off the bottle with ease. "Only at parties."

They don't know when they finish the three bottles or when Abeni magically produces more. They do know that by the time the sky has turned twilight, they're drunk enough that Leah's laughing wildly. It's weird. Well, Abeni would think it was weird if she wasn't drunk, too. Leah is loose. She moves freely and smiles often. It's as if the alcohol dug out all the parts of her she tried to hide.

Drunk Abeni is the opposite. A controlled mess. Abeni without a filter. Abeni knows this. 

"You dress gay, Leah," Abeni states plainly.

Leah chokes. She stares at her friend. Her cheeks puffy with food and her brows furrowed together. "Me.. gay?"

"No, you dress gay." Abeni gestures to her friend's apparel - a pair of cut-off shorts, scuffed boots, and old white tank top- with a wave of her hands. "Gay."

She gulps down whatever chunk of food was lodged in her throat. "How do you dress gay?"

"Be Leah."

Leah punches her hard enough she's sure it'll bruise in the morning. Her expression shifting to uncertainty. "They used to say that in school before... Sam."

"Were you?"

Leah shakes her head. She pauses as if second-guessing herself, shrugging her shoulders. "Maybe."

Abeni's heart catches in her throat, but Leah's already moving before she can ask her to explain. Gently pulling Abeni over to a tree log and tugging her arm down to sit. When Abeni stumbles her way into sitting, she leans into Leah. The heat of the fire stopping the September cold from causing her to lean closer into Leah's warmth. She looks around - noticing for the first time how people had quieted and the music had stopped. Others around them sat on logs, too, or opted to sit on the floor. A few stood. Namely, Sam and his group of friends stood off to the right. Abeni made the motion to stand herself, but Leah throwing one leg over her own stops her just as she moves to lift. She collapses back on the seat with a pout.

A sober her would be able to focus on what the elders are saying, but drunk her is getting distracted by too many different trains of thoughts. Vampires. Leah's leg thrown over hers. Vampires. Whatever the fuck caused her head to hurt at the dinner last night. Vampires. The way the fire was bleeding into everyone, blurring her vision. She had to physically stop herself from swaying. All her brain could catch were the Cullens being mentioned and that did little to surprise her, Leah already told her this was to celebrate them leaving. 

If she paid attention, she would've caught the story Billy weaved - their tribes origin story connecting them to wolves and the land around them. She would've heard the Quileute language and the familiar phrase Leah said to her when Abeni told her she loved her, a simple phrase weaved into one of their tribe's story. What Abeni didn't realize was the fog on her mind wasn't simply because of alcohol - the protection spell her umi created for her family weaving tighter with each push to know more.

The fog doesn't exist for Leah, though. She listens slowly - her brain working quickly, but not quickly enough, to take all of the troubling bits of information and shuffle them away for later.

Abeni only realizes they've stopped speaking when Leah removes her legs from Abeni's lap. 

The next morning she wakes up in Leah's bed, curled up next to her best friend. There's a puddle of drool next to her face and it wets the strands of Leah's hair. They're a mess of tangled limbs. One of Abeni's arms is asleep underneath Leah's waist. Leah's legs are looped around Abeni's and the blanket lay in a piled heap on the floor. At first, Abeni thought the room was warm. On second thought she realizes the heat is coming from Leah's body and Leah's body alone. 

Abeni tried to pretend she was still sleeping, but she must've moved or shifted her breathing because Leah was quick to wake up after her. She turns over to face her, blinks groggily, and snaps up so fast she clutches her head and winces.

"I drooled on your hair," Abeni says as she wipes the spit from her mouth. Leah touches her hair and frowns. 

"Seriously?"

"You know I drool."

"Not on me."

Abeni shrugs. "There's a first time for everything, I guess."

Leah brings Abeni to the women's shelter because it's Sunday morning - her old truck wheezing and groaning the whole way through. Abeni tries to squash her excitement. She doesn't mention to Leah that the Cullens are vampires or how Rosalie is one, too. She keeps quiet, knowing that her friend appreciates the silence with her hangover and trying her best not to vibrate out of the seat. 

When she arrives at the shelter, Rosalie isn't there. Abeni knew the Cullens had left town, but she expected -hoped - that Rosalie would at least, come to the shelter and say goodbye. Of course, she had no reason to. They weren't that close despite the rumors, but it didn't stop Abeni from hoping. 

The shelter is more dreary than usual. A woman came in to the shelter yesterday weeping uncontrollably and now refuses to talk at all, Maria tells her. And Abeni can't help but think that if she were a vampire, she would've killed whoever did that to her. But then, she remembers that she's not a vampire. She's better. She's a witch. A rootworker. She could do that and more. 

The thought only grows each second she's spent in a car with her sister. The silence between them lasting the hour long drive back from the shelter to their home. The anger rushes over the disappointment of not seeing Rosalie. It squashes it. It gives Abeni a new drive and goal until she saw the Cullens again. 

Nevermind that Abeni knew this was just her being rebellious. Nevermind that she knew this could come back to her horribly.

Abeni needed to get back on track. Forget the Cullens. She'd use her dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fatima's spell pf protection blocks Abeni from knowing the truth about werewolves. Abeni's spell she did to reveal the truth about the Cullens worked, but Fatima's spell of protection blocks anything that can potentially harm her family. The werewolves are included in that block and it's why Abeni... just ghosts over it when it's brought up and doesn't make the connection.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abeni doesn't know how to mind her business.

"The Cullens are vampires." Abeni sliding to Bella's side is quick and unprovoked. In any other time, Bella might've jumped, but she was three months deep into her depression. She blinks - her hand curling around the handle of her truck's door. She attempts to open it - to pretend Abeni never said anything - but the girl presses her body against the door, slamming it shut with a click.

When Bella looks up, Abeni smiles sweetly. 

"What makes you say that?"

"Rosalie told me." At Bella' expression, Abeni shakes her head. "She told me before they left."

Bella thinks that's something Edward would've mentioned. She didn't think the Cullens would share their secret with a girl Edward had blatantly told Bella to stay away from. She couldn't imagine Rosalie becoming friends with anyone - let alone telling someone her family's biggest secret. There was a lot Bella didn't know, though. Once upon a time, she would've never thought Edward would leave her.

Yet here she was. 

"So, what are you gonna do? Edward's not here." There it is again. The sulking of shoulders. The will to live gone from the eyes like a poof of smoke.

Bella imagines she sees a flicker of irritation in Abeni's face - the flick being quickly muffled, smothered, by a car honking in the distance. Abeni turns her head and screams for whoever to hold on. 

"I'm not gonna do anything," Abeni shrugs, lifting her body off the door. "I just want you to know that I know."

"Oh." Bella pauses. "That's it?"

"Well, yeah. They're really not coming back?"

Bella shakes her head.

"And you're really gonna let yourself go to shit because of it?" Abeni watches her with an unimpressed tilt of her head and cock of her brow - her lips lilted downwards in disgust. She watched Bella like that often and unashamedly. The irritation behind her eyes growing by day. 

And Bella could see herself through Abeni's eyes, withering away and sitting at the Cullen's table. Talking to no one. Bella had heard Lauren and Jess talk often about Abeni and the girl from the reservation that she hung out. Maybe, Abeni had inherited some of their hatred for the Cullens and couldn't understand Bella's love for Edward. 

Bella doesn't respond. She makes way to get in her car. She doesn't have to look to know Abeni pities her.

Which is why she's surprised to find Abeni sitting with her at lunch the next day. She doesn't do this once. She sits with her for the entirety of November. Bella doesn't know why Abeni forces herself to sit with her at lunch and next to her in class. She isn't good company. She hasn't showered in weeks. The first time she sat with her Bella had fumbled for words and tried to fill the silence with pitiful attempts at small talk.

"We don't have to speak," Abeni said, cutting through whatever was going to roll out of Bella's mouth. "I know you keep asking questions because you think you have to, but we can just sit in silence. Seriously."

Abeni's words sound less like she's concerned with Bella's wellbeing and more like she's annoyed, but Bella takes it anyways. They spend November and December sitting in silence. Some days, Abeni brought a book. Other days, she wrote furiously on scraps of paper. 

Bella comes to enjoy it. Their little ritual.

When Charlie threatens to send Bella back to Arizona, Abeni is one of the people she reaches out to. She even finds herself a bit upset when Abeni rejects her offer: "Can't go. Got plans," is the simple excuse she offers.

Bella finds out later from Jessica that those plans involved the Quileute girl who almost always picked Abeni up from school. At the movies, she says it like a secret. Her expression lighting up animatedly at the opportunity to dish gossip. Of course, Bella knew Abeni was gay. Once Jessica found out everyone did. Even as far removed from Forks High gossip as she was, Bella knew Abeni's life was a hot topic of discussion. The beautiful Quileute girl who picked her up after school almost every day? Secret lover. The day she came into school with a black eye and cut lip? Drugs. Gang violence. 

"... I mean, I love gay people. My uncle's gay, but it's just weird that she hasn't hooked up with anyone, you know?" Jessica continues as they walk into the movie. "I get that we don't have a lot of diversity-" Jess drags the word out like it's gum on the bottom of her shoe. "- but, she doesn't even look at the girls here. Do you know anything Bella?"

Bella has to twist her upper body to look at her as they find their seats. "Why would I know anything?"

"You're friends with someone from the reservation, right?"

Bella makes a small sound of confirmation as she sits down in the seat. She _should_ reach out to Jacob. Maybe Charlie seeing her with his best friend's son would halt the breaks on all thoughts concerning her and Arizona.

"People talk." Someone behind them shushes her. Jessica continues speaking in a lower tone. "They're big on continuing the bloodline and all that. If one of them is a lesbian, I'm sure it's front page news."

Part of Bella has a slight suspicion that that's racist, but she doesn't comment on it. The movie begins.

* * *

"Abeni?" Jacob repeats loudly. Bella had forgot to ask him about her the Saturday they hung out. She thought it best to ask him now when the Clearwaters were over and everyone was speaking over one another. She thought it'd be a quick thing, an easy quip that would get drowned out and dismissed, but Jacob's loud. The others conversation goes quiet.

Seth speaks before Jacob can. "That's my sister's friend," he says with a grin. 

Bella looks up to glance at Leah and finds her staring back. She quickly looks away.

"Leah," Billy calls. "Abeni's the one you brought with you to that party in September?"

"The one she spends all her time with," snickers Seth.

Leah nods, ignoring her brother. Her hand covers the phone's receiver.

It makes sense to Bella that Leah's the girl Jessica had been talking about. She looked like the kind of girl Abeni would hang out with. Wild and beautiful. Nothing like the girls in their school.

"She must be a big deal," Charlie says. He claps his hand down on Billy's shoulder. "Not just anyone gets invited to a Quileute party."

They all laugh. The laughter dispelling any tension created by Bella's name drop. Soon, Leah removes her hand from the receiver and continues talking. Conversations overlap and the loudness returns.

Bella feels at home.

* * *

"You should cut your hair," Abeni plops into the seat next to her at the long abandoned Cullen table. One thing Bella always admired about Abeni was how her hair shapeshifted. Today her hair's in a thick halo around her head. 

"What?"

"Jess is telling everyone you're some adrenaline junkie. She said that you got on some random guy's motorcycle." Bella can tell she's impressed and she's surprised to find that she _wants_ to impress Abeni. "If you're looking for a thrill, cut your hair. Trust me."

Bella's hand immediately goes to her hair. It was one of the things Edward loved about her. 

"It grows back," Abeni offers with a shrug.

She can feel her fingers itch at the thought. Had Bella ever cut her hair? She doesn't remember. Maybe, once in first grade, but she always kept her hair to her back even in the heat of Arizona. It wasn't that she was particularly attached to her hair - she just couldn't imagine herself without it. 

"I'm not an adrenaline junkie," Bella says a bit too slow. She wants to say she just misses Edward, but Abeni wasn't Angela. She wouldn't comfort her.

"You're chasing _something_ ," Abeni replies. Her eyes a bit too knowing. "A certain vampire?"

Bella hushes her and looks around, but no one is sitting close to their table. No one's even paying attention. Abeni's smile grows.

"You can't just say it," Bella reprimands.

"They're not here to stop me." And there it is in Abeni's voice - that same want that haunts Bella. For the first time in a long time, curiosity plucks at Bella's nerves. Abeni beats her to it. "Was it scary?"

"Was what scary?"

"Being with him," Abeni continues simply. She leans forward slightly though her tone doesn't sound any more comforting than before. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"No," she says although her voice is unconvincing. "It wasn't."

Abeni must pick up on it. She cocks her head to the side and stares at Bella. Stares through her. It makes Bella want to keep talking.

"He's never hurt me." Abeni raises an eyebrow disbelievingly. She continues. "He's not a bad guy," Bella says defensively.

"I never said he was," Abeni responds. She pushes herself away from the table. "Regardless, I think cutting your hair would be good for you."

It's when Bella is at home that she contemplates it. The scissors sit dangerously close to her twitching hands, the fragment of Edward's ghost becoming brighter with each thought. She could do it so easily. Hair always grew back. She almost laughs at the thought of her going to Jacob's house and his reaction - she's sure he'd congratulate her. He loved when she was bold.

' _Bella, please,'_ Edward's fragment says to her. She can imagine his horror - feel it as if it was her own. The scissors could slip. She could get a papercut. She could cut too close to the scalp and spiral even deeper than she already was. She takes a chance and snips a few off her ends. _'Bella. Stop it.'_ Edward calls to her, but he's fading now. The action isn't enough.

She snips close to her scalp. One piece after another. Edward wavers in and out, pleading one moment and staring in concern the next. Like this, she looks like a boy. Nothing like Alice with her perfect pixie cut. Her brown hair spikes from her head in uneven chops and layers. It doesn't help that bags decorate her eyes. She wonders if her nightmares will even be able to find her with how removed she looks from herself.

When she sleeps, she doesn't just dream of fire - Abeni sits in the corner of the memory, watching, the flame coloring her skin orange and setting her ablaze.

* * *

**Abeni**

Going into people's dreams was the easy part. The hard part, the difficult one, was escaping the fire. No matter where Abeni went it followed her - a remnant of her own mind, a tether binding her to her body. Last night, she had slipped into Bella's head and the flame was there, waiting. She sat in the fire while the Cullens threw bits of a decapitated body in. They didn't look human. The flame made them ghastly. Too pale. Too perfect. All the right angles and the life sucked dry from behind their eyes. 

She lied. The hard part wasn't escaping the fire. The hard part was snuffing people with their dreams - a trick she had managed to do six times and truly, she wasn't sure if it was her doing or wishful thinking. Two men died peacefully in their sleep. Another one or two - the first minds she walked through - had been a bit more gruesome. She wasn't used to walking through people's dreams and truthfully, it was _difficult_ teetering the line between wake and sleep. A light touch was required so, the person reenacted their dreams in real life. 

The first deaths had been all over the news. Two men in the same night had jumped out of their bedroom windows - a disturbance that created a mixed reaction for their wives. One had come into the shelter weeping. The other, as reported by Shelly, had danced for joy. Abeni checked out a bunch of psychology textbooks to understand what triggered sleepwalking. It required the person to be in the lighter stages of REM, but deep enough in sleep that they couldn't awaken. 

The last one was drunk and his mind had been a jumbled mess of half-asleep, half-awake. It'd been easy to make him think he was walking into heaven when really he missed one too many steps down the stairs. 

It was easy to get the names of the worst men in the shelter. They were all bad, but Abeni limited it to six to avoid suspicion. Two are dead in November. Two in December. One in January.

As the months wore on, she got better - slipping into people's dreams became as easy as breathing. Every day someone or another would tell her that they dreamt of her. She even slips into Leah's dream once. Only once.

"If you come into my head again, we're fighting," Leah tells her the next day. Abeni never tries it again.

But she'd been reckless. Careless. A bit cocky if you wanted to go that far. Two men dying one night authorities could dismiss as coincidence. Actually, five men dying in their sleep, another on a drunken rampage, any reasonable person could dismiss as long as the deaths were spaced out far enough. It was the men all being linked to women who frequented the shelter that gave everyone much to squint about. It starts with an article printed in both Port Angeles and Forks local news titled in big bleeding black font: 'SIX MEN DIE IN THEIR SLEEP - MURDER OR SUICIDE?'. Delphine - Abeni isn't sure it's Delphine, but only her sister would be that petty - pins the title to their fridge with a magnet. 

Not wanting to sit in silence with her sister and having the privileges to drive on Sundays revoked from her by her sister's job, Abeni takes the bus to and back from the shelter - her visits shifting from most Sundays to every now and then. This Sunday is a cold one in January. She digs her hands into the pockets of her jacket and steps on the curb, her breathe blowing puffs of smoke into the icy air.

A different volunteer sits at the front desk - a woman around Delphine's age with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. Abeni falters on her way to sign her name. The blackness of the woman's skin only seems to accentuate the brightness of her eyes, a reddish tint to them heightened by the trick of the lights. 

_'Damn,'_ Abeni thinks. She wishes she had dressed up more. Maybe, took her hair out of her twists. Not have worn her bonnet or her old ratty sweatshirt. 

"Where's Maria?"

The woman shrugs. "She hasn't been in."

Abeni makes a soft sound in the back of her throat and nods. She fills out her signature and makes way to the library. It's a routine. She goes to the library, reorganizes the books, maintains a quiet atmosphere for everyone, and does her homework. Truly, the most exciting thing since her realizing the Cullens were vampires was slipping into people's dreams. Normalcy was eager to descend on her life. Leah slept over. She ignored her sister and went to school. Homework. Dinner. Repeat. There was also Bella, but the girl was a husk - the vampires having sucked the life out of her without draining her blood. 

It was nice to share that secret with someone, though. Simple. Abeni didn't know how to move after that. What leads could she follow really? The headaches still came and went - a throbbing here or a warning for no reason there. It seemed the longer she existed the more her past life slipped away.

All she had now was the fire and her anger.

She steps into the library and pauses - her heart skipping a beat.

Her mouth runs faster than the rest of her can process. "Look whose back from the dead," she quips.

Again, she picked the wrong day to wear her bonnet outside. 

Rosalie leans against the desk Abeni usually did her homework at. She's every bit of perfection. She freezes slightly at Abeni's words and Abeni tries desperately not to grin. 

"I thought your family left," she continues, walking quietly over to the desk and throwing her bag down on the ground.

"We did," Rosalie doesn't glance at Abeni even as she moves closer. Her eyes remain fixed on a pen she flips absentmindedly in her hand. "But I decided to come back. There have been inquiries from the police department about the deaths." Abeni makes note of the faint amused smile on Rosalie's face.

"But, the autopsies confirmed they died of natural causes."

Rosalie fixes her with her piercing gaze and despite herself, Abeni flinches. There's no point in hiding her quickening heartbeat or the slight pressure in her skull. She's sure Rosalie could feel all of it - a fact that annoys her.

"People see what they want to see," Rosalie says finally, pursing her lips. "Police have been wrong before."

Abeni couldn't argue with that. 

"So what? You think they were murdered?" Rosalie shrugs - a movement that seems a bit too casual to be natural for her. "You gonna sink your teeth into the killer?"

A pinch forms between Rosalie's brows. Her nostrils flare. Quickly - too quick for Abeni to have believed humanly possible - she eases off the table and steps towards her. 

"What'd you say?"

Abeni pushes her top lip up and looks to the side before glancing back at her. "That's what you guys do right?" She questions, pushing a bit further. 

"That's what who does?" Her lips barely move around the words. Their conversation dwindling down to mere whispers as more people filter in and out of the library.

She almost stops herself. She's sure Rosalie, however old she was truly, could find a way to creatively kill Abeni if she wanted to. Abeni could name at least five off the top of her head. She also understood Rosalie was leaving her an opening - a way to back out and turn back before she sunk deeper into the grave she was digging. Abeni couldn't imagine any universe where she'd take that offer. 

Abeni wanted to know about her past life. She wanted to know why her head screamed when she asked the wrong questions and why she remembered when others forgot. It was a bitter want. The kind that threatened to consume her if left unchecked. After months of silence, the Cullens had walked into her hands. A fucking key - a possible answer to her questions - stood before her. What else was she supposed to do? Wait?

"Vampires," she says.

Just as fast as Abeni feels Rosalie grab her waist, the pressure is gone. The ghost of her touch replaced by the heavy smell of bleach and a room barely big enough to move in. 

Abeni leans back against the wall to put distance between her and Rosalie, ease the tension off her neck so, she won't have to tip her head back so much. But, she miscalculates. She steps too far and her back collides with the wall. The cleaning products on the shelves shake. Rosalie doesn't move. She stares impassively. Her jaw locked. 

Abeni opens her mouth to speak, but reconsiders. Maybe she'd done enough talking for the day. A long silence passes and again Abeni thinks maybe she should speak, but her eyes find Rosalie's and she bites her tongue.

"I should kill you," Rosalie says finally.

Abeni opens her mouth. Closes it. Opens it.

"You could," she says with a nod. She wonders briefly if she dies, she'll simply be reborn again; next time in a universe with more supernatural oddities. She clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth, averting her gaze to the cleaning supplies and then back up to Rosalie. "Do you have fangs?"

Rosalie's face scrunches - an expression that Abeni finds does little to take away from her beauty. She stares at Abeni, her lips pursed, before shaking her head. 

"Can you control minds?"

Rosalie shakes her head. Her expression growing from confusion to annoyance.

"Your whole family is vampires, though, like-" Abeni searches for the words. "- it isn't a eugenics things right?"

"What?"

"Whoever turned you didn't chose you guys because-"

"No," Rosalie says quickly. 

"So, you all just look like that?" 

The annoyance in Rosalie's face grows. Her mouth turns down in a grimace. Abeni contemplates taking her words back, but thinks better of it. She meant what she said.

"Do you have a problem with the way-"

"Yes," Abeni says quickly, cutting off Rosalie's words like she had done to her. "Are you gonna kill me?"

"Do you want to die?"

"No, but I doubt you'll kill me here," Abeni looks around, tipping her head forward in an exaggerated motion to glance at the shelves. "Is this that one closet on the 3rd floor? There's too many people nearby. They'd hear you."

Rosalie shifts closer to Abeni, closing the breathe of air between their bodies to place one hand on the space beside Abeni's head - the sudden sound of her hand smacking against the wood snaps Abeni's head back. She smiles with malice. Her eyes shining a brighter dangerous gold. 

"Vampires are hunters. If I wanted you dead here, I'm sure I could find a way," she says slowly. 

What she wants to do is imitate the dangerous cadence of Rosalie's voice, pull her own top lip into a snarl, and roll her eyes, but her heart has jumped to her throat and she's sure if she speaks her voice will be a squeak. 

No heat eminates from the vampire - the absence of warmth surprises Abeni if only because she expects it. She's used to Leah who not just radiated warmth, but always seemed to be on the verge of burning. That threat gradually increasing as their time spent together wore on. Rosalie doesn't just lack warmth, her close proximity to Abeni brings with it a chill. A chill akin to a cool breeze from a window. Abeni inadvertently shivers.

There was no doubt in her mind that Rosalie could and would kill her. Besides the building they stood in, nothing that she knew of indicated the vampire's kindness. Actually, everything indicated otherwise from the way Forks locals discussed her to the way Edward had commented on his sister not having friends and yet, Rosalie had taken Abeni home that one day. Threats to end her life or not, that must account for something. 

Abeni's thoughts do nothing to soothe her. She keeps her eyes locked with Rosalie's gold ones. She wants to believe she looks challenging, daring even, but she's sure Rosalie can hear her heartbeat. The thumping it makes singing loud enough it threatens to leave her body.

A flicker of uncertainty dances across Rosalie's face. She breathes deeply through her nose, removing her hand from Abeni's head slowly and carefully, as she leans back against the opposite wall. At that moment, the light that had been a sliver at their feet spreads to shine on Rosalie and Abeni. 

Abeni flickers her gaze to the door not wanting to remove her eyes from the vampire. One of the workers stares back at them. Their face resembling a fish.

"Oh," the worker exclaims. "I-I didn't. I'm so sorry."

"You're good," Abeni says as she speeds past and underneath the worker's arm. She makes her way down the stairs and to the library, quickly picking up her bookbag. 

She can't take the bus. There's nothing stopping Rosalie from grabbing her at the stop or waiting for her in Forks- she glances at the cloudy sky outside - and there's no way Shelly is leaving anytime soon. She makes her way down the next flight, whispering her excuse me's to people wandering up and down the stairs. In the corner of her eyes, she sees blonde hair, but she doesn't turn. She continues down past the bedrooms and the cafeteria until she reaches the lobby. 

The same woman smiles at her. She stands near the door, her back having turned at the sound of Abeni. "Leaving so soon?"

"I could say the same thing to you," Abeni responds. She glances at the keys in the woman's hand, her expression brightening. She steps closer. "Do you happen to live near Forks?"

"Depends."

"I need a ride."

And just like that her smile falters. Her face seeming torn between amusement and surprise. "You're blunt." She turns towards the exit. "C'mon. I'll drive you."

She leads Abeni to a car parked right next to Rosalie's. It's a simple black car that lacks the shine, but is far from Leah's old truck or even Delphine's 90s Honda. Abeni slides into the passenger's seat. A faint metallic smell hitting her nose as soon as she slides in.

"Sorry for the mess," the woman says. "I know how to make it Forks, but you'll have to lead the way to your house."

Abeni isn't relieved when they pull out into the highway. Couldn't vampires run fast or was that zombies she was thinking of? Even if they weren't adept runners, Rosalie had a sports car. She knew where Abeni _lived_. You'd think Abeni would know better after running away from home last year. She sighs, turning slightly to the woman next to her.

How'd the saying go? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice... Abeni couldn't tell this woman where she lived. That'd be not only idiotic, but purely negligent.

She has the woman drop her off at Bella Swan's house or what Abeni believes to be the vague area where Bella Swan lives. Forks is small. Everyone knew where Detective Swan lived. At the very least, it was mentioned in passing by Leah once or twice when they used to go wandering in the woods during the summer. They had tried to smoke weed as far away from his house as possible.

Bella's truck sits in the driveway. Her house a pale white that blends in with the bleakness of Forks. She imagines Bella sitting up there in her room, wasting away like she prefered to do since Edward had left, but now wasn't the time for Abeni's judgements.

She mumbles her thanks and goodbyes to Pushpa before knocking heavily on the front door. 

She waits.

And waits.

And waits.

Before knocking again and ringing the doorbell. There is a faint 'I'm coming!' she hears from in the house. Bella opens the door wide. Her hair, a short pixie cut, barely touching the nape of her neck and ears. Her eyes widen a fraction as she stares at Abeni, but Abeni doesn't have time.

She can barely ask Abeni what she's doing there before Abeni pushes past her gently into the house. She takes off her shoes at the door.

She stands tall and nods at Bella. "Nice cut. Is your dad here?" 

Bella shakes her head, closing the door behind her. "What're you doing?" She repeats.

"I have a question," she begins, choosing her words carefully. "If Rosalie didn't want me to know she was a vampire, would she hypothetically speaking try to kill me?"

"You saw Rosalie?" Bella questions. Her voice having more life in it than Abeni could ever remember it carrying.

"No. You're just the only one I can talk to about this kind of stuff."

Bella smiles at that. It's true though. Frankly, Abeni was sure if she brought the Cullens up - after months of silence - Leah might have an aneurysm. It wasn't that she didn't care. Leah didn't want to hear about the Cullens and Abeni eventually learned to respect that.

Eventually.

Bella shakes her head. "Edward didn't kill me when I found out. He wanted me to know. Maybe it's the same..." She trails off when she sees a weird expression grace Abeni's face. "What?"

"Rosalie's gay?"

"What?"

"You and Edward are dating. There's no way it could be the same unless she's gay," Abeni explains slowly.

"Rosalie's dating Emmett."

"Big guy?"

Bella nods. 

"That's boring," she walks towards the window, peaking through the blinds. "So, she'd drain my blood. Hypothetically."

"The Cullens don't drink human blood," Bella responds. She runs a hand through her hair. "Are you sure you didn't see her?" 

Abeni stops herself from calling that boring, too. She shakes her head. "So what? She wouldn't do anything?"

"They don't like killing. They're good people," Bella says sincerely. "They only feed on animal blood."

Abeni scoffs. 

"Edward's told me he should've killed me plenty of times. It doesn't mean they're going to," Bella explains.

 _'Yes, it does,'_ Abeni thinks. The fact that Edward said that to her multiple times aside. Should means want. It means there's something stopping the person from doing whatever it is they desire to do and as far as Abeni is concerned, she doesn't think it's Rosalie's moral compass.

Maybe, that was the key. Abeni was meant to be murdered and fix whatever balance she fucked up by killing her dad. Maybe, the Cullens being connected to her past life was simply because they were the executioner meant to end her life in the same way those men and the fires ended her last one. Or she was spiraling.

"Abeni?" Bella calls softly.

She clicks her tongue. "Yeah."

"I seriously don't think she'd kill you," she says. "Rosalie's Rosalie but she's not a murderer."

Abeni has the strongest feeling she's wrong, but doesn't press. She shifts away from the window and walks to the living room, asking Bella with a turn of her head if it's okay, and only proceeding to sit when Bella nods in return. Bella follows her to the living room, but doesn't sit. She stands awkwardly near the couch - her brazen cut only highlighting her uncomfortableness.

"Has anyone seen it?" Abeni pats her head.

"Only my dad and he... he's just happy I'm leaving the house," she says with a 'what-can-you-do' shrug. Her eyes flicker to the side as if she's entertaining a thought. "I was actually just on my way out to see Jacob."

_Oh._

"You hang out with someone from there right? I can drop you off along the way or drive you to your house," Bella offers.

Leah spent most of her free time working or with Abeni. There was a huge chance that if she wasn't at work she might be at home, but that was just it. It was a chance. She shudders at the thought of having to sit in the house with Sue without Leah to buffer inbetween.

"You sure Rosalie wouldn't kill me?"

A flicker of irritation crosses Bella's face. "They don't kill people."

A lie. Abeni stares at Bella, wondering if she really believed that. One of her main nightmares had been a dismembered man being thrown in the fire. The Cullens had murdered him without an ounce of regret. A mix of pity and distrust rises in her- a familiar anger twists her gut.

"Okay. I'll just walk home," she says finally.

She didn't want Bella knowing where she lived.

"You don't have to walk," Bella sputters. "I can bring you."

"No, I'll walk. I need to clear my head."

Bella doesn't push. She lets Abeni walk out the door and down the street. The grey clouds overhead threaten to belch out rain at any moment's notice. The houses in Forks are spread a ways away from one another - pockets of trees blooming forward and then, receding in other spots. 

The suburban nature stands in stark contrast to Harlem. For the first time in a long time, Abeni finds herself missing it. In Harlem, she would've been able to hide out in a cafe or duck into an alley. There were so many nooks and crannies. In Forks, she could stumble into the woods or hang out in plain sight on the street. That was all.

Abeni had hoped Bella might've... done more to relieve her; offered her a gun or a way of repelling vampires if they ever got out of control. It didn't make sense that someone would willingly date a vampire and not have a way of protecting herself or even, want to share that way with another potential victim. 

A smaller part of her sees the people she loves in Bella. The denial. The backbone being snapped and sucked from the spine when their lover leaves. The casual way she treated threats. A ' _This is normal. Get used to it,'_ attitude sitting as an undercurrent of every wrong action.

Bullshit, really. Abeni should've known better than to think someone like that would help her.

She tenses herself the whole walk home, walking faster at some sounds, and making sure to check any cars that drove past. She could feel _someone_ watching her. The woods grew more dense the further away from Forks center she got. She doesn't look into the trees. Instead, her hand go instinctively to her necklace. She rolls the bottle charm between her fingers. The assortment of herbs offering her comfort and calming her.

She'd have to do a spell of protection when she got home. Multiple.

Her feet ache by the time she ends up on her home's front porchsteps. The house a far cry and a long walk from Bella's. The step wood sags in the middle. One of them looking like it might collapse if a person puts the right amount of pressure. The grey paint is chipped in places exposing the raw wood underneath. Her favorite part of their home is inside. She makes her way up the porch stairs not at all surprised to see Leah's car parked in their driveway.

She opens the door and takes off her shoes. Leah sits on the couch with her mom. One of her mom's soap operas play on their TV. Her mom is still wearing her work clothes, a sign that she had just gotten off or was about to go. Her hair is pulled back in a slick bun, a gold scarf covering the poof of her ponytail. On the table, Abeni sees a collection of leftovers: lasagna, blueberry bread, and chips. It seemed the two had just gathered everything from the kitchen and threw it on the table to eat. Both her and Leah look up when she enters. 

"Habibti," her mom coos. "I didn't know you'd be back so soon. How is your head?"

"Same as always," Abeni responds. She pauses to take off her shoes. "Delphine brought you home, umi?"

Her mom shakes her head. "La. She was busy with work." She uses a spoon to gesture towards Leah. "I had her call Leah to take me home."

"Thanks, Leah."

Leah shrugs. Her otherwise calm facade disrupted by the twitching of her nose. Abeni shuffles quietly over and plops next to her friend. Leah recoils visibly. Her entire face scrunching dramatically.

"God, you smell awful," she says, covering her nose.

Abeni sniffs her shirt and lifts up her arm to sniff underneath. She grins, leaning closer to her friend. "How awful?"

"Repugnant."

Her mom leans over Leah and sniffs. "I don't smell anything."

Leah merely shakes her head and leans closer to Abeni. Her nose boinking the curve of Abeni's neck. "Did you shower?"

Abeni pokes absentmindedly at the stain on her hoodie. Her grin faltering. "No. The oil's turned off."

"You could've boiled a pot," her mom remarks. She stands. Abeni assumes she's going to go in the kitchen and put on a pot of hot water. 

Abeni frowns. "I didn't have time," she snaps, but her mom doesn't hear her either that or she doesn't care to respond. 

She ends up following her mom to the kitchen and lugging the pot to their bathroom. When she returns, Leah doesn't protest as much. She sniffs her and says nothing. Abeni almost lets herself be lulled into the comfort she'd been dealing with these past few months since her passing out in the Clearwater home. They'd sit in front of the TV and Abeni would lay on the floor, her homework spread out around her. They'd laugh. They'd chat and Delphine wouldn't come home until the sun was beginning to rise again - a new development that Abeni tried not to question and just enjoy.

But, there's Rosalie and the situation Abeni willingly threw herself into. She locks all the windows before she goes to sleep. She sprinkles salt on their doorsteps and windowsills. She meditates in her room until Leah comes to tell her dinner is ready - in her mind's eye she imagines blackness hiding their home from the vampires. A layer of thorns blocking all those who seek to cause harm.

Dreaming doesn't come easily to her. She lies on the makeshift bed her and Leah made in the living room - a ritual of sorts that they always did when Leah slept over - and listens to her friend snoring. Breathing. Her shoulders tight. Her body ready for the door to slam open or the glass to break. 

It never comes. She closes her eyes only when Delphine comes home. She turns away from the door at the sound of keys jingling - the sight of her friend sleeping peacefully calms her enough to relax.

The deep blue of their living room shifts grey then black. The smell of bleach hangs heavy in the air. Her and Rosalie Hale stand in that same closet. Her face obscured by her thick blonde hair as she leans in to bite Abeni's neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna know what Abeni's personality looks like irl, check out ushygushysquishy on tik tok. That's not what she looks like but that's what her tik tok would definitely look like. Leah's tiktok would definitely be rezlife things and her doing woodworking. She'd have a huge gay following.
> 
> Side Note: Thank you for all your lovely comments! If you guys ask me any questions I'll answer them in the next chapter's notes. Wish I could heart your comments <3\. 


	8. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cw: mentions of abuse

Bella shifts from one foot to the next. She hunches her shoulders, curls in on herself a bit to gain some heat in the cold forest. Across from her, Abeni takes one long drag of a blunt and puffs smoke into the air. She hands the blunt to Leah who eyes Bella before taking it.

Truthfully, Bella had thought she'd done something to make Abeni mad. The girl inviting her to smoke in the forest had been surprising... to say the least. Unnerving was another word for it. It amused Bella. In a world of vampires _and_ werewolves - she was still getting used to that - Bella was scared of a tiny teenage girl. Leah had greeted Bella with a frown and although Abeni laughed and chatted animatedly, it did nothing to make Bella feel less anxious.

That and Bella had never smoked before. 

Leah finishes her pass. Her hand holds out the blunt to Bella as she coughs with the other. 

Bella stares at it. Fumbles. Grabs it and attempts to do what they had done. A ghost of Edward in her ear whispers: _"Don't."_ A warning that comes too late. She coughs uncontrollably, clouds of smoke falling through her lips. Abeni pats her back gently, plucking the blunt from her hands. 

"I put herbs in it," Abeni says as if the thought just occurs to her. "You're not allergic to lavender, are you?"

Bella shakes her head. "Why lavender?"

"It's good for anxiety."

"Is that all you put in there?" Leah asks. It strikes Bella that this is the first time she's heard her voice fully. Her voice is steady and gravely.

 _Maybe that means she's opening up._ Even if she hadn't addressed Bella directly.

Abeni grins conspiratorially at her friend, not breaking eye contact as she takes another long drag. She hands the dwindling stub to Leah. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I think that's why she asked," Bella interjects, surprising herself. 

Leah breathes out a heavy breath. Bella guesses that's as close as she'll get to a laugh from her. Abeni merely smiles.

She doesn't know how many puffs it takes for her body to melt and take the world with it. Her shoulders slide down from her ears to her hips. Abeni lays on her belly infront of her, plucking at strands of grass, and Leah sits casually, leaning on one arm, off to the side. 

The world is so intense like this. Birds chirp loudly. The grey sky is bright and the trees whisper. Calling her up and out of her body if only she..

Abeni flicks Bella's ankle. Bella jolts, shifting her leg back and clutching it as if she'd been stabbed.

"It looked like we were losing you," Abeni explains. Her head lolls to one side and she yawns, her gaze flickering to Leah. "Were you thinking of Edward?"

Bella shakes her head, but she knows Abeni won't believe her. The girl clicks her tongue.

"You guys have a lot in common." She points to her and Leah.

"How?" Bella asks. Leah doesn't say anything. She rolls her eyes, already seeming to know the answer.

"Shitty exes."

"Edward wasn't shitty," Bella responds automatically. Not only Abeni, but Leah, too, fixes her with a gaze that makes her want to explain. "He... He had a lot going on. I made it worse."

"That's bullshit," Leah says at the same time Abeni sucks her teeth. 

"How could you have made his life worse?" 

Bella wishes she could retreat into a shell - her high disappearing as she searches for the words. "I did a lot of dumb things. He always had to fix my mistakes," she says with a shrug. 

"He told you that," Abeni spits. 

"No."

But, he _had_. He told her that all the time. 

"He broke up with me to keep me safe."

Her words only seem to make Abeni angrier. 

"To keep you safe from him," Leah corrects. Bella's eyes snap to her. The girl stares back. Her face a calm non-judgemental opposite to Abeni's cold pitiful one. "Do you feel safe?"

Bella blinks. Did she?

She hadn't worried about bleeding or aging since Edward left. In fact, she enjoyed brushing close to death. Craved it. And when she fucked herself up after riding the motorcycle, she'd apologized to Jacob. The sight of it calling forward memories of the Cullens. And what was it Jacob had said?

_'Don't worry, Bella. It's just a little blood.'_

"Yes. I guess I do."

"Safer than before?" Abeni asks. She winces.

' _Safer than with him?'_ Bella catches her unspoken meaning.

With Edward, there'd always been danger and now, she had to look for it. She wouldn't say it outloud, but it was nice not having to worry about blood. To just be and exist.

"I don't know," she says after a moment's pause.

Weirdly enough, Abeni visibly relaxes. 

Abeni brought Bella along in the hopes that Rosalie wouldn't appear. She knew the Quileutes and Cullens had some vague form of beef, but considering how tight-lipped Leah was, there was no telling whether that beef would stop Rosalie from... well... killing Abeni.

She scooches in the dirt, closer to the warmth of her friend - the Washington weather wasn't quite aware it was spring yet - and in return, Leah shifts to give her space. She leans forward to offer the last puff to Bella who plucks it from her fingertips and inhales deeply, the end of the blunt sparks red and dwindles until it falls to the ground. 

"Wow," she mumbles, clearing her throat. "Do you guys do this often?"

"Define often," Abeni replies. Leah snorts. "We do it enough. I could get you some. It helps."

"It helps with what?"

Abeni gestures vaguely to the air. "Everything. Though, I guess therapy's good, too. If you can afford it."

Abeni's eyes fix to the distance. Perhaps, it's a trick of the light, but she sees blonde just past Bella's head. She squints. It disappears.

 _Fuck that_.

"We should go," she says abruptly, standing. 

"You good?" Leah asks. She's standing before the words can leave Abeni's mouth. She places one hand on the crook of Abeni's elbow - her brows furrowed in a mix of confusion and concern.

Abeni nods hastily, but she can tell Leah doesn't believe her. Her friend shoots her glances their whole way to the car. The moment they hop in the car to ensure Bella gets home okay, she braces herself for the Clearwater silence. Leah had a bad habit of making silence unbearably _loud_. 

"I can feel you thinking," she comments.

Her best friend scoffs. "Did you see something back there?"

"Did you?" Abeni deflects.

To her surprise, Leah nods. "Not saw anything, but I smelt it." Her nose instinctively scrunches up. "It smelt wrong."

"Wrong like how?"

"Wrong like you that day you came back from the shelter," she replies. 

Abeni blinks. The thought runs threw her mind and rams her in the face - Leah could smell vampires. A sharp pain explodes through her scalp. She winces, but doesn't move to grasp her head. She was used to the pain now. Unexpected or not. And she didn't want to worry anyone. But fuck all of that.

Leah could smell vampires. 

"You're staring," Leah says without looking at her. 

"Can I get a pass just this once?"

"No."

Abeni frowns and looks away. 

"So..."

"So."

"Do you know what you're smelling?" 

Outside the window, Bella pulls into her driveway and waves at them before walking inside her home. Leah pulls off. 

"Nope," Leah remarks, emphasizing the 'p'. "And I don't want to."

* * *

The cops were at Forks High. The unfortunate thing was that it wasn't the Forks police. Their black cop car read 'Port Angeles' loud and proud. Her heart jumpstarts. There, right next to the cop car, was a shiny red car and leaning up against it was Rosalie. Her gaze locks with Abeni across the parking lot, but she makes no move towards her. From this far away, Abeni can barely make out her face.

She finds herself looking for Bella's car and stops herself. Even if her car was there, Bella would be in 3rd period by now. They're late. Abeni had insisted on sleeping in after their smoke sesh and Leah didn't work until 12. Everyone was already inside. 

"What'd you do?" Leah's voice snaps her back to reality. 

"Why do you assume-"

"No. Don't do that thing where you respond to a question with a question," Leah commands. Her gaze locking with Abeni. Leah points to the cop car. "Real shit. Does this have something to do with that newspaper on our fridge?"

A warmth blooms in Abeni's chest. She grins. " _Our_ fridge?"

Leah rolls her eyes.

"Maybe," Abeni offers when it seems her friend isn't going to reply. "Why else would they be here?"

"Did you-" Leah's jaw moves, searching for the words. "Those men? You did that?"

"Not with my own hands," she replies. "They were terrible, Leah. All of their partners came into the shelter so often-"

"Murder." Abeni flinches, but Leah isn't yelling. Leah had been like that more often lately - a sharp bite left all her words stinging even the harmless ones. She runs a hand through her hair and blows a raspberry. 

"Murder," she repeats. "You're killing people."

"They deserve it."

"No," Leah replies sharply. "It's different when it's your dad, but you don't know these people-"

"I know enough," Abeni interrupts. A familiar anger rises in her chest. She looks over her shoulder. Rosalie is still there. Watching. "Can we talk about this later?"

"Delphine's picking you up. Not me," Leah says. 

Abeni stares. Perhaps, it was the tone of voice. She didn't like it. She leans forward in her seat and Leah's gaze snaps to her. 

"Are you mad at me?"

Leah doesn't respond. Instead, she leans forward in her own seat - up close like this Abeni can see the faint star she poked on her collarbone with pen ink- and peers out Abeni's window. Her hand lands just next to Abeni's thigh. The heat from it threatening to burn through the chair. Abeni tries not to think - or more like, she can't think. She didn't get it. Truly. What was so different about now versus Leah sleeping with her all those times? Why did she feel too close for comfort _now_ when they were in her car and she was obviously pissed?

Teenage hormones were so fucking annoying.

The moment ends too soon and Leah leans back.

"I'm coming with you." She takes her key out of the ignition. The old truck's engine cuts off with a sputter and fizz.

"Don't you have work?"

She shakes her head. "I'm not leaving you with blondie."

Abeni tries to smile. Leah was loyal to a fault. "Scared she'll whisk me away?"

"I'm pretty sure she'd return you," Leah scoffs. "Don't think I'm done with you."

"I killed my dad using intense magic and I was fine. I'm not even using spells this time. What's different?" 

"You're messing with the balance, Bee. Shit's deadly."

Rosalie doesn't seem at all surprised when they both exit the car. If anything she seems a bit irritated which Abeni can empathize with. If she was planning to kill someone and they brought their best friend along she'd be pretty pissed, too. 

"Abeni," Rosalie says curtly. Her eyes glide over to Leah. Her face twitching slightly. "You brought company."

Not to anyone's surprise Leah simply walks past Rosalie. She places one foot on the stair and turns back. Her gaze not once touching the blonde, but her nose twitching slightly and her lips pull down in a frown as if she had smelt something terrible.

Abeni's hand flies to her now three charms around her neck. She rubs the tiny herb jars between her fingers as she speaks. 

She nods towards the police car. "Why're they here?"

"They want to question you about the... disappearances."

"And why're you here?" Leah asks.

Rosalie seems to find her anger humorous. She grins. Her eyes twinkle. "I told them that she would be more compliant if I was present."

"A lie," Abeni responds.

She shrugs. "It worked." Her gaze turns to Leah sharply. She scans Abeni's friend slowly from head to toe, her grin gone and replaced with a frown. "Will you be here the entire time?"

Leah glares. "I can't really leave if you're here."

"You guys are acting like you're having a pissing contest," Abeni grumbles before Rosalie can respond. She rolls her eyes, making way up the stairs. "Let's go."

Rosalie is faster than them. She seems to glide on air as she moves up the stairs and around the corner. Abeni suspects it has something to do with her not wanting anyone to see her, but she keeps this thought to herself. 

There are two cops waiting for her in the front office. Officer Baker is a thin man with a smug look in his eyes. The kind that was common in a small town, but would've gotten swallowed whole back home in Harlem. Officer Moore is a woman. She has the kind of face that Abeni assumed most people would call kind - round rosy cheeks and a permanent uptick at the corners of her lips.

_'Here we go.'_

"Abeni Brown?" Officer Moore's voice is sickly sweet, but she doesn't smile. When Abeni nods, she steps forward. There's no doubt in Abeni's mind that the cops were having her lead because of Abeni's work in the shelter. Typical. "We just wanted to ask you a few questions."

She gestures for Abeni to move to the door, but Abeni doesn't budge.

"Is my mom here? You can't question a minor."

Officer Baker presses his lips together in a thin line. "You're eighteen."

Moore waves her hand dismissively. "There's nothing to be afraid of. We just have a few questions about your time at the shelter. That's all," she adds. "Your principal will be there if that helps."

It doesn't.

They don't lead her into the principal's office. They lead her to an abandoned classroom. Principal Diggons offers her a thin smile when she enters. He leans against the chalkboard.

"Take a seat."

Abeni sits on one of the student's desks. She eases her bag into the seat and waits. If they're upset by her actions, they don't show it. Officer Moore beams at her and mimicks her body language. She leans on one of the desks opposite Abeni. Officer Baker stands off to the side near the door.

They start off with the simple questions. How long have you been volunteering at the shelter? How often do you go? The clock ticks quietly while Baker scribbles on a notepad and Moore analyzes her. Sometimes, her eyes squint when Abeni shifts. Other times, she makes a high-pitched hum in the back of her throat when Abeni says something she presumes to be interesting.

"And you said you've never seen the men before?"

Abeni nods.

"What about her?" Officer Moore pulls out a slip of paper from her folder. The woman on the paper is beautiful by all accounts. Her dark hair is piled up on top of her head and she smiles, practically beams at the camera, but it's the eyes that grab Abeni. Maria always had the kind of eyes that pulled people in.

"What about her?"

"She's missing," Officer Moore continues. She tisks gently down at the photos before slipping it back in her folder. "Last seen, three weeks ago leaving the shelter. We were told she-"

But Abeni isn't listening. A headache slowly rises in her skull. She did something. She can physically feel it. Another piece of the puzzle shifting because of what _she_ did. Death spells typically required an exchange to be made, but what she had done hadn't been a spell. Dream walking was more complex. She didn't call on any deity or manipulate any powers - she reached through to their minds and tricked them into harming themselves. There shouldn't be repercusions for that. The gods, universe, whatever powers may be, shouldn't _demand_ anything in return.

And yet, Abeni feels the puzzle shifting just like it had when she killed her dad.

 _'I should stop killing people,'_ she thinks. _'Maybe, the problem is that I lack empathy.'_

Maybe the punishment for being reborn was two-fold. Headaches and a twisted way of thinking you're god.

"Miss Brown."

"Sorry. What?"

"No, I'm sorry. This must be a lot for you," Officer Moore says sadly. "Did Maria tell you anything before she left? Say anything suspicious?"

The last thing Maria had said to Abeni had been her name, but Abeni couldn't exactly tell the cops that. She shakes her head. 

The cops exchange a glance and Officer Moore sighs. "We've heard that you and Maria were quite... close." Moore's lips purse tightly around the word. "We're just trying to get her home safe."

"I don't know anything," Abeni repeats.

"And you've never seen those men?"

"No."

Eventually, seeing they weren't going to get anything useful from Abeni they let her go. She returns to the office to find Rosalie and Leah sitting at opposite ends of the waiting space. Leah is sprawled out. She sits slumped, arms folded, with her scuffed boots stretching out into the middle of the room. Rosalie is the opposite. She sits primly. Back straight. Legs crossed. Hands folded neatly in her lap. 

Abeni flicks her fingers - a loud snap causing all eyes, even the eyes of the secretary, to turn towards her. She smiles.

"I'm back," she says in a sing-song voice.

Rosalie's the first to stand. "I need to talk to you."

"Over my dead body," Leah interjects. 

"That can be-"

"Ladies," The secretary snaps. She peers at them from over the top of her bright red glasses. "As neither of you go to school here, I believe it's time for you to leave."

Leah folds her arms. "I didn't know there were set visiting hours."

"I'll walk them outside, miss," Abeni interjects.

She hastily grabs Leah's hand and almost moves to grab Rosalie's before thinking better of it. Instead, she places her hand gently on her back. Rosalie stiffens slightly under her palm before withdrawing as if stung. Abeni leads them out of the building and into the parking lot quickly - she's grateful for Rosalie having parked somewhere distant where her car can be hidden from classroom view. 

"Can you talk with Leah here?" Abeni asks once they've stopped walking.

"No," Rosalie responds curtly. 

"And all you want to do is talk?"

The question seems to irritate Rosalie. She leans back against her car and scowls. "What else would we do?" She snaps.

 _'You could kill me._ ' She bites her tongue.

Abeni blinks at her as if she's stupid. She hopes her blinks can communicate what would be wrong to say out loud. _You're a vampire. You threatened to murder me. You're obviously stalking me._

Rosalie averts her gaze and sighs deeply. "You're safe." She looks at Leah briefly. "She's safe."

"Abeni," Leah begins. When Abeni looks at her, she pointedly looks down at their still interlocked fingers. Abeni doesn't want to drop it though. She likes the heat of Leah's hand. 

She slowly uncurls her fingers from Leah and stuffs her hands in the pockets of her hoodie. 

"I'll follow behind," Leah says.

"You really have nothing better to do?" Rosalie asks.

"Don't worry. I won't listen in on your precious little conversation," Leah steps back, still facing them, and nods at Abeni. "You can ride with me after. Kay?"

Abeni nods. Sliding into Rosalie's car is nothing short of a dream. The car has that brand new car smell. Plastic is still wrapped on certain parts. The carpet has not one shoe print. The engine is so quiet Abeni could've easily closed her eyes and pretended they weren't moving. She leans back slightly in her chair as they pull out of the school parking lot. 

Rosalie doesn't talk much. She doesn't answer Abeni's questions on where they're heading and when Abeni presses she turns up the radio. It's a half-assed attempt. Abeni gathers that Rosalie, with all her vampire mystique, expects Abeni to be fearful. Some part of her is. There's comfort in knowing Leah is right behind them - her car's loud engine making up for the quiet of this one. Leah couldn't kill Rosalie, but her being there definitely did seem to put the blonde on edge.

"You and the Quileutes have beef?" Abeni tries. 

"Do you mean we don't get along?"

"If you want to put it in boring terms, yes."

"I thought your friend would've told you," Rosalie says coolly. 

"She hasn't."

A soft bitter laugh echoes in the car. "They don't care for our kind."

"Leah knows what you are?"

"No," Rose says sharply. "If she did, she wouldn't have let you come."

"Let me." She'd like to think that her and Leah's relationship was a bit more egalitarian than that. But then, she remembers how easily Leah had pushed her up against the wall during that fight with Delphine and how she seemed to be getting more muscular as time passed. She never worked out and yet, Abeni was sure she'd seen a six pack once or twice peeking out from under the hem of her tees. Leah could stop Abeni from going anywhere if she wanted to. Her skin warms at the thought.

The car crawls to a stop, pulling into a neatly vacant parking lot. Rosalie doesn't waste time. She leads Abeni inside the dimly lit bar. The waiter, who was on his phone until Abeni cleared her throat, stares at Rosalie like a fish. He scrambles, stutters, and butchers his words. His shoulders only relax when he leaves their table. He doesn't even bother to ask Abeni for her ID.

Rosalie is unfazed. 

"Do you know there was a time when I believed vampires were incapable of change?" Rosalie begins quietly. She seems lost in a memory for some time before she shakes her head - her eyes now gazing at Abeni intensely. "How much do you know about us?"

"You don't need to breathe. That's it."

Rosalie stares.

"It wasn't that hard to figure out." She has a feeling she shouldn't mention the Clearwaters. "You guys don't breathe. You're incredibly p-"

"But, where is it you knew me from? How long did you know?"

"I don't know. I found out in September," Abeni says slowly.

"You're lying," Rosalie snarls.

Despite herself, Abeni smiles. "And what if I was? Do you really think calling me out on it will make me tell you the truth?"

With a soft and concise snap, Abeni looks down to see a broken metal fork in Rosalie's closed fist. The waiter returns and the fork disappears. Rosalie's hand returns to the table quickly as if it had always been there and the fork had been a mere figment of Abeni's imagination. She blinks.

The waiter nods ecstatically at her every word, barely sparing Abeni a glance. And Rosalie... her voice is practically dripping honey. She can see it from the guy's perspective. To him, the too perfectness of the Cullen before her becomes ethereal. She doesn't look like a predator, but a pretty girl who might give him a chance.

"Abeni." Rosalie's lips are pressed in a thin smile. "What would you like to eat?"

Abeni orders the most expensive thing on the menu for no other reason than because she knows Rosalie can afford it.

"Let's restart," Rosalie says once the waiter leaves. The honey in her voice subdued by annoyance. "You killed those men."

It takes a moment for Abeni to realize she's asking a question. She nods.

"How?"

"Magic."

"Their autopsies came back clean. No poison was used."

Abeni scoffs. "Witchcraft isn't poison."

"What is it, then?"

 _'Power,'_ she thinks. _'Threads of the universe you pluck and shape to your liking.'_

"Depends on who you ask."

"I'm asking you."

"I don't want to answer," Abeni responds curtly. 

She expects to hear another snap - another piece of cutlery destroyed - but if Rosalie's angry she doesn't show it.

"My family voted on whether we should kill you," she says casually. Abeni's heart skips a beat. "Not recently - they don't know that you know - but we have many times. "

"Did Bella get the same treatment?"

"We only voted once with Bella. I thought we should've killed her, but I was... outnumbered." Her mouth twists into a frown.

"What makes me different?"

"Power. Sexism. Racism," she watches Abeni carefully as if she knows the last word would cause her to react. It wasn't exactly a word she expected a Cullen to say. Satisfied with the shock on her face, she continues. "Do you know Alice can see the future?"

Which meant Alice saw what would happen if she touched Abeni's hair all those months ago and still decided to do it. Typical. 

She shakes her head.

"She saw you. You corrupted her visions. She said you made them wrong," Rosalie purses her lips. "You aren't the first human we've met with strange abilities. Bella intrigued my brother because he can't hear her thoughts. She was the first one to ever successfully block him out."

Rosalie seems to get some joy in pausing theatrically. Abeni can tell she _wants_ her to ask questions. She refuses. Curiosity be damned.

"With Bella, she can't control it. Her gift is limited to the mind," she continues. "You have more power."

"You're leaving a lot out."

"Am I?" 

Abeni swallows her pride. "You said sexism was a factor. How?"

"My brother wanted to date Bella. He doesn't want to date you," she remarks coldly. "To him, you're more of a threat than anything. He doesn't take you living lightly."

"And why am I such a threat?"

Rosalie doesn't respond. Abeni sighs.

"So you want to kill me."

"You make it very hard not to."

Abeni grins. "And yet, you're not going to." She takes the flare of Rosalie's nostrils as a cue that she's warm and presses deeper. Her grin grows feral. "There's something you want from me."

"You're presumptous."

"And I'm right. Otherwise, what else is stopping Edward from killing me?"

"Believe it or not, the majority of my family is against violence," Rosalie says through gritted teeth. 

"That's reason enough to keep me alive, but not enough for you to take me out to lunch. You want something."

"Order up!" The waiter interrupts. He sets down the huge plate of food in front of Abeni. The smell of bbq ribs hits her nose. It looks positively delicious. 

She lifts her head up to say thank you, but he's not paying attention to her. Both his and Rosalie's gazes are fixed on a point behind Abeni. Whereas his is one of surprise, Rosalie's is more angry. The corners of her lips downturned in a deep frown and her nose wrinkled in disgust.

Abeni turns around to see Leah. Abeni knows it's cold outside, but Leah's standing there in a tee shirt as if it's a warm summer day. She scans the room, her eyes finding Abeni's table and quickly she walks over. Her expression determined and her footsteps quick.

The waiter recovers quickly and leaves, eager to get out of the way.

"C'mon Bee," she says.

"It was just getting good," Abeni retorts.

With great effort, Leah tears her gaze away from Rosalie and glares down at her friend. 

"I think your conversation's done."

"How would you know? You were all the way in the parking lot. I just got my food."

"You can get the food to go," Leah says exasperatedly.

Abeni doesn't register Rosalie standing. At first, Rosalie is watching their interaction with a mix of disgust and another emotion Abeni can't quite place. Then, she's there. Standing infront of Leah with her arms folded. If not for her heels they'd be the same height, but Leah has to tip her head back slightly to look at her fully. 

"I wasn't finished talking to her," Rosalie hisses.

"You're finished now."

"She isn't an object and can hear you," Abeni interjects. Leah turns to her with what looks like an apologetic expression.

"Bee, please," she says softly. "Let's go."

And there's something in her gaze - a subtle desperation that makes Abeni agree. She has the waiter pack up her lunch. Leah stands there the whole time, glaring. Rosalie leans up against the opposite booth, glaring right back.

It's annoying.

"Rosalie." The blonde's attention snaps to her. "We'll pick up where we left off later. You know where to find me."

Leah doesn't talk to her until they're in her driveway. She can tell she's itching to say something because she spends the whole car ride chewing her bottom lip bloody. Abeni waits patiently. Her sister's car is surprisingly sitting in their short driveway. It'd been so long since Abeni had seen her fully or had more than a one minute conversation.

You had to give it to the Brown girls. They knew how to hold grudges.

"She wants to kill you," Leah says slowly. Her words flows halfway between a question and a statement. "And you still want to see her." Anger and disbelief punctuate the air. 

"How'd you know that?" 

Leah had been in the car the entire time. They'd been speaking low. Unless she hid behind their booth... but Rosalie would've sensed her there. 

"So, it's true. She wants to kill you."

"How'd you know that?" Abeni repeats.

"I don't know," she exclaims. Her hands grip the steering wheel so tight Abeni swears she sees the metal bend under her grasp. Leah takes a deep breathe, throwing her head back against the seat cushion, and continues in a calmer tone. "You're in deep shit, Bee. You killed six men. The cops came to school to question you. Now, Rosalie Cullen is threatening to murder you and you want to see her again." She pauses. "Why did you even kill them?"

"They were abusers."

"They're not like your dad. You can't just-"

"You've never been abused," Abeni snaps. "How the fuck would you know who acts like my dad and who doesn't?"

"Bee."

"No. You said that this morning , too, but you've never met my dad. You know nothing about these guys. All you know is that their wives were consistent visitors at the shelter so, _why_ do you keep acting like I'm committing some terrible crime?"

"Because you're my friend," Leah says incredulously. "Because you murdered multiple people and you're acting like shit's peachy. Because I'm worried about you. "

Their relationship wasn't one for language. Abeni just knew that Leah came over so often because she couldn't bare to see her dad get weaker. She knew Leah still cried over Sam, sometimes, and she knew Leah loved her even if she never said it outloud. She also knew Leah was on her side. She didn't have to always agree with her for that to be true.

"Sorry," she says begrudgingly.

"I haven't told you but we started a new program on the rez. New Beginnings. It's for survivors of domestic violence." She runs a hand threw her hair. "We have talking circles where people can make dream catchers - don't say it - and eat lunch together."

"Where are you going with this?"

"We're having a healing ceremony next week and I want you to come. You could bring Fatima."

"Why do you want me to come?"

Leah gives her an _'are you dumb'_ look. Abeni rolls her eyes. Healing could be nice. She could see why Leah thought she needed it.

 _'Not just me, but umi, too.'_ Fatima - the woman who cried hysterically for hours if someone raised their voice too loud - needed healing. That made sense. Maybe, she could even bring Delphine.

"What'd the cops ask you about?"

"Routine shit. Did I see the men? Had they ever visited the shelter? That sort of thing," Abeni debates continuing. "They said someone's missing from the shelter. I think that's why they really wanted to talk to me."

"Who?"

"Maria." It felt weird saying her name to Leah like she was revealing a secret best left unsaid. "Me and her were, I guess, friendly enough for the cops to think I know where she is."

And the way Leah was looking at her. Scrutinizing her like Abeni was one of her paintings. 

"You fucked her," Leah says crudely. Abeni looks at her and Leah shrugs sheepishly, averting her gaze out the window. _'Okay. So, it's not just me. She knows there was too much bite in that, too.'_

"Sometimes. I didn't kill her though."

At that, Leah stares at her doubtfully.

"I didn't!" Abeni pouts. "Besides, last time I talked to her she was-" Abeni pushes that memory aside for a more appropriate one. "-going to Seattle! Shit. I should've told the cops that."

She almost makes way to leave the car before she realizes. Leah had asked two questions. Abeni could ask one.

"How much did you hear?" 

"Only the killing part."

"It took you awhile."

"I thought I was going crazy. One moment, I was reading this book -"

"What book?"

"The one I got from the library about the history of tattooing. You remember, right?" She picks it up off the floor and waves it. Abeni nods. "Yeah, well, I was reading my book and then, next thing I know I could hear everything. The stove. The cook yelling at the waiter."

"Me and Rosalie."

Leah nods. "It was gone so fast."

Abeni mulls the statement over. "Maybe, you're getting superpowers."

"What superhero?"

"Captain America," she offers with a grin.

Leah laughs.

Again, Abeni teeters on the edge of the seat - her body used to the sound of Leah's boots hitting the gravel when they exit her truck - and is dismayed when Leah stays seated.

"New Beginnings meeting," Leah says with a shrug. "That's why I couldn't pick you up."

"Oh," Abeni remarks with dismay. "This feels weird."

Leah reaches over the seats and shuts the door. She grins down. "See you tomorrow, Bee."

Her truck begins to pull off, leaving Abeni standing there dumbstruck. It wasn't that her and Leah spent _everyday_ together. They had a routine. Abeni went to school. Leah picked her up most days or Abeni came home to Leah eating her cereal. She didn't always sleep over, but she was always there. Like Fatima or the chaffing Abeni got whenever she wore jeans.

Weird.

She glances at her sister's car and decides not to head inside. There wasn't much else to do though. Normally she'd have her journal or her and Leah would go smoke in the woods.

 _'Is this codependency?'_

Better yet, she should just head inside. The moment her foot lands on the top step - a loud creak that has Abeni wondering how many days it has left - the door opens. Delphine peers down at her. 

Funny now that Abeni can look at her fully, she's noticing how Delphine doesn't look like her sister. Curls too loose and falling around her shoulders - the Delphine Abeni knew always kept her hair slicked back in a bun or ponytail. Bags hidden behind magic and makeup. Her glamour must be in place. More curious is the eyeliner around her eyes and the peek of lace beneath her hoodie. Abeni glances down at her hand to find her nails newly done.

"Why're you home?"

"Don't feel good," Abeni pushes past her into the house. "Where's mom?"

"Just dropped her off at work."

"Is that where you're going?" Abeni asks with a cock of her brow. There was no way that was a 'yes'. Delphine wasn't wearing scrubs.

"Yes," Delphine says curtly. "I don't have to pick you up then?"

"Nope. You're-"

The door slams shut. 

Her house is eerily quiet without her mom's soap operas playing or Leah's loud silence. It's a nice quiet. Abeni doesn't think she can recall a time where she'd been alone like this, without any idea of when someone would come to see her. 

Now, there was only the question of what to do with her time. She could delete the inevitable voice-message her school secretary would leave about her absence. Done. She could eat her mom's leftover hawawshi. Done. 

She could sleep? That was an idea.

She makes her way up the staircase. Her footsteps light enough that the floorboards shouldn't creak... and yet, they do. They emit a loud screeching accompanied by the deep clack of a shoe connecting with wood. Abeni looks down and wiggles her toes.

No point in waiting. Whoever it was already knew she was there. She continues walking up the stairs and throws open her bedroom door.

"Oh," she says blandly. Her heart beats erratically in her chest. "You could've knocked."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some PLOT. Things will be moving faster from now on.
> 
> What do you think Rosalie wants?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Some nights, your daughter tears herself apart yet heals in the morning.”  
> -Ijeoma Umebinyuo

Leah had lied to Abeni. There wasn't a New Beginnings meeting that day. Harry needed someone to drive him to the Seattle Hospital for his chemotherapy and her mom had to go to work. Looking back on it, she realizes she could've brought Abeni along - Abeni never taking anything seriously would've come in handy, something that Leah knew her and her dad would need desperately this hour long drive. 

Harry's steps are painstakingly slow as he moves to the car. Leah holds his arm the whole way through. She smothers the emotions threatening to claw their way out of her throat, trains her face blank. Her dad takes to silence the way Abeni does. He makes it comfortable, easy. Leah'd forgotten how serene the air was around him and how a younger her had wanted desperately to be like him, to mold silence in that way. 

She'd forgotten a lot of things it seemed. The grey hair touching his shoulders is thin. His hands shake when they aren't clutching his legs or folded in his pockets. In the car with him, it's so hard to ignore. She can feel it more the longer she drives- the pre-meditated grief. Harry looks so weak. 

"How's your friend Abeni? She still witching around?"

He chuckles at his own joke then, coughs.

"Hah hah," Leah remarks dryly. "She's good."

"It's her last year right? Does she know what she wants to do?"

Leah shakes her head. Abeni didn't talk about her future. "She'll probably do what I did and take a year off." She means the words to sound humorous. They come out strained.

"Leah," Harry begins.

"It's okay, dad."

"You should apply to Peninsula like you planned or somewhere out of state. Get away from here."

"Dad, it's okay."

"No, it's not." He's still talking. "I know you dropped out to help your mom and I - and I know you haven't been around because of-" He gestures with one steady hand, up and down his body. "-everything, but you deserve a future. We'll be okay. We'll make ends meet."

Leah can feel him looking at her. She spares him a quick glance to shoot him a wavering smile. Leah always had unpredictable emotions. Her childhood had been filled with skinned knuckles and bloody lips - fights she barely remembered now. Over the years, she'd learned to sand her temper down from a dagger to a needle. Breathing exercises. Focusing on the miniscule like the stray hairs on the dashboard or leaves on the trees. Nothing worked now. It wasn't just anger, everything felt too much, like she was walking around without skin and brushing against every damn edge or sharp corner.

It takes everything in her to contain the wave brewing in her. She checks her dad into the hospital and declines the nurse's offer to wait in the lobby - Harry simply nods when she replies as if he knows. She feels like a bomb. Every step is another tic until she slides into her seat, slamming the door so hard the glass rattles.

She glances at the flickering clock: '12:16' beams back at her - the one flickers in and out like a taunt. Two hours before her dad comes back. That was enough time, she reasons. She could clean herself up by then. 

Leah gnaws on her lip as she stares at her steering wheel. The curves of her hand permanently etched in the bent metal from her earlier conversation with Abeni. The tears take their time. One trickles down her cheek and then, another and another until she can't control it. She leans forward and sobs. 

She didn't know what was happening to her. 

Her dad sleeps on the drive home. As she walks him into the house - which is to say, she stands by him and mirrors his footsteps because god forbid Harry take her arm - the sound of laughter filters in through the windows. 

There's at least 10 of the other rez boys in her house. All of them crowded around the living room TV, ooing and ahing at the Xbox Seth had managed to find at the thrift store. She counts each one and names them.

"Where's Jacob?" She asks.

Quil shrugs. His mouth half-full with cheetos. "Got inducted into Sam's gang." Seth shoves his arm and he mumbles a half-apology to Leah. One she barely hears.

She shoots her dad an accusing glare and he sighs before turning away and making his way up the stairs. She follows him after she hears the door shut, collapsing down onto her bed.

Her room had become a sanctuary. One she always enjoyed spending time in when she wasn't... well, trying to run away. Her walls had become littered with her drawings and sketches, a few paintings here and there. Abeni didn't know but Leah often drew her - another reason why Leah didn't bring her up to her room as often anymore. 

Her favorite sketch would always be the one she drew when she first met Abeni - the girl in the shape of wolfsbane. Blues, blacks, and browns splattered on a white canvas. The second of her dad laughing with her mom in the living room. The third of a lone wolf wandering the forest. There was also her makeshift tattoo station in the corner, complete with pen ink and a sterilized needle. She had a few stick and pokes to commemorate her new hobby. One of a heart on her collarbone. Another of the word 'fuck' written on her thigh. 

Tattoo. Work. Art. Abeni. Anything to stop the itching under her skin. The burning. She taps her fingers rythmically against the wall. The boys shrieked from downstairs. One boy stomped energetically against the wood, rattling her room slightly. 

Leah scowled. Maybe, her mom was right. Maybe, she did spend too much time at Abeni's place - grown used to the silence - the loudness never used to bother her before. When she finally calms herself enough to go downstairs, the sky colors their home a dark salmon. The boys replaced in the living room now by her mom and her aunties. All the women cooing over Adam Beach. 

Leah knew what they were gonna say like the lyrics of her favorite song.

"He's exactly the kind of man I'd've wanted Grace to marry," Auntie Kareem would say like her daughter wasn't lost and gone.

And the others would exchange a pitying gaze, a tired gaze, before Sue - always Sue- broke the silence.

"I'd take him for myself."

The aunties would roar with laughter. And someone would ask, "What about Leah?" Usually, they'd pull a name out of the hat to throw Leah with. Some boy from the reservation who'd fallen for the grim-faced Clearwater. There was Eric in first grade who she made eat dirt for touching her. Luke, who she kissed at the pow-wow to show everyone she wasn't a lesbian. Jacob. Paul. For three years, they named Sam.

She sees one of the aunties open her mouth to say his name and bite her tongue just as the first letter slithers out. Then, the awkwardness. _'Smoke Signals_ ' plays softly in the background as they figure out a way to fill the silence.

Moments like these made Leah feel wrong somehow. She tries, you know? She tries to reach inside her and find something to make it easy. A _'you're good, auntie'_ or something witty and fun. A quick quip to dispel tension and make the room laugh. She reaches deep inside her and finds that same irritation, that same overwhelming mix of emotions from before so big and deep she has to sigh to swallow it back down.

"I'm sure Leah's found herself a nice man," Auntie Kareem interjects. "She's always off and about I've heard."

"With that black girl right?" Auntie Linda, the eldest of the aunties and the one with the biggest mouth, puffs her chest out slightly. Her words slick and heavy with meaning as she peers at Leah over the top of her glasses. "She's got a brother?"

Leah stares at Linda for a beat too long. Finally, she shakes her head. "She doesn't."

Auntie Linda nods and makes a soft sound of confirmation in the back of her throat. 

"Well, that's good you can get off the rez to see your friend." She places careful emphasis on the word 'friend', turning her gaze back to the TV to symbolize the end to the conversation.

Before Leah can open her mouth - some haughty reply or insult sits on the tip of her lips - her mom laughs sharply. Her rez accent thicker around her friends. "Aye, Linda. How's your son doing? He still hanging with those pretty boys in Seattle?"

The others' sharp cackles follow Leah as she walks away. She gets it. Jab for jab. Linda made space for Leah's sexuality to be questioned so, Sue brought up the thing she was trying to pretend didn't exist. Sue wasn't homophobic. Leah's sure she'd be okay if Leah had chosen anyone else. 

_'Chosen.'_ The word makes Leah's lips run dry. She slams shut the car door. The door handle slightly bends under the weight of her palm.

* * *

There are a few things she doesn't expect at Abeni's place. She doesn't expect to see Rosalie Hale walking out of her home. She doesn't expect Abeni to be standing there on the front step, eyes wide like she'd just been caught doing something particularly terrible. 

She expects the rage, though. The bitter taste of anger and an unfamiliar rotten emotion taking up all the space available in her throat. Abeni could damn well see whoever she pleased. Leah knew that, but _knowing_ didn't stop her from glaring daggers at the blonde as she walked past and down the street. Her heels and the unevenly paved road doing nothing to falter her strut.

"I feel like I just got caught cheating," Abeni muses. Her expression contemplative. 

"How do you always manage to make shit gay?" Leah asks as she walks by her. The familiar smell of curry and baked bread hit her nose. She looks over her shoulder to find her friend staring at her with that same contemplative look. "What?"

Abeni shakes her head. She brushes so close past Leah, Leah catches a whiff of that same disgusting scent she smelt whenever Abeni hung out with the Cullens and then, deeper underneath the coconut oil and shea butter she put in her hair and on her skin. At first, the scent had been so new to her she used to linger on Abeni's pillow when they slept on the floor. Now, it was sharper. It was like she could smell all the ingredients that mixed to make her friend even the soft scent of jam from the sandwich she must've made.

She sits down on the couch and curls her feet underneath her, angles herself towards Abeni and leans against the sofa cushion. 

"Why was Rosalie here?" She hopes that by asking the words slowly, the bitterness won't be too evident. From the way Abeni eyes her, she must fail. 

"Are you ever gonna tell me why you don't like them?" Abeni asks as she plops down next to Leah. 

"It's old beef, Bee."

"Yeah you've said that before," she mumbles. "You seem... tense."

Leah shrugs. She sits there not looking at Abeni, hoping that her silence will speak for herself, until Abeni sighs.

"You're doing that thing."

"What thing?"

"The thing where you won't talk about whatever you're upset about, but you make it so it's obvious you're upset," she leans forward. Her gaze meaningful. "Is this about Rosalie?"

"I don't care about your girlfriend." She means the words to come out careless, but all that emotion seeps through. She begins gnawing on her lip and picks up the remote to turn on the TV. Immediately, an infomercial plays. Abeni doesn't deny the girlfriend claim. She doesn't acknowledge it. She says nothing. A fact that grinds Leah's gears. How many times had Delphine called Leah her girlfriend and Abeni had snapped or denied it? What was so different about Rosalie?

"Is it about your family?" Leah's gaze snaps to Abeni's knowing one. They didn't talk about Leah's family. Betrayal would be too dramatic, but it feels right. Apt. She must take too long to respond because Abeni's mouth is twisted in a snarl. Her tone accusatory. "If you get to ask me questions about things I don't want to talk about, the same rule should apply to you."

"I talk about things I don't want to talk about." Even as she says it, Leah knows it's bullshit. 

"Don't fucking lie." Abeni scoots forward on the cushion - Rosalie's scent fading but still present - causing Leah to grimace. "What's wrong? Is it your dad?"

"Nothing's wrong, Bee."

Abeni scoots closer. Her knee bangs against Leah's. Leah scoots back. "You're considerably more pissed than you were a few hours ago."

"When does Fatima get home?"

"6. Don't deflect." Again, Abeni scoots closer. This time angling her body so, her hip crushes any former space between the two. "Is Harry okay?"

Leah presses her lips together in a thin line.

"I told you about my dad," Abeni scoffs.

Leah wants to say _'yeah, but your dad's dead.'_ As the thought comes to her mind, she knows it's too cruel to say out loud. She blinks rapidly quieting the knot in her chest, focusing intently on the TV drama. There wasn't anymore room to shift away from Abeni. It wasn't just her hip. It was her hand next to her hip, tucked tight in between Leah's thigh and the couch cushion. It was her leaning forward looking every bit beautiful. Her thick brows creased in worry or frustration or a mix of both. Leah could smell, feel, sense, everything. Painfully so. 

"Your skin's burning," Abeni mumbles. She takes her other hand - the free one not trapped by a thigh - and places it on Leah's forehead. And Leah _knows_. She knows Abeni's pushing Leah's boundaries for some mischievous desire, some chaotic motive. 

Leah's dumbass makes the mistake of looking at her friend - she means to turn her head and tell Abeni to back off - her eyes drop down from Abeni's face to her lips and finally, the peak of cleavage. She snaps them back up to her friend's face and wraps one burning hand around Abeni's wrist, moving her hand off of her forehead.

"Why're you being weird?" 

Abeni's face scrunches up in anger.

"You're the one who started it," she retorts. She scoots back to the other side of the couch.

"I didn't start it."

"Yeah, you did." Abeni abruptly stands and walks over to the DVD player. She pops in a movie, orders Leah to press play, and pouts in her corner of the couch until Leah does as she asks. Abeni's favorite movie, _Queen of the Damned_ , plays on the screen as Aaliyah weaves and shapeshifts her way out of stone. Leah bites her bottom lip. They'd seen this movie hundreds of times. Usually, Abeni would poorly imitate Aaliyah's body movements. Now, she stares pointedly at the screen.

"My dad has cancer," Leah finally says. "I brought him to his chemo appointment today."

Abeni's lips form an 'o'. She angles her whole body towards Leah, subtly telling her to continue.

"Is he doing better?"

Of course, she would ask the right question. The right sequence of words to just _hit_. 

Leah shakes her head. She blinks rapidly, tries to sigh her way into suppressing her emotions. The tears fall anyways. Before she knows it, she's trying to wipe the tears away and when that fails she tries to bury her face in her hands. The sobs causing her shoulders to shake and shiver. She hears Abeni mutter a curse before wrapping her arms around Leah in a tight embrace. Leah doesn't bother to try to speak. There'd been a weight in her chest that was growing by day - a premonition spreading throughout her bones and making her ill. Something was happening to her. Something was gonna change everything. And her dad... she didn't know. She didn't know.

"Let it out," Abeni whispers.

When Leah wakes up, she's still in Abeni's arms. Fatima's soft voice can be heard from the kitchen and the thick aroma of food hangs in the air. Her and Abeni didn't touch like this. She doesn't move - she wants to, but she doesn't. She lets herself lean deeper into Abeni's arms, snuggles just enough that she can smell more of the shea butter. She was grateful her friend couldn't see the warm content expression she was wearing. Grateful that Delphine wasn't there to make a snide remark and the roar in her chest was quiet if only for a little bit. 

A deepness in her bones tells her that this is like that time Abeni told her she loved her in the car. The words had pushed against an invisible boundary. Shattered it. Their bodies intertwined on the couch, Leah's cheeks stained with tears, was another fist against the wall of their friendship. Leah didn't know what would be left when all the boundaries were shattered. She didn't want to think about it or what she would do.

It annoyed her deeply, the careful dance she had to play between her dad and Abeni. She shuffled between the two compartments of her brain until one felt suffocating - trying to suppress them was like trying to drown a fish. They breathed easily and when she grew tired, the emotions clawed their way to the surface. She peels herself off the sleeping Abeni and walks to the kitchen. 

Fatima sings a soft tune in Arabic. Her hair is a dark halo of curls and kinks about her head. A patch of white decorates her nose where she had wiped flour. Her waitress uniform still on. Sometimes it amazed Leah how such a soft woman could give birth to her two daughters. Sue and Leah's roughness were kindred pieces of a puzzle. Seth was a perfect peaceful image of Harry. Leah could look at her mom and know where she got her stubbornness, her unwillingness to let shit go. Once she had asked Fatima how she could be so sweet and Abeni so mean.

"She takes after abbi," Delphine had interjected. 

Knowing what she knew now, Leah's glad Abeni hadn't been around to hear her. Actually, Leah wishes she hadn't said it at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just know I'm hearting all your comments!! Everytime I read one I get filled with so much joy. Jennifer's Body is definitely a source of inspiration when it comes to Abeni's attitude towards murder. I'm glad the readers feel real and tangible and ya'll are enjoying the way the characters play off of eachother. Bella and Abeni have and will continue to have a complicateed relationship. Next chapter will reveal what Rosalie wants :)
> 
> Abbi means 'my dad' in Egyptian Arabic.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You see... I am not lonely, because all that has ever happened to me is with me, keeps me company;”  
> -Harold Pinter

"What limits would you push to reverse something bad that happened to you?"

Murder obviously.

Rosalie sits across from Abeni on her bed. The walls are a dirty white that didn't brighten no matter how hard they scrubbed it - there is ripped blue wallpaper on one wall that they never were able to tear down. Really their landlord should've already repainted. The carpet is an ode to that same old wallpaper, a vibrant blue that had gotten dull with age. The dried herbs hanging from the ceiling. Chicken bones scattered on the windowsill. Her and her sister's mattress lying on the floor without a bedframe, only a box spring. All these details she had never paid attention to stand starkly against Rosalie's neatly pressed blouse and designer jeans.

The blonde had already insulted the space and apologized, an apology Abeni hadn't accepted. 

Abeni pretends to ponder. "Is that what you want me to do? Push?"

Rosalie smiles softly, averts her gaze to the ground. "I have three degrees in biology. In medical school, I've used the labs countless times to study the venom - the secret to creating a vampire."

"I'm guessing you-"

"I failed, yes. How abstute," she breathes deeply. "The problem is that the venom functions like most viruses. It's not. There's no DNA or RNA to analyze. Not a nucleic acid. I can analyze it down to cell but no farther. I can't..." 

Her voice catches on the rest of her sentence, halting it. She looks up as if by reflex. Abeni half-expects to see tears of blood pooling in the corners of her eyes. Nothing comes of it.

"The only other explanation is magic." At Abeni's expression of confusion, she continues. An edge of reluctant urgency creeps into her voice. "You killed those men without touching them or being near them. They died without a scratch."

"And?" What Abeni had done hadn't been revolutionary or particularly hard. Her mom or her sister could've done it if they tried. "I'm sure you know witches who've done more."

"The witches I know have refused," she says carefully after a pause.

Abeni's eyes narrow. "Why?"

"All written records of our _people_ -" Her voice lilts. "-and what created us have been destroyed by the ruling vampires. The Volturi. They don't take kindly to people trying to find out-"

"Meaning they'll murder me. Why should I-"

"I'll compensate you," Rosalie says quickly. She reaches in her pocket and pulls a thick bundle of cash out of her wallet. "Repeatedly. Whatever you need."

Abeni's eyes flicker from the wallet up and back to Rosalie's golden eyes.

"They know nothing about you or your family. Your powers- they do something. Not like other witches or like Bella," she pauses, searching for the words. "Edward can read everyone's mind and my brother, Jasper, can manipulate people's emotions."

A feeling like bile or revulsion rises in Abeni.

"I know," Rosalie says, reading Abeni's expression. "But he can't read yours. He tried and he got a headache. Jasper told us that he could feel your emotions, your anger, but couldn't touch it. When he tried, it attacked him. Almost sent him in a rage."

"What does this have to do with the Volturi?"

"Whatever magic you do doesn't just protect you, it turns a vampire's power on itself. The Volturi wouldn't be able to find you. Your family would be protected."

"And you really think all that money will make me help someone like you?" Rosalie blinks pointedly and Abeni has to clarify, she's not pointing to one monster, she's pointing to the other. "I don't give a shit about you being a vampire. You're white and rich and whatever you guys did has a whole tribe hating you-"

"That's complicated."

"There's so many reasons why I shouldn't help you," Abeni snaps, more angry that the blonde cut off her words than the sentiment behind them. 

But the positives were thick and meaningful.

The Cullens and her were tethered. Her head throbs dull, a half-hearted warning or encouragement she doesn't know. Again, Abeni looks at the wad of cash - Rosalie had placed it in the space between them, an offering of sorts. With that much money and more they could move out of this house into one with three bedrooms. She could give some to Leah, too, so she wouldn't have to stress as much or place it under her sister's pillow as a white flag. It both amazed and annoyed her that so many people she loved would have their lives changed by that much money, and here was Rosalie Hale offering it and more like it was _nothing_.

"I wouldn't ask you if I had other options."

"Oh. You've made that abundantly clear," Abeni quips. As she picks the wad of cash up, she makes note of the way Rosalie's shoulders slacken. She counts it. 

Five grand. Abeni was holding five grand. 

"Fuck," she whispers, trying to compose herself. "This is what's stopping you from killing me?"

"More or less," Rosalie responds with a grimace. The next words seem to take much effort to leave her mouth. "You have to understand. Vampires can't forget." Abeni sees the desperation snaking around in Rosalie's bright gold eyes. She seems to shift to memory and back into this room again and again before she speaks. "We remember _everything_. There's nothing that's not vivid for me."

Abeni didn't know shit about immortality. Lives were weaved together like threads, see? Her life, her other life, and how many lives before that all connected by one soul. Coat the thread in grease, make it hard to grip, make it difficult for meddling hands, and that's protection. Intertwine it with another, call it a love spell. Snip the thread prematurely and you have what Abeni did to her father. Death. The pitfalls of living as one eternal stream of consciousness, of remembering every name and nostalgia, never crossed her mind. 

Imagine never being able to forget - a concept Abeni danced close to, but never fully reached. There were parts of her other life she couldn't recall, names that became nostalgias for something forgotten. She didn't want to know these full truths. She wanted to know specifics like her connection to the Cullens. She could do without the nightmares. Her death replaying over and over unless she wandered in some unsuspecting person's dream. 

She could understand why Rosalie wanted Abeni to find whatever curse or spell that made them exist and possibly unravel it. She could get the ache, the desire. That coupled with the sheer want in Rosalie's voice and Abeni had no choice. Even if she didn't fully understand. Even if she was better at destruction than helping. All Rosalie needed to know was that she was good for it.

"I'll do it." Rosalie's expression brightens so much Abeni thinks her heart will jump into her throat with how beautiful she is. "But, I need you to do something for me first."

What's important is that Rosalie listens to Abeni's request. She stands and nods, contemplative.

"Is that all?" She asks as she puts on her shoes. 

"You'll do it? Just like that?"

"It's simple enough," she sniffs the air and stands. Her dainty nose twitches. "Your friend is here. I guess it's my time to leave."

Out of her pocket she pulls a thick wad of papers folded neatly and pressed tight so as to appear tiny. The handwriting is so pretty, Abeni thinks, all loops and curls. "These are a collection of the notes I made while studying our venom. Call me if you need more help."

Their fingertips brush when Abeni grabs it. She isn't shocked by the cold, she was used to it by now, and there was no spark. No warmth. Their eyes lock, Rosalie's lips pull down in a frown, her expressions shift in the subtleties. The quirk of her brow. The slight downturn of her lips or a twitch into a smile. Abeni doesn't break the lock of their eyes. Rosalie is the one to snap away and turn out the hallway, down the stairs.

* * *

"Tell me about vampires." The next day, she takes a seat across from Bella in the cafeteria. Her short hair is more styled now, but still spiked in different directions. It suits her more than her longer hair ever did. Like this there's nothing for her to hide behind. 

Bella swallows whatever piece of food was lodged in her throat. "What do you mean?"

"Where do they come from?"

She shakes her head. "Edward never told me that."

"Can you kill them?"

Bella's eyes widen. Abeni imagines the memory of the man being thrown in the fire playing in her head. "Yeah," she says quickly.

"With a stake?"

"No. You have to dismember them," she glances back down at her food. "And set them on fire."

"That's excessive."

Bella shrugs. "Why do you want to know?"

"Research." She, then, slides Bella a small bag of weed - one which Bella takes quickly - and leaves.

_'It always comes back to fucking fire,'_ she thinks. Pinpricks explode along the back of her skull confirming her suspicion. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and what the bible forgot to mention, flame to flame. To dust you came from and to dust you return. It was a long shot but if her mom taught her anything it was that death and life were cyclical. A thin thread to clamp on, but _it was something_. Something more than what Rosalie gave her with her myths of venom and the scientific papers Abeni could barely hope to comprehend.

What the fuck was a deoxyhemoglobin? Vitro hypoxia? 

"Red blood cells without oxygen," Leah explains without much effort. She shrugs. "Hypoxia has something to do with oxygen, too."

"What the fuck?"

Leah smirks, but doesn't reply.

Oxygen. Fire. Red blood. There's something there. Something clicking. Abeni sighs.

She calls Rosalie later that week and asks her the same question: _Where do vampires come from?_ She uses the only other phone available in her mom's room and closes the door. As she waits for Rosalie to pick up she wanders about, her bare feet cushioned by the pale blue carpet. Ever since Rosalie came over she was noticing details about her home she hadn't paid attention to. The obviously disgusted way she had looked about Abeni's room colored her mouth bitter. 

Would Rose notice the faint patch of turmeric stained on the carpet? Fatima's old worn comforter she had dyed and dyed again whenever it faded? Would she scowl at the peeling paint, the same way she had done to Abeni?

_"You're being rude," Abeni had said._

_The blonde opened and closed her mouth, whatever haughty reply she had dying with the rest of her disgust._

_"I'm sorry." Abeni could tell it pained her to say it. "I've never... I've always lived a privileged life."_

_"Doesn't mean you can be an asshole."_

_Rosalie glared. "Which is why I apologized."_

It was obvious to Abeni that the Cullens, with all their money and decades of wisdom, had forgotten what a genuine apology was. If she had less of an inkling towards self-preservation she might've told Rosalie so.

"Abeni." Her familiar soft voice jumpstarts Abeni back into reality.

"Hey. Where do vampires come from?"

Rosalie's laugher is like wind chimes. 

"What?"

"You sound like a child asking about the birds and the bees," she replies smoothly. "I already told you I don't know."

She hears a faint buzzing in the microphone. A soft distinguishable hum and clicking sound that wasn't there before. It lasts for a half of a second, so quick that Abeni wonders if she imagined it. Rosalie lets out a distinguished sound of irritation.

"How am I supposed to figure out how to lift the curse if you don't even-"

"Watch your mouth," Rosalie snaps. 

"No," Abeni retorts without thinking. She breathes deeply, swallows the childish impulse to pout or stomp. "Sorry. I'm-"

The bedroom door opens a hare and Leah steps through. She carefully cradles a spoon of collard greens in one hand while the other hand hovers underneath. Abeni can see tiny spots of green in her palm. She cocks one eyebrow. Her eyes flickering from the phone Abeni had now covered with her palm to her face and back.

"We called you downstairs," she grumbles. Her eyes flicker again to the phone. "Fatima wanted you to try this."

Abeni waits for Leah to shuffle closer, dip the spoon to her mouth, but her friend simply holds out the spoon for her to take. When their eyes meet, Leah cocks one eyebrow and gestures with her head to the spoon. _'Come take it,'_ she communicates.

"Can you just feed me?" She raises the phone. "I'm kinda tangled."

"Seriously?"

She smiles. "I don't wanna drop it."

"You're annoying," Leah mutters.

But, she feeds her the bit of collard greens. She doesn't wait for Abeni's confirmation or thumbs up before leaving, shuffling and slamming the door lightly behind her. Falling asleep with Leah in her arms was knocking them both off balance, making Leah keep her arm's distance and a hair away, causing Abeni to push against the ever thickening wall. She just didn't get how Leah could spend all her time with Abeni and not want to be seen, not want to talk about the important things like her dad, but press for Abeni to reveal all her tender and wounded bits. It didn't make sense. It was infuriating. Even more infuriating was how Abeni knew how talking about those wounded bits deeply hurt Leah - she had only ever seen her cry once or twice when discussing Sam back in the summer time. She understood that it was easier to keep it locked up. Was it fair to ask Abeni to share when she refused to? Abeni didn't think so. She didn't think it was fair that she was creating this wall either. 

Abeni sighs and returns to the phone. 

"Trouble in paradise?" Rosalie questions. 

Telling Rosalie to fuck off would've been too easy. As equally as easy as it would've been for Rosalie to fly to Forks and rip out her throat. She sits on her mom's bed. The heavy hint of okra and her mother's favorite musk assault her nose in a flurry of dust.

"I don't understand your notes," she replies after a deep breathe. "I work with magic not science."

"I can help you understand. Is there ever a time when your... friend is not there?"

"No."

Rosalie makes a deeply dissatisfied noise in her throat. "Okay," she replies.

"So how will you-"

The dial tone cuts off whatever question Abeni was going to ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was rushed on my part, but still! I wanted to get this to ya'll sooner rather than later. I won't be posting a chapter until December due to grad school kicking my ass. Here's a taste of what's to eventually come: _""Your dad's dying." The words are part guttural scream, part weep. Sue's eyes are saucers in her face, her right arm gesturing out wildly to her husband. It cuts through whatever Leah had been saying. "Grow up."_
> 
> Thank you for your kind words. Writing these characters are definitely helping me improve my writing and I want this to be complex! Real relationships often are. And yes what Delphine said is fucked up and yes brown girls! Part of the inspiration for this story was giving community/support to two characters I felt like had none in the original series. With that being said, romance isn't a priority for this story though it will happen. 
> 
> I also forgot to mention that New Beginnings mentioned last chapter was/is an actual program introduced to the Quileute Tribe circa 2005. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you know what it means to have a wound that never heals?"
> 
> -Natasha Trethewey
> 
> cw: discussions of domestic violence, abuse, character death 

Leah's hair had been growing so fast since September, it extended down to her bra strap now - a thick curtain she kept parted in the middle and tucked behind her ears or braided. When she cut it the first time, she hadn't thought about it growing back. She'd been grief-stricken, ready to make her mourning visible in the only way she knew how. She'd thought she had more time honestly, she thought she'd cut it short enough to avoid the question of what it would mean to grow it back. _Are you done grieving_? The answer was a simple 'no'. Prior to Sam, her and her mom had cut their hair when Grace went missing - another addition to the long list of native women who disappeared, no body. And before Grace there'd been Randy. Jenna. Her mom's sister long gone before Leah could remember her face. She didn't cut her hair for every death - there'd be no point then, she'd rather be bald. 

Grief's hands were so heavy in her hair, she could hardly imagine a world beyond this one. Her dreams of an RV or opening a tattoo shop or living in Harlem with Abeni felt like dreams not possibilities. That is until she walks into Abeni's home as usual, ready to bring her and her family to the New Beginnings meetings, and her friend excitedly shows her her gift.

"How did you afford this?" She eyes the tattoo gun sitting pretty in a cardboard box on Abeni's living room table. It was one of those guns they used in tattoo shops, complete with all the working gears and parts; different sized needles, ink, etc. Deeper in her words is a choked sob - even deeper than that is an alternate universe where she completely shatters the wall of their friendship and wraps Abeni in a tight hug. 

At times like this, she wonders what worlds her ancestors would've invented if this limiting language hadn't been shoved down their throats. Would they have described the feeling you get when you love someone so much, feel so seen, that you don't know what to do with your mouth? 

"Does it matter?" Abeni thrusts the box towards her. "Now you can get skilled. It comes with a manual and shit."

Delphine pops her head out of the kitchen. Today, she looks like herself. "You got competition, Leah. Abeni's got herself a sugar daddy."

The two sisters exchange a loaded glance. Leah expects Delphine to poke her head back, disappear as she often did, but she steps out, her lips curled in a suspicious grin. 

"A sugar daddy?" Leah questions.

Delphine nods. "Yep. One who gives her thick wads of-"

"Fuck off, Deli," Abeni snaps. "I thought we called a truce."

Too late.

"Rosalie's giving you money now?" Leah asks. It didn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together. She tries to keep her tone neutral and fails, her voice lacks the bite it held last week, but it's still there like an undercurrent. Delphine cocks a brow, her grin growing.

"Rosalie," she whistles. She pauses contemplatively. "Is that the girl who-"

"Fuck off," Abeni rolls her eyes. "Let's not talk about the Cullens. This is supposed to be about healing, right?"

Would her ancestors have described the feeling that comes up when you want to choke out your loved one? Leah often felt English wasn't enough, the few words she knew in their tongue even less. She nods slowly at Abeni, deciding not to press, less out of care or respect for Abeni's decision and more because she could feel the emotions clawing at her throat. She didn't have time for that clusterfuck.

They don't end up taking Leah's car. All five of them pile into Delphine's car - Fatima in the front with Abeni and Leah seated in the back, two pans of food stacked high next to Abeni. Delphine plays a Soft R&B tune as Fatima hums along in song, sometimes, the family takes turns asking Leah questions. Who will be there? Will there be food? Why? She tries her best to answer the 'why' without discussing Abeni's hobby, but she catches her best friend's eye and that fails - they both share a grin too big for their faces. Leah, for no reason other than because Abeni's smile is infectious.

They pull up to a dark grey house with one bright purple door. Abeni can see the crowd of women in the back, hear their laughter ringing loud in her ears. Almost as soon as she readies herself to shrink or pause, Leah's unsure hand finds her shoulder. Her touch is tentative, barely grasping her shoulder - she turns to look at her friend and is almost surprised to find Leah meet her gaze.

"I'm here," she says, the words _'if you need to leave_ ' hanging unsaid at the end of her sentence. 

Delphine hands both her mom and Abeni a stick of gum. 

_'This is a safe space,'_ Abeni repeats the words like a mantra as they exit the car and the sounds get louder. Overlapping and mixing from the sea to the music to their voices. She focuses on the sound of her gum snapping in her jaw as Leah and Delphine make introductions. 

"I'm happy you all came," says Hannah, the creator of the program. A two-spirited person with a smile so big and warm Abeni felt like home when they looked at her, distracting her briefly from the red hand-print covering the bottom half of their face.

_"You don't need to explain it," she had whispered to Leah. "Two-spirit is beyond gender, right?"_

_Leah's grin had been soft, a faint expression on her face. She nodded._

"You're the girl Leah hangs around with," repeat different aunties. Some say it with a laugh, others with a hint of suspicion. 

She can feel them watching her as day turns to night and the fire is lit. Maybe, she's paranoid, but it seems they're waiting for a slip up - some sign that she's worthy of gossip. Part of her wants to keep Leah at a distance so as not to cause her life any more stress. The other part, the bigger part, wants to hang onto Leah just to see their reaction. And she does. Hang onto Leah that is. She doesn't touch her - that'd be too far and their friendship was delicate enough as is - but she lets Leah lead her away from the party once or twice, on a walk or just simply to a place where the sounds are quieter. Correction. She likes to think she lets her lead her away, but the truth is she got overwhelmed when the women laughed too loud and Leah knew. 

Trauma is a weird thing. Sometimes, she got so deeply overwhelmed with sounds and other times, she could sit there perfectly unbothered. Perhaps, the question of why would be something she could answer in therapy. She could afford therapy now what with her being employed by a rich ass immortal. 

They were all quieter now that the food had been eaten. They sat in a circle, legs crossed in chairs or on the grass. Fatima, much to Abeni's surprise, hadn't had to leave. She'd laughed with the others as their time wore on and spoke as if she wasn't the same woman who cried when a car drove by too loudly.

"Now that we've eaten, are ya'll ready to begin?" Hannah says with a clap of their hands. Around the circle is a collective murmur of agreement. " As we all know, this is a bit different from our few meetings so far, but Kareem and I thought it'd be better this way. More comforting. For those who are new, Indigenous women are disappearing -" Again, the circle breaks out in a disembodied voice of agreement. "- and being beaten. We are not the only ones suffering abuse, but this group was created to honor those we have lost and those who are still suffering."

They pick up a stick Abeni didn't know they had - a perfectly nice stick that had been leaning against the arm of their chair. "Whoever has the stick can speak and share why they're here," their eyes scan the faces in the crowd, pausing at Abeni. Their words careful and precise. "I'll begin. My name is Hannah. I am not Quileute. My people are Dine and I am Nadleehi, two-spirit. I was twelve when my cousin was beaten by her husband and I was thirteen when she disappeared."

One of the women leans forward to touch Hannah's thigh, a comforting gesture that causes Abeni to shove Leah's shoulder slightly and glance pointedly at the pair. She juts out her chin when Leah shrugs.

 _'That's gay,'_ she communicates with her brow. _'They're gay_.'

_'Seriously? Aunt Kareem?'_

' _Look at them._ '

Hannah had since wrapped one hand around Kareem's, the one that was curled on their high. Leah glances at them quickly and nods slowly. The corners of her lips pulled down and her eyebrows raised slightly. 

Abeni leans back in her own seat smugly. 

As the women share their stories, a knot forms in Abeni's chest. Growing and building. Kareem with her daughter, Grace. A younger woman with a split lip offering nothing more than one word. Another who could barely get the story out without sobbing. She finds herself shifting closer and closer to Leah's warmth until the chair is but a thin barrier, barely stopping her from feeling her skin. Well, that and the chair was tiny. Abeni's ass could barely fit in it. 

She blinks when she realizes her mom is the one with the stick, Delphine had simply passed it to her, opting not to speak. She blinks again when she sees the faint tears in Fatima's eyes even her smile is shakey.

"Hello, I'm Fatima. I am so grateful that my daughter's friend-" Abeni's so grateful she didn't say girlfriend. "-invited us here. I relate so much to all of your stories..."

Her voice falters. Cracks. Abeni wishes she could lean across the fire and grasp her mother's hand, but instead, it's Delphine. Delphine cradles Fatima's free palm between hers.

"My husband was a lot like my father. He used his hands and I let him. He gave me this-" She points to her nose. "-and this-" She pats her leg. She had walked with a limp for as long as Abeni had lived this life. "-but it was always agreed upon. I told him, I said, you can touch me but never touch our daughters. Never."

Abeni is clutching Leah's hand in a death grip. 

"Of course he didn't listen. That was my first mistake, mm. And the part is I don't think I would have ever left him. Even after he broke that one promise. And when he kept breaking that promise. I would have stayed. That is the thing. I have never been a strong woman - it was always someone else, mm - but my daughters are very strong. Very very strong women. They always have been and I've always admired them for that even if their strength scares me sometimes."

Rage rises in Abeni's throat. 

"I wish I chose to leave him. My daughter, Abeni, was the one who decided for me. I've never-"

She drops her friend's hand and leaves. She finds herself grateful for the abundance of forests in Washington, she walks into the trees and wills herself to disappear. 

"Abeni!" Leah calls.

Men. Men. Men. In her dreams and in her childhood, raging against her and making her burn. She didn't know what Fatima was thinking sharing that story. The comfort she wanted to give her mom quickly dissipates into grief or anger. She can't tell which one she's carrying. All she knows is that it burns. 

Leah grabs her shoulder - gently just the fingertips- and Abeni whips around, the perfect embodiment of fury. There's tears in her eyes, her mouth pulled down in a frown so deep. 

"She should've protected us," she chokes out. "She was weak."

Leah stands with her mouth agape, unsure of what to say. 

"You don't have to agree with me," Abeni says after a pause. "I know that's controversial. It's just... I was the one to kill him and I don't feel bad about but it was me. And to have to sit there and hear her say that she wouldn't have left, that I would've had to live with him."

Hesitantly, Leah wraps her hands around her waist and just like that Abeni collapses.

"I'm sorry."

She lets Abeni cry into her chest for god knows how long. Her hiccups and shudders blend in with the sound of waves - Aunt Kareem's house was closer to the ocean - crashing against the rocks. 

"We don't have to go back. We can go to my house," Leah offers. "My parents had to take my dad to his appointment."

She falters on the last sentence enough that Abeni lifts her head to stare at her with a knowing gaze, letting the silence between them spread and cause Leah to shift uneasily. Abeni was so beautiful in the moonlight she looked blue. 

"What?"

"Nothing," Leah steps back. "Do you wanna come? I can tell your mom you're spending the night with me."

Abeni nods.

When Leah tells her mom, Abeni stays off to the side away from the group. She notices the way the others glance at the pair. Eyes shifting from Abeni to her mother to Leah. She imagines them speculating about the two, wondering about the drama that Fatima's words had caused. She can also see Delphine, arms folded leaning against the side of the building. She doesn't make way to come to Abeni or ask if she's okay. She stands there glaring. 

_'But Delphine...'_ Abeni reminds herself. _'Delphine had the option to leave. She left. She has no right to be mad._ '

They walk to Leah's house in an almost comforting silence.

"Do you ever get used to the sound of waves?" Abeni asks.

"It becomes like breathing," Leah replies. "My ancestors have always lived here, you know? I can't imagine life without it."

Leah always smelled like a mix of salt water and wood. 

"Sometimes, that's how I feel. Like this land, not here, but you know, the United States is all my ancestors' have ever known after they were stolen," She rolls her lips together. " 'Cept my mom's dad. He was Egyptian, but still."

"That's why you guys speak Arabic?"

Abeni nods. "My grandma is where the magic comes from, though."

Leah crouches down on her porch step and Abeni follows suit. The night air is cold, but with Leah near by it is just a bit warmer. She's her own personal fire.

"Do you wanna visit Egypt?"

Abeni shrugs. 

"Do you wanna visit-" At Leah's face, she swats her arm. The connection causes her fingers to ache slightly. Leah's muscles were stone. "I was going to say, would you wanna visit your ancestor's land?"

Leah gives her one long dumbfounded look. "This is my ancestor's land."

"Yes, but before all of this," she gestures nonsensically to the air. "Before the white men came."

"Would you?"

"We wouldn't have met then." Abeni's voice is small. 

"Yes we would've."

"I'd be in Africa, Leah."

"I'd still find you," she says the words so simply like they didn't carry weight, like they wouldn't be separated by land, sea, and technology. Weirder still is that Abeni wants to cry again. She doesn't know if it's the moonlight shining on Leah's face or how she's close enough all Abeni would have to do is lean forward - a phrase her mom used to coo over her as a child pops in her head. She even lets it stumble out of her lips.

"What's that mean?" Leah asks.

Abeni licks her lips and avoids her gaze to the sky. Translating the broken Arabic to English would make it more real. Too real.

"You could tell the moon, 'move over, and I'll sit in your place." She knows she should explain. She wants to scoot back - the heat from Leah's body feeling unbareable now even in the cold of night. "It's what my mom used to say when we looked nice. You look more beautiful than the moon. Qamar."

Abeni's grateful Leah can't hear her heart. It threatens to beat out of her chest. In her silence, she glances back at her friend. Leah stares at her - her expression a mosiac, a conflicted puzzle - and the moon still illuminates her skin blue. The browns of her face popping through and blending with the blues like waves. A painting. If only she had a phone so, she could capture it for later.

"Was that too gay?" Abeni asks nervously. She means to shift away, but Leah places one burning hand on her thigh.

And kisses her. 

Abeni gasps. Leah's lips are fire- the cracks of her bottom lip, the ripe tenderness of her still healing top mixing together to create a roughness. Leah doesn't kiss her tender. A desperation leaves the kiss wanting. Abeni leans in even though she can't breathe. 

"Are you okay? You're really hot." Abeni almost chuckles at her own joke. "Like seriously hot."

She places one palm on Leah's forearm and tries not to draw back even as her hand shifts from a slight pinprick to a sharp stab.

"Yeah," Leah nods frantically. Her voice breathless. "I'm okay. Are you okay?"

Abeni nods and they kiss again. Somehow they stand and move from staircase to Leah's living room. Abeni stumbles as Leah pushes her gently against the wall, surprises herself by the sheer amount of want radiating off her friend. Where had this been before? Where did she keep it hidden? 

Leah physically held her up with her hands and the press of her crotch, not much else. A carefully curated chair Abeni never imagined sitting in. She made it look easy. _Easy_. 

"What?" Leah asks when Abeni pulls back to furrow her brows in confusion.

"You're carrying me," Abeni begins slowly. Her eyes scan her friend's face for some sign of strain and finding none, she squints. "Are you good?"

"You're not heavy, Bee," Leah replies.

Bullshit. Abeni came from a long line of rolls and abundance. She knew she carried her weight in gold. 

Leah shifts in such a way the crotch of her jeans rub against Abeni's leggings. Abeni closes her eyes, a soft sound of satisfaction escaping her lips, and the onslaughter begins again. With one hand - Abeni curls her legs around her best friend's narrow hips- Leah grabs her chin and kisses her.

It's hard to describe their kiss in action. Easier to describe in terms of like. Abeni likes how when she grinds up against Leah, her friend groans so deep she vibrates. She likes the harsh grip Leah holds on her hip. The way Leah feels on the edge of snapping. The want. The waves crashing outside. Leah's body moving against hers. 

She focuses on these things and tries to ignore the pinpricks of heat radiating off of Leah. The longer they kiss the harder it gets - their movements only stoke the flame until Abeni's burning. Suddenly, she's not on the verge of having sex with her best friend. Leah kisses her into memory. A burning room. Her past life, her nightmares, slapping her in the face and ridding her stuck. 

She tries to move through the stuckness. She hopes Leah peppering her neck with kisses will make it easier, but as Leah moves down so does the fire.

"You're burning," she whispers. 

Leah pops up. "Do you want me to stop?"

She smashes her face against hers instead of responding. Somewhere between her biting Leah's neck and Leah pulling her pants down, the front door opens.

She jumps, her eyes wide as she turns her head, already knowing what she'll see. Sue looking every bit unsurprised and pissed. Harry looking like he wished he was anywhere but in that room.

"Shit," she hisses at the same time Leah says, "Fuck."

Faster than she can blink, her feet are on the ground and Leah is four steps away, her own hands that had just been caressing Abeni's body, now stuffed firm in her pockets. Her cheeks a dark pink - Abeni would laugh in any other situation, she'd never seen Leah change colors before. 

She tugs her shirt down and pants up, suddenly finding the way her button takes forever to loop into her jeans fascinating.

"I saw your ma and sister heading out of Kareem's house, Abeni," Sue states tightly. "I'm sure they're looking for you."

Abeni looks up, finally having gotten the button in the loop. "I'm sleeping over," she says with a nod. 

She sees Harry let out a puff of air and slightly shake his head, obviously trying to warn her or prepare himself for what could easily be a fight. The door opens again and Seth stumbles through into the living room - his expression quickly shifting from sleepy to alarmed.

"Uh-"

"Seth can take you home."

"Seth can't drive," Leah comments, looking at her mom for the first time. 

Harry's eyes get so wide - Seth shaking his head rapidly from his mom to his sister - that Abeni has to bite her cheek from laughing. Now is not the time, she reminds herself. Now is not the time.

Sue wears fury so well. Arguably, better than her daughter. 

"Your dad can bring her."

"Abeni can stay."

Abeni can't look at Seth. She can't. She'll die. 

Sue blinks rapidly, shakes her head, a mixture of perplexment and anger slowly rising across her face. "What?" She holds up one hand, freezes it mid-air, as if to pause the room and give space for her thought. "Is this some sort of magic? Is that what this is? A spell?"

It takes a moment for Abeni to realize she's asking _her_. Another moment for her face to catch up - her eyes widen in disbelief, her eyebrows touch her hairline.

"You think I put a spell on Leah?"

"Sue," Harry cautions.

"Ever since you two started hanging out together, Leah has changed-"

"And it's because of her," Leah interrupts. "Not because my boyfriend, who I was damn near engaged to, fucked my cousin?"

Abeni can't help it. Seth looks so much like a fish, she lets out a puff of air that trickles down into silence. 

"I'll bring Abeni to Jacob's for a bit," Seth offers. He gestures with his head for both of them to leave. Abeni looks to Leah who nods just slightly. They would talk later. Abeni would comfort her later, that much she knew. 

Sue waits until the door shuts to start again.

"How long has this been going on?"

Leah sighs. Normally, she'd ignore her mom - train in the ways of her father and wait calmly for the storm to pass. Actually, that's a lie. That is what she wants to do.

And at first, she succeeds. She lets Sue rant and rave about her. The arguments, the pent up frustrations, crash and ease as she shifts from grevience to grievence; the new stick and pokes Leah had taken to adorning herself with, the way she'd been avoiding them, the rumors from her friend's. Every sound is magnified. Leah can barely manage to focus on her mom's words. Instead it's the sound of her dad's labored breathing, the slight screeching of her mom's boots against the wood of their home. Every sound another itch she adds. 

How can she tell her mom her skin feels like a burden? A cage she carries around, too tight around her flesh? She opens and closes her mouth many times - the desperation she felt shifting to irritation and then, anger. Her mom didn't even ask. Ungrateful. She was ungrateful. 

"I work all the fucking time. I dropped out of school to help you pay for bills-" She bites her tongue. Her rage faltering when she looks at her dad's solemn face. She couldn't do that. She couldn't talk about what she was really upset about without breaking. "What does Abeni matter? We're friends."

"Oh?" Her mom draws back. "Six men have died at the shelter she works at."

"They beat up their wives. They deserved it."

"You believe in murder now," she turns to Harry. "What did I tell you? Her hanging out with that girl-"

"I can hang out with whoever I-"

It's easier to talk about Abeni than the elephant in the room, her dad coming closer to his warring family, his hands raised in mercy and plea. Whatever he's saying gets drowned out as they grow louder. Perhaps, it's a _please_ or a _'we don't need to do this'_ , Leah doesn't know. Later, she'll wish she had calmed down. Listened more. Later she'll regret it all from kissing Abeni to screaming with her mother.

Right now, she just feeds the rage. The grief. Any and every emotion threatening to burst out of her chest.

She doesn't know when Seth comes back. She does know she knocks the books off the table. Her and Sue's expression a mirror of rage, a dance, as she moves away from her mom and her mom moves close. Harry isn't between them when her mom says it. He's with Seth, staring at the storm in their living room.

"Your dad's dying." The words are part guttural scream, part weep. Sue's eyes are saucers in her face, her right arm gesturing out wildly to her husband. It cuts through whatever Leah had been saying. "You need to grow up."

To others it was a split second change. To her, it felt like ages. Her muscles ripping, shredding, making room for something bigger. Stronger. Every emotion in her chest rising to the surface and coating her skin in a thick layer of fur. 

The living room is smaller like this. Her family smaller. Her mom stares at her wide-eyed. Seth's mouth hangs to the floor. Her dad... he blinks.

"Leah," he whispers although she hears him as clear as day.

He clutches his chest and collapses on his knees. Sue rushes over. Leah moves to step forward, but falters. She has _paws_. She's walking on four legs. 

"Seth, call 911," Sue orders as she begins CPR.

Seth is shaking his head. He moves to grab their one corded phone, but it falters. His fingers seem too jittery, too skittish to hold it properly. He picks it up again and dials 911. His eyes shift constantly from the wolf in his living room to his father on the ground... his father who wasn't moving. Or breathing.

They say they'll be there fast.

One hour later and Sue is still pumping, breathing air into her husband. 

"He'll be fine," Sue whispers. "He'll be fine. Where's the fucking ambulance?"

Her head whips to Seth and he attempts to dial it again. _'They'll be there fast,'_ they say again. Leah wants to snatch the phone, to scream, to do what her mild-mannered brother wouldn't. _'Our ambulance will be there as soon as they can.'_

Leah stands in her wolf form as the grief in the room thickens. She can see it choking her brother. All those emotions rising to his throat as it had done her and coating his body. Not fur. Not yet.

That happens when Sue stops doing CPR on their father, but Leah knew way before. Her eyes, these wolf eyes, could see the soul slip out. A ghost. A breathe of spirit easing it's way and disappearing in the cracks of the wood. Her body, this body, wants to howl. She holds back the urge, stares instead in disbelief as her mom announces his death. As Seth shapeshifts and her mom howls in her own way, clutching her dad's lifeless body.

 _'This is all my fault,'_ she thinks.

She hears her mom shout her name as she bursts through the back door, breaking it off the hinges. Her four paws clumsily taking her into the forest. 

This is the grief she had been carrying and she would carry. Some part of her knew, had been preparing herself to carry this burden.

 _'I don't want it,'_ she thinks. _'I don't want it. I don't want it. I don't want it._ '

* * *

"Harry's dead."

Abeni blinks. Once. Twice. 

He had just been alive. She had been watching him breathe, making comical expressions from across the room. Death shouldn't have touched him yet. Even more than that, death shouldn't have touched her friend. Out of everyone, it was supposed to leave Leah alone.

"Do you want to call your mom or sister?"

"Where's Leah?"

Harry's eyes flash quickly to Jake. Abeni squints and follows his gaze, head shifting from one man to boy. There was weight behind that gaze - a secret attempting to be exchanged. 

"Where is she?" She repeats, standing.

"She ran."

"She ran?" Jacob asks incredulously.

"Into the woods."

Abeni's already out the door before they can call her name.

* * *

Her feet - no, her _paws_ \- carry her to the front porch steps of Abeni's home. She doesn't know why. She knows Abeni isn't here. She knows that only her family will greet her, but there is something comforting about the forever faint smell of Fatima's cooking and the janky porch step. Something comforting that her family couldn't give her right now.

How is this supposed to work? What will prompt her to shift back into her body?

She teeters from foot to foot, walks in circles.

The front door opens and there stands Delphine. She doesn't look like herself. Again, Leah sniffs the air and smells every ingredient of whatever made her face different. Blood. Flowers. Bits of crushed bone.

"What the fuck? Leah?" Delphine asks.

She howls in response.

"Is Abeni with you?"

Leah is grateful she can respond to that. She shakes her head. 

"Is she okay?" Delphine asks urgently. Leah nods. "Are you okay?"

She steps off the porch step cautiously with one hand still propped on the wood pillar. "We heard about your dad. I'm sorry."

That's it. 

The transformation back is not as smooth. Her fur recedes with her emotions not to the hair on her body, but underneath, deeper where the outside can't touch it. That recession doesn't stop the sob from choking out of Leah's chest. If anything , it is her emotion's second attempt at clawing their way out of her chest, coating her body in fur. Her naked body lying on the ground, curled in on herself like a child, is the only thing stopping the wolf underneath.

"Umi," Delphine calls. She rushes to Leah's side. "Umi."

* * *

"Take me to her."

"I'm taking you home," Jacob shoots her a guilty glance. "No one knows where she is and you can't stay here."

"You're not telling me something."

"Abeni, please. Just get on the bike."

Abeni misses when Jacob was a nervously overgrown boy crushing over some white girl with a boyfriend. Now, he was tired of her. Worse than that, he was keeping secrets.

She hated secrets.

"I will force you onto this bike," he says slowly.

"And I'll jump off. Try explaining that to my mom."

"I'm not scared of your mom."

"Are you scared of magic?"

He blinks. "What?"

"Take me to Leah," she repeats with more force.

"We don't know where your girlfriend is," he spits. 

"Like fucking hell you don't."

"Jacob." She didn't understand Sam's ability to appear at the times when she least wanted to see him. She didn't understand how him and his gang could be shirtless in this weather. He nods at her. "Abeni."

"Asshole."

Jacob sighs.

"We were looking in the woods and didn't find her," replies Sam, not acknowledging her jab. "Her scent ended in Forks. Quil and Embry are still scouting."

"I'll join once I bring Abeni home."

"Come on, Jacob, you can't handle-" Whatever words Paul was going to say are left unfinished. Sam holds up one hand and shakes his head.

"So, no one knows where she is?" Abeni asks.

"Like I told you," Jacob mumbles.

"We're looking."

"Shouldn't someone else look? I doubt she'd want to see any of you."

"Who else can see in the dark?" Paul asks. 

"Paul means to say that we're the only ones up," Sam interrupts. "The rest of the tribe will look if we can't find her by the morning."

"There's nothing for you to do Abeni." _Go home_.

She gets on the back of the motorcycle.

* * *

Abeni comes home to Leah curled on the couch, her head in Fatima's lap as she brushes her hair, shushes her sobs. Her and her mom's eyes lock.

"Are you upset with me still?" Her mom questions her softly in Arabic.

Leah doesn't even look up.

"I don't know. Is she okay?" Abeni responds. She takes off her shoes and walks quietly over to her friend. Leah's eyes are closed yet, the tears still trickle out of her eyes.

 _'Oh,'_ Abeni realizes. _'She's crying in her sleep._ '

"What happened? How'd she get here?"

"She walked," Fatima answers simply. 

It'd only been an hour since she'd been declared missing or maybe, perhaps it had been an hour since Billy found out. There might've been more time between then - a stretch, she knew, because the forest was so big and so easy to get lost in - but it was unlikely. If that were the case, Leah would be covered in dirt or twigs. She's clean.

"Did she take a shower?"

"Enough questions," Fatima shuffles herself forward, tips her head back against the couch's backing. "Rest. It's been a long day for everyone, mm."

"They're looking for her."

"And they'll find her. Tomorrow."

A blanket and a pillow sat neat at the floor of the couch. Probably, put there by Fatima for Abeni when she came home. Abeni was grateful for that. She knew Abeni wouldn't want to leave Leah. They could deal with the kiss, everything that came with that, later. Maybe. Knowing Leah she probably wouldn't want to deal with it at all. Especially now. 

Abeni slowly lays her head down on the pillow. It takes awhile for sleep to come grab her. Every time it finds her she jolts awake - a dream of fire and wolves hounding her sleep - until she decides to walk into her mom's dreams instead of her own. Fatima welcomes her in dream land. This world is much like her mom - all soft edges and vivid colors. The faint aroma of food that stuck to the walls of their home is stronger here. Harder to ignore. She's surprised to find Leah, Delphine, and Sue, all around a kitchen table. Eating. Laughing.

She wishes it were real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied. This is the last until December.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wish I could rub the grief from you as if it were a smudge on the cheek."
> 
> -Sandra Cisneros, from "Eyes of Zapata," _Woman Hollering Creek_
> 
> "All my grief says the same thing: this isn't how it's supposed to be. This isn't supposed to be. And the world laughs. Holds me by the throat. Says: But this is how it is."
> 
> -Fortesa Latifi

Whatever compels Sam's gang to appear on Abeni's doorstep is the same force that almost causes Abeni to throw her shoe at Sam's face. Her love for Leah causing her to act with a quickness. Her surprise at seeing Seth stopping her just short of letting her sandal fly through the air and smack into Sam's alarmed face. 

"Is Leah here?" Seth asks. He steps in front of Sam. His body a puppy shield protecting Sam from the half-sleep witch.

Abeni's eyes flicker from him to the others. She lowers her shoe back down to the ground and slips it on her foot, offering Seth a nod.

"Can I talk to her?"

Leah ignored all phone calls. She only ate and watched TV. Right now, she was laying in Abeni's bed as she had been doing for the past five days. Sleeping or weeping. Abeni didn't know. Didn't question.

Perhaps, Abeni's expression is enough of an answer.

Seth's lips twist and his eyes downcast to the ground. His nostrils flare. Jacob places one hand on his shoulder and pulls him back into the gang of boys. None of them reach out to hug him, but they all put a hand on his shoulder or his arm, give him that look of sympathy people had given Abeni when her own dad died.

"Can you tell Leah Harry's funeral is tomorrow?" Jacob asks. "We tried calling, but your mom said she hasn't wanted to talk to anyone."

Abeni cocks an eyebrow. "And you guys thought coming here might be better?" The look on their faces says 'yes'. They thought exactly that. "I'll tell her. Now, leave before she sees you."

She steps back inside, quietly closing the door behind her. She tiptoes up the stairs. She hadn't been at school for the past three days - she was grateful for the unprompted spring break. Between the commotion of Rosalie and Harry dying, she didn't think she could go to school. When she opens her bedroom door, Leah is standing by the window, looking out onto the driveway. She turns when Abeni enters. Her face wet and stoic as she walks over to the bed and curls herself up in the blanket.

"They were here to get me back home?" She asks. Her voice sounding as if she cried herself hoarse.

Abeni shakes her head and sits on the edge of the bed. "Your dad's funeral is tomorrow."

Leah's gaze fixes to the ceiling and stays there as if Abeni hadn't said a word. Liquid begins to pool around her eyes and as she blinks rapidly to quiet them, down her cheeks. In a moment of thoughtlessness, Abeni lays herself down behind her friend. They say nothing as Leah sobs silently, her shoulders shaking. 

Eventually, Abeni cries, too.

* * *

When Abeni is fast asleep, Leah will go into their backyard and lay in the grass. She'll let her emotions rise to the surface and coat her skin as they did that night. She'll try to stuff them down her throat to return herself back human and she'll fail. Repeat and repeat again. For the past five days, Leah had walked out to the backyard and lay there. Listened to the subtle whispers that had come since she gained a new body. Finding herself grateful that wolves couldn't cry.

* * *

The day of the funeral a sleek black car pulls into Abeni's driveway and Leah throws up in the bathroom. What had once been a faint repugnant smell had grown loud enough to clog all her senses. A smell like death and rotting. Bodies left out in the sun for too long. 

The smell was enough to make her want to become a wolf if only so she could make it disappear.

Abeni holds her hair back, longer now, when Leah wakes up out of her sleep and runs to the bathroom. Her groggy best friend doesn't complain or ask any questions. When Leah finally lifts her head off the toilet, Abeni's top lip pushes to her nose as she often did when she wanted to say something annoying.

"What?" Leah snaps.

"You look disgusting," she replies and proceeds to grab a tissue to wipe off the vomit from Leah's lips.

It's a weird moment to think about the kiss, Leah knows this, but the last time the two had been this close had been that night. She'd never thought someone could be so soft. Everything about Abeni overflowed in her hands, there was nothing _lacking_. No sharp edges to bump into. Just a fountain of skin part of Leah wished she could touch again. Like now. She wants to reach out and curl up in Abeni's arms. Both a familiar and unfamiliar emotion presses on the roof of her mouth. She locks her jaw shut - it pushes still. Pinpricks poke the thin layer of her skin. The wolf's attempt at creating a hole big enough to jump through.

She focuses on the tiny tuff of Abeni's hair that pokes out of her bonnet and breathes deeply. Each breath another recession of the fur, the wildness till she can hover at the safe distance she'd been keeping between her and herself. Too close and she's there again in the living room, feeling uncontrollable and lost. Too far and the wolf can take control at any moment.

The smell hits her, stronger this time. She scrunches her nose and recoils.

"Your friend is here," she chokes out.

Abeni's brows furrow only momentarily before she nods slowly. She discards the tissue in her hand.

"That's why you threw up?" She half-asks. "Have you ever thrown up before when she-"

A faint knocking at the door interrupts her question. 

How polite, Leah wants to snark, but she bites her tongue. It was too early and the bed was calling her name.

Abeni stares up at her when she stands and follows her to the bedroom. Her thoughts loud enough Leah can almost hear them. 

"You can go," Leah says abruptly. "I'm going back to sleep."

"The funeral is today."

"I know," Leah retorts harshly as she flops into the bed. 

"So I'll be back," Abeni continues undeterred, her hand hovering over the doorknob.

Leah whips her head back and glares at her friend. Abeni takes that as her cue to leave. If only temporarily. 

Rosalie's beauty was too much too early too soon. It seemed Abeni had forgotten how blinding the blonde could be. Her beauty serving as a distraction from the predator quality of her movements, the painful perfection of her everything. 

"Hi," Rosalie begins awkwardly.

"I don't have anything for you." Catching Rosalie's expression, Abeni shrugs. "Any relevant information I mean."

"I know. I realize now that Washington isn't the best place to research these things," she purses her lips as she often did Abeni was beginning to notice. Quickly, too quick for Abeni to register, she grabs a bag and pulls out a slip of paper.

It seemed the woman just had an abundance of papers. Slips of papers. With her pretty handwriting on it that said outlandish things like biomedical terminology and promised trips to Egypt.

"I'm not Egyptian," she replies thoughtlessly thinking it a gift. Her mom's dad was and they spoke Egyptian Arabic and watched Egyptian shows, sure, but the cultural connection fell apart sometime in the year her father cut them off from her family. Delphine was more Egyptian than Abeni. She moved more like umi than Abeni could.

Rosalie stares at her in a mixture of confusion and irritation. "The oldest vampire lives ther-"

"I thought your vampire royalty were the oldest."

If she had read the notes correctly and she had. Royalty for the Cullens didn't scream Egyptian or anything in that region for a few thousand miles. Royalty for them was the accent to a spring time blue sky. It was the trademark color of minimalism. Royalty that sat decaying in castles. 

"They say they are. Carlisle - my father has a friend who lived before the Volturi came into power. He could have a clue."

"Egypt."

Rosalie grits her teeth, averts her gaze to the side, and sighs deeply. Which Abeni could only call dramatic.

"It would count as an educational field trip for school. The school believes you've been chosen by a charity organization to participate in field research."

"Who approved that?"

"The superintendent." Her eyes flicker behind Abeni, up the stairs. "You would know if you were in attendance. You would also know that Bella is in Italy."

Abeni furrows her brows. "Is this a pattern for your family? Just taking teenage girls on charity funded field trips out of the states?*

"She went to stop my brother - " her nostrils flare and again she breathes deeply. She begins playing with one of her rings, shifting it this way and that. "- from making a fool of himself in front of the Volturi. Not exactly a charity funded field trip."

"When will we be going?"

"Two weeks. I thought I'd give you advanced notice," her mouth downturns as if she smells something fowl. Again, her eyes flicker to the stairs. This time squinting in brief confusion. "Leah's here. Alone?"

"Like every other time."

She shakes her head slowly. Her mouth still curled up in disgust even as she places a palm to her forehead, sheer anxiety and irritation radiating off of her. "Fuck," she hisses.

"Fuck what?"

Abeni blinks and Rosalie is no longer there. She's at her car door. She gets in and pulls out without so much as a goodbye. In the forest, Abeni catches glimpse of a wolf. Their eyes reflect the sunlight back on itself causing it to shiver. What is one becomes two. Then, three. She slams shut her door and locks it. After a year of living here, animal sightings were a common occurrence. She couldn't be bothered by everything that went bump in the night. 

* * *

"Your driving is good for shit, Bee."

"Fuck off."

* * *

The funeral is a blur of Abeni holding Leah's hand and glaring at any and all aunties who so much as look at her. Leah stands near her mom, but doesn't let her touch her. She stares straight ahead. The stoic unreadable expression that made her Sue's first born held firm on her face. Only her hands shake, holding Abeni's palm in a vice like grip.

Throughout the funeral, Sam watches her. Abeni only knows this because when they turn to leave, he is right there, blocking their exit as if he had been hoping to catch them before they could go. 

"Leah, I need to talk to you," he says.

And then, there's Seth. The other boys still with their respective kin. If it weren't for Seth, Leah would've said no, but he stares up at her with pleading eyes. 

"Okay, she says simply, slowly letting go of Abeni's hand. "I'll be okay."

She leaves with them. They head to the shed, far away from prying eyes and ears. The shed still has her vision board on the wall. Her father’s unfinished woodworking gifts clutter the desk and line the shelves. 

"Sam can help us. Help you, I mean," Seth says, the boyish grin on his face a little out of place, a little forced. "They're not a gang. They're like us. Werewolves."

Leah turns her gaze to her ex wearily. "You can turn?"

"When I was acting weird last year, it was because of the transformation. It can make you different. Do things that are out of character."

She nods slowly. "Like fuck my cousin."

He winces, opting not to respond. "We all carry the gene - some of us are more dormant than others - that causes us to change. It marks us as protectors."

"We as in Quileute."

He nods. " The wolf gene binds us together and enhances us. We can hear each other's thoughts, emotions -"

"I don't want that," she interjects. She can barely recognize her own voice. It sounds so distant.

He pauses. "It's not a question of wants. You've been chosen."

"It helps, Leah. The guys know a lot about the wolf stuff," Seth says. She resists the urge to snap at him. Seth only ever wants to help. To calm the tension in a room with his people-pleasing. At her expense more often than not.

She folds her arms. A million and one thoughts race through her mind.

"Usually, we're able to catch it before a person changes. Seth wasn't expected to change for at least another year."

"And me?" She asks. 

Sam grits his teeth. His tell tale sign of him attempting to quiet the truth.

"We didn't expect you."

"Me and Seth carry the same genes."

"You're the first woman to ever shapeshift." As in, we don't know what to do with you. 

Her dad's shock made so much sense. Crystal clear the image strikes her mind's eye. Harry had been shocked into a heart attack at the sight of her. Not happy or pleasantly surprised. It wasn't just that she was the first. It was that she shouldn't exist at all. Some mix of DNA prevented her that peace.

"I don't want this," she repeats.

"Leah," Sam whispers.

And she can feel it. All too presently and painfully the love assaults her as if it were her own. Samloves her still. He loves her, but not enough. Not enough to stay. Not more than Emily. The truth assaults her unprovoked and tears fall from her eyes without pause.

He steps forward. She steps back.

"I don't want this," she screams. 

She feels that, too. The brief fear. The resolve. She can only imagine how she looks. The mascara her and Abeni had halfheartedly applied trailing down her face. Her eyes wild, something in her snapping and wearing down under flame.

"We don't have a choice," Sam urges. His voice is quiet. An attempt at making her calm, but it only adds fuel. "You can't be by yourself. Believe me. Others have tried. You will have to join the pack eventually."

Whispers strike at her ears. Thoughts that are not her own, but also distinctly there thumping on her skull. She hears her name repeated over and over with fear and apprehension. Hers, Seth's, and Sam's all weaved together, barely comprehensible.

"What are you guys doing to her?" Abeni's voice cuts through it, rendering them silent. 

Leah turns and it's not just her. Sue walks down with Abeni. Her brows furrowed together in worry. The bags under her eyes looking as if they'd been outlined with kohl.

"All we were doing was talking," Sam replies. His voice calm, but underneath, Leah feels the fear and apprehension rise. Not at Sue. At Abeni.

"Don't fucking lie."

"Abeni," Sue warns. 

Immediately, Abeni walks over to Leah's side and Sam takes another step back.

"Do you want to go?" Abeni asks Leah.

Leah nods. Her mom steps to the side for them to exit. Her gaze locking onto Leah's, saying whatever her mouth wouldn't.

_Stay safe._

_I'm sorry._

_Come home._

In the car, Leah curls her knees to her chest and sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trauma Fact: If someone has community and support during a terrible time or event, the psychological wounds are less likely to scar. 
> 
> As you can see, the description changed. It did the job though which is remind me to update the story. Everytime I looked at it I was so confused.
> 
> I've come to the realization that this story began with me wanting a world where some of my childhood favorite's were given validation (also self-indulgent black ocs and racial dynamics!). It is still that but it has also become an exploration of grief and community. I'm looking forward to writing more about Rosalie and her grief. 
> 
> Also, Abeni's plus-sized if that wasn't obvious.
> 
> Side note: This story is at 50k words. Thank you for being with me on the ride. Stay safe, everyone. Times are rough. Remember to comment :). They're extremely motivating.


End file.
